


Bittersweet Ignorance

by underdog008221



Category: South Park
Genre: Assault, Break Up, Buddha Box, Craig is a pervert, Crying, Drama, Eric Cartman Being An Asshole, Eventual Romance, Feminine Tweek, Friendship, Getting Back Together, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Moving On, Pervert Craig, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Regret, Sexual Harassment, Trauma, mysterion - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2019-10-01 22:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 23
Words: 71,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17252369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underdog008221/pseuds/underdog008221
Summary: Summary: Tweek is done with Cartman’s bullshits with his ‘anxiety’ and ‘Buddha box.’ He breaks up with Craig and does his own things without him. Inspired by South Park’s episode of season 22, “Buddha Box.”





	1. Fuck the Buddha Box!

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own South Park or anything else. South Park belongs to Matt Stone and Trey Parker and the song “Thank U, Next” belongs to Ariana Grande.  
> Warning: Out of character, Character bashing on Eric Cartman, and cuss words (Mostly F-bombs).

Chapter 1: Fuck the Buddha Box!  
Tweek’s point of view  
I’m in my room, bawling my eyes out while stuffing my face in mocha and caramel ice creams. Ever since Cartman is supposedly diagnosed with “anxiety,” he comes up with his invention called “Buddha Box.” A Buddha Box! I can’t believe he has the balls to admit he has anxiety and encourage everybody to get a Buddha box! I have anxiety in my life. Sure, I can’t handle the amount of pressure on my shoulders and worry too much leading to a series of panic attacks! But I learn to cope with my anxiety with or without coffee, the things I do to calm me down, and my boyfriend, Craig! Ex-boyfriend to put it this way because I broke up with him after the therapy session! Cartman is just using it as an excuse to be on his phone and can’t get his shits together; he decides to be a complete fucking asshole to everybody. It fucking pisses me off! Because of him, everybody seems to fall for this piece of crap to “relieve anxiety.” Especially my parents and ex-boyfriend. What am I supposed to do now without him?! Why do I even associate with that fat weasel?! It’s always about Cartman, Cartman, Cartman! That’s it! I can’t be in my room, moping around! I have a lot of things to do on my hands by myself!  
No one’s point of view  
Tweek did everything he can to spend times for himself without anyone else. Especially his old flame. He invests himself in singing and playing the piano after school. He works out at the gym in the early mornings. He makes baked goods for Token, Kenny, Kyle, Butters, Stan, David, and Jimmy; his baking skills come to hands in school fundraiser with Jimmy, Wendy, David, and Heidi. Speaking of Heidi, Heidi is the one-person Tweek comes to for comfort. Luckily, Heidi is back to her old sweet self after she broke things off with Cartman. Heck, she’s one of the people who didn’t fall for the Buddha box because of him.  
Tweek’s point of view  
It feels so good to do things for myself without any worries. Baking, singing, playing the piano, and working out makes me forget what I’m infuriated at. I mean I feel better mentally and physically from the exercises. I guess I don’t need coffee to calm myself down. Okay fine, I sometimes drink coffee in a brief period of time. I find music as ways to immerse myself in a place outside of school, work, and relationship. Best of all, I even get to try out new recipes and help my friends out on school events. Especially Heidi who I now become friends with. Ha! Beat that, Buddha boxes! She saw me singing and playing the piano after school.  
“I hear you’re the one singing in the music room,” Heidi pointed out, smiling at me, “You have an amazing voice. What the song’s called?”  
“‘Thank You, Next’ by Ariana Grande,” I answered. Ariana Grande’s “Thank You, Next” is one of the new songs on the radio I find enjoyable to listen. Being hooked by the melody, I hum this tune on the piano. The song hypnotizes me to practice it constantly to miss recess and lunch through after school until my shift to the coffee shop.  
“Hey, I like that song,” commented Heidi.  
I thanked her for her compliment. I can tell that Heidi is getting better after she ended her relationship with Cartman. Good for her! Me and Heidi start hanging out at her house, discussing what we’re doing with school, our interests, friends, and dreams. Until then we get to our love lives, I began to shut down. The mention of love winces me back rock bottom. My heart cracks a little at the one thing I am lost without Craig.  
“Tweek? Hey, you seem to be despondent. Are you okay?” concerned Heidi where I find myself looking down at the ground. I can sense the dire force of sobbing to conceal my face with my hands.  
“What’s wrong, Tweekie? Don’t cry.”  
“I just feel that Craig has changed so much lately! He barely even talks to me anymore!” I let my distress out to her, “It’s all Cartman’s fault! I hate him for his Buddha Box bullshits! Because of Cartman, I can’t deal with everybody! Mainly Jackass Craig! I’m fucking done with everything! Fuck Cartman! Fuck Craig! Fuck everybody else! And fuck everything!”  
“Don’t be upset, Tweekie Bird,” Heidi reassured me while holding me, “Remember what happened with me and Eric?”  
I nodded at her as I listen to her confession, “When I broke up with him, I learn to never blame myself thanks to someone else’s mistakes. Especially someone else’s mistakes cost me to lose the people around me and this person who cared about me all this time. So, I decide to redeem myself such as redoing the Special Ed Science Fair, committing to help others, improving my grades, and exercising with my friends and family. I also devote myself to gardening and makeups to become a Youtuber. Despite mistrust among the people I caused them misery, there are some people forgive me.”  
“Though I am gratified by what you did and learn from Cartman, I still have doubts in my head,” I trembled, quivering my lips, “I am unsure if I can go on coping without Craig.” My heart screams out ‘Yes!’ for Craig. On the other hand, my mind objects to come back in Craig’s arms! She rubs my back in small circles, using her fingers to wiping my tears away.  
“Thanks, Tweek! You know Tweek, you are so much better than Cartman and Craig combined. Forget about them! Hell, Fuck the Buddha Box!” I look up at her, “I’m going to give you some advice. I hate to see my friend in tears and a broken heart over a guy ditching you for a box.”  
“Yeah, Fuck the Buddha Box!” I raised my voice to repeat the phrase into a chant, “Fuck the Buddha Box! Fuck the Buddha Box! Fuck the Buddha Box!”  
“You go, Tweekie Bird! Don’t lose the battle and war to them!” Heidi encouraged me. My eyes water up in tears. This time, they are tears of joy. Thank you, Heidi.  
“Right now, I’m going to clean your face up because tears, red eyes, puffy cheeks, and quivering lips ruin your pretty face,” Heidi takes me to her bathroom, washing my face with a damp towel, “Time to call for some help.”


	2. Heidi's Rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own the songs or anything else. “I Hate You, I Love You” belongs to both the original (Gnash ft Olivia O'Brien) and cover (Conor Maynard ft. Samantha Harvey) versions and “Thank You, Next” belongs to Ariana Grande; I made a rewritten version as well.

Chapter 2: Heidi's Rules

Tweek’s point of view  
Rule number one: Don’t pick up the phone!  
“Pick up the phone and you will never get over them, you can taste defeat!” ~ Heidi Turner  
I love the piano, not because of the tone or how it is easy to play than other instruments. I love the piano because the piano is the only thing I can get my shits together from these stressful situations. Before Craig and the whole yaoi thing.

Feeling used  
But I’m still missing you and I can’t  
See the end of this  
Just want to feel your kiss  
Against my lips and now  
All this time is passing by  
But I still can’t seem to tell you  
It hurts me every time I see you  
Realized how much I need you

The song, I Hate You I Love You, embodies my heartbreak. It is true how love is. Love used to be sweet at first. So sickeningly sweet! Love is a piece of shit people believe in from fucking fairytales! 

I hate you, I love you  
I hate that I love you  
Don’t want to, but I can’t put  
Nobody else above you  
I hate you, I love you  
I hate that I want you  
You want it, you need it  
And I'll never be it

I hear my phone ringing on the piano as I pause for a second. I grab my phone to see who is calling me. The screen on my phone says ‘Craig.’ I wrinkle my face at his name. Ugh! Un-fucking-believable! What he wants from me this time!? He has his *retch* it, so why fucking bother me?! Should I answer or not?  
I recall what Heidi says to me and the phrase I said earlier. My index finger immediately taps on to the red decline icon. My phone is silence. I aim my phone to a chair but rather lands on the floor. Scoff! Should I care about my phone being shattered on the floor?! Shattered like my heart! I continue to harmonize the melody on the piano. I channel my anger at them and the bullshits into the rhythm to sing out the lyric. The lyric pushes me on the edge of battling my emotions! I don’t fucking care if I get the impression of my face heating up and tears are dripping from my green-hazel eyes!

I miss you when I can’t sleep  
Or right after coffee or right after when I can’t eat  
I miss in my front seat  
Still got sand in my sweaters from nights we don’t remember  
Do you miss me like I miss you  
Fucked around and got attached to you  
Friends can break your heart too  
And I am always tired but never of you  
If I treated you like you wouldn’t like that  
Held out my hand for you  
But you didn’t touch that  
I wrote a text but then  
I deleted that  
I got these feelings but  
You didn’t realize that  
Oh, oh keep it on the low  
You’re still in love with me but your friends don’t know  
If you wanted me you would just say so  
And if I were you,  
I would never let you go

On the flip side, he lets me go in the blink of an eye. Wow… I would be so dumbfounded if he regrets choosing it over me. Big surprise! Boo-hoo cry me a river! Who am I to him?! Second place?! Third wheel?! Hmph!

~Flashback (at Heidi’s house) ~  
“You know Tweek, you are so much better than Cartman and Craig combined. Forget about them! Hell, Fuck the Buddha Box!”  
“Yeah, Fuck the Buddha Box!"  
“You go, Tweekie Bird! Don’t lose the battle and war to them!”  
~Flashback ends (back to the school’s music room) ~

I hate you, I love you  
I hate that I love you  
Don’t want to, but I can’t put  
Nobody else above you  
I hate you, I love you  
I hate that I want you  
You want it, you need it  
And I'll never be it

The music distracts me from having to pick up my phone. Heidi is right. I can do better than Cartman and Craig. She is the reason to hold my head high and stand on my own two feet. I don’t fucking care about them anymore! Buddha box or not, I’m going to prove myself that I come out stronger than them. Fuck them, fuck the Buddha Box, and fuck this bullshit! 

All alone I watch you watch it  
Like it’s the only thing you’ve ever seen  
You never cared, you never did  
You don’t give a damn about me  
Yeah, all alone I watch you watch  
Like it’s the only thing you’ve ever seen  
How is it you never notice that  
You are slowly killing me  
I hate you, I love you  
I hate that I love you  
Don’t want to, I can’t put  
Nobody else above you  
I hate you, I love you  
I hate that I want you  
You want it, you need it  
And I’ll never be it

Rule number two: Revenge makeovers  
“Spite them with a brand-new face and style!” ~ Heidi Turner  
“I talked to Nichole and Bebe about fashion tips for you,” Heidi mentors me, “I told them about your broken heart from Craig and Bebe, Nichole, and I come up with a style together for you.”  
“What is it?” I follow alongside Heidi as we are strolling around the mall. Heidi tells me that Bebe and Nichole are experts at fashion out of her friends in her group. They are so cool enough to become fashion icons. This is something that I didn’t know because the guys mock the girls, joking about them. Of course, Cartman! Geez, it’s all about him! I have to listen to his rants every fucking day to give me a headache! Thank god, I come to Heidi. Unlike him, Heidi never complains about anything; is good at giving advice and listening.  
“Well, you’re nice, cute, and you have a face of an angel,” her comment makes me blush. Nobody calls me cute or anything. Not even my ex. I remembered being number #8 on the girls’ secret list. Nevertheless, I forgot what happened to it.  
“Then again, I want to see the inner badassery out of you!” Heidi smirks at me. She knows what she’s talking about. Hmm...Cute and badass..., “So badass and stylish that they’ll regret it for sure! In fact, payback is a bitch to them. Bebe and Nichole know where to shop for clothes of this specific style!”  
We go stores to stores, shopping for new clothes and shoes money can buy. At first, I feel out of my element about the outfits we’re choosing. Heidi notices me being self-conscious and puts her hand on my shoulder, “Hey, don’t think about what they say and think. This is the 21st century, so who gives a damn about wearing feminine or masculine. Clothes are just clothes.”  
I get to model the outfits, strutting down the fitting room and did flirty poses and smizes. Heidi takes pictures on her phone while applauding me, “Yes, Tweek! Flaunt your curves because honey, people and the Buddha boxes are not ready for this cute booty of yours! You’re like a supermodel on the runway!"  
The clothes and shoes we brought are mixtures of dark and soft colors. They have textures I’m not familiar with including leather, lace, velvet, and other materials. The guys and dads ridicule girls’ and moms’ clothes and I look back to the metrosexual fad in 3rd grade; I feel regretful to beat up Kyle because he just wants to be true to himself. I wonder what and how Kyle is doing after the Heidi’s and Cartman’s splitsville.  
Of course, until PC principal comes to the picture. Speaking of outfits, I am wearing the ones Heidi pick out for me right now! Believe me, they highlight my “curves” nicely and are comfortable. I swear I feel like Cinderella to her glass slipper when wearing high heels and boots! I love these shoes! Minus her prince charming. Sorry, not sorry to the prince charming!  
“There’s more,” I follow her to a salon where we are treated to massages, spa treatments, and mani-pedi. I got to admit I never had any relaxation like this before. I never had the times to take care of myself. I always work at my parents’ coffee shop after school; spend times with him. My shoulders and back aches from my times with work and relationship.  
“Wow, your face looks fresh and gorgeous,” praised Heidi as we pay for the massages and spa treatments.  
“Come on, I’ll show you my favorite store,” She takes me to a cosmetic store. She brought me a makeup box, wipes, remover, and facial treatment products, and a shitload of makeups. I feel bad for her to pay the kinds of stuff for me even though I can pay them myself, but she insisted. She tells me how the box can fit so many eyeshadow palettes, lipsticks, lip liners, blushes, eyeliners, false eyelashes, and mascara. It also comes with makeup brushes, makeup sponge, facial lotion, concealer, and other things in this box. Holy shit! This box can hold a lot of stuff and costs more than what Token have at his house!  
When we got home, Heidi teaches me how to do makeup. I used to have the same awkwardness on makeup as I did with the new clothes. The guys and dads badmouthed makeups as a waste of time and other shits. Until before PC principal comes to our town. However, Heidi’s words encourage me to screw them and their judgments. It turns out makeup is like art on my face. I somehow find respect in makeups after all.  
“Treat yourself like a princess with some facial masks, cleansers, and moisturizers,” Heidi offered the facial bottles and jars plus makeup kits to me as gifts which I thanked her deeply.  
Rule number three: You, Yourself, and Only You  
“The only person worth your time is you and not them!” ~ Heidi Turner  
I’m already finished practicing Ariana Grande’s song, “Thank You, Next.” It’s just that I need to work on rewriting the lyrics. Instead of Sean, Ricky, Pete, and Malcolm, I put the names of my crushes and sure, Craig. I remembered my celebrity crushes like Chris Hemsworth from Thor in Marvel, Keegan Allen from Pretty Little Liars, and Jamie Dornan from Fifty Shades of Grey movies. I did binge-watch these ‘provocative’ movies and a tv show for ‘chicks’ according to certain somebodies in my laptop when I broke up with Craig, so don’t judge me! I also replace ‘Ari’ with ‘Tweekie’ after the nickname Heidi gave me. The last change is ‘my mama’ with Heidi and ‘my dad’ with Cartman. It makes senses considering Heidi outgrown Cartman. Completed! I open my mouth to sing my rewritten version of Ariana Grande’s Thank You, Next.

Thought I end up with Chris  
But he wasn’t a match  
Wrote some songs about Keegan  
Now I listen and laugh  
Even though I almost got married  
And for Jaime, I’m so thankful  
Wish I could say, “thank you” to Craig  
Cause he’s an angel  
One taught me love  
One taught me patience  
And one taught me pain  
Now I’m so amazing

I rolled my eyes at the words ‘angel’ and ‘pain.’ True, he taught me pain with the Buddha box! I shrug it off to not think about it. Ironically, he is only an angel to me and our baby, Stripes! Before the Buddha box!

I’ve loved and I’ve lost  
But that’s not what I see  
So, look what I got  
Look what you taught me  
And for that, I say  
Thank you, next (Next)  
Thank you, next (Next)  
Thank you, next  
I’m so fucking grateful for my ex  
Thank you, next (Next)  
Thank you, next (Next)  
Thank you, next (Next)  
I’m so fucking  
Spend more time with my friends  
I ain’t worry about nothing  
Plus, I met someone else  
We have a better discussion  
I know they say I move on too fast  
But this one gonna last  
Cause his name is Tweekie  
And I’m so good with that  
He taught me love  
He taught me patience  
He handles pain  
He’s so amazing

That’s right, Tweek! The only person who is worth my time is me. I love me more than anyone else. Anyone else who broke my heart doesn’t deserve me. Including you, Craig! Boys are such players and fuck machines! 

I’ve loved and I’ve lost  
But that’s not what I see  
'Cause look what I've found (yeah, yeah)  
Ain't no need for searching  
And for that, I'll say  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next  
I’m so fucking grateful for my ex  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Say thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Next)  
I’m so fucking grateful for my ex  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
One day I will walk down the aisle  
Holding hands with Heidi  
I’ll be thanking to Cartman  
Cause she grew from the drama  
Only wanna do it once, real bad  
Go on make that shit lasts  
God forbid something happens  
At least this song is a smash  
I got so much love  
Got so much patience  
I’ve learned from the pain

If it wasn’t for Craig, then I wouldn’t learn the hard way of how a love story ends with heartbreak. 

I turned out amazing  
I’ve loved and I’ve lost  
But that’s not what I see  
'Cause look what I've found (yeah, yeah)  
Ain't no need for searching  
And for that, I'll say  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next  
I’m so fucking grateful for my ex  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Say thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Next)  
I’m so fucking grateful for my ex  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
Yeah, yee  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next

I croon along to the end of the song. Wow! I want to sing this song again! I am getting the feeling that it will get stuck in my head! Ariana Grande is the best at handling with her breakups! While I’m smiling, tears flooded down my face down to my dress and the keys. He is why I cried thousands of tears every day and night. The pain from him is why I’m still here. Breathing and fine on my own. Thank you, Craig! 

Rule number four: Eyes on the prizes!  
“Are you ready for your time to shine? Show them what you got!” ~ Heidi Turner  
“Hey Tweek, you should try out for the talent show and cheerleading,” Heidi and I did our yoga session in the gym. I join her along since she narrated me about her daily visit to the gym with her friends and sometimes her family.  
“You really think so?” I questioned, “When are the talent show and cheerleading tryouts?”  
“Absolutely Tweek! The talent show is on Wednesday during lunch or after school and cheerleading tryouts are on next Friday!” she informs me, “You have musical talent in piano and singing and you’re flexible like a pretzel! Also, we need a boy in the cheerleading squad!”  
A talent show!? Cheerleading!? This is too much pressure! There are going to be so many people watching me! What if I’m not good enough to be in the talent show and the cheerleading squad!? I’ll let everybody including Heidi down!  
“Hey, I will always be there for you no matter what. Put your heart into the talent show and cheerleading,” Heidi convinces me considerately as I thank her, “Show them what you’re made of!”  
~The next day~  
“On Wednesday, We Wear Pink!”  
I stride confidently in the school’s corridor to find the sign-up sheet for the talent show and cheerleading. The sign-up sheets are posted on the school’s board. Luckily, the talent show is blank. The cheerleading sheet consists of only a few of the girls’ names. Blissfully and anxiously, I shakingly write down my names on both papers. Damn! Even without coffee, my handwriting is anything but all over the place! Who cares?! I am ready to demolish Cartman, Craig, and the rest of the fucking Buddha boxes! They are going down and they haven’t seen the last of me!  
“Let’s do this!” I accepted my challenges at the sign-up papers, “Bring it on, Cartman, Craig, and Buddha boxes!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfit #1 (after shopping for new clothes and shoes): a dark green crop top and mini skirt, floral bomber jacket, and white pumps with an olive-green cabby hat, a gold choker, and silver studded knuckle ring.  
> Makeup #1 (at Heidi’s house after they’re done with shopping): Backtalk lipstick, Rush lip liner, Bourbon eyeliner pencil, 3 Sheets and Backtalk eyeshadows (smokey eyes), Oh Honey Highlighter, and BADgal Lash Volumizing mascara.  
> Outfit #2 (Thank You, Next): red backless slip dress, black ripped denim jacket, and dark grey combat boots with black lace tights, red flower pom-pom headband (DIYs), and leather harness.  
> Makeup #2 (Thank You, Next): Mrs. Wallance Lipstick, Bad blood lip liner, Desperation eyeliner pencil, Drunk Dial and Privacy eyeshadows (smokey eyes), Stop and Smell the Rose blush, Better Than Sex and Diamonds mascara, and Lash Couture 5th Ave, Grandeur.  
> Outfit #3 (Pink Angel): blush pink lace and satin babydoll dress, cream faux fur jacket, and rose gold thigh-high heels with a pink rose headband and gold cute bracelets and rings.  
> Makeup #3 (Pink Angel): Ex-girlfriend lipstick, Naked2 lip liner, Asphyxia eyeliner pencil, Sea Foam and Under the Sea eyeshadows (smokey eyes), Spoiler Alert! Highlighter, No Champagne, No Gain blush, Cuff eyeliner pencil, Perversion Mascara, and Looks So Natural Lash, Flirty false eyelashes  
> *I have links down below to show that I don't own the makeups. The makeups belong to the companies who made them.
> 
> Urban Decay  
> https://www.urbandecay.com/vice-lipstick-by-urban-decay/ud771.html  
> https://www.urbandecay.com/24-7-glide-on-eye-pencil/122.html  
> https://www.urbandecay.com/backtalk-palette-urban-decay/ud898.html  
> https://www.urbandecay.com/naked-cherry-eyeshadow-palette-urban-decay/ud927.html  
> https://www.urbandecay.com/perversion-by-urban-decay/457.html
> 
> WinkyLux  
> https://www.winkylux.com/collections/eyes/products/mermaid-kitten-palette?variant=12455065944173
> 
> Beauty Bakerie  
> https://www.beautybakerie.com/products/cotton-candy-champagne-blush-palette  
> https://www.beautybakerie.com/products/milk-honey-highlighting-palette
> 
> Benefit Cosmetics  
> https://www.benefitcosmetics.com/us/en/product/badgal-lash-volumizing-mascara
> 
> Too Faced  
> https://www.toofaced.com/shop/eyes/mascara/better-than-sex-and-diamonds-mascara/80029.html
> 
> Ulta  
> https://www.ulta.com/lash-couture-5th-ave-grandeur?productId=xlsImpprod17721153  
> https://www.ulta.com/looks-so-natural-lash-flirty-multipack?productId=xlsImpprod17721195


	3. Bye Old Tweek, Hello New Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the songs or anything else. "Black Magic" belongs to Little Mix and "Thank You, Next" belongs to Ariana Grande.

 

Chapter 3: Bye Old Tweek, Hello New Tweek

Tweek's point of view

"Tweekie, you look so exquisite!" Heidi has her phone out to snap a selfie with me. "You'll have some heads turning when you show up in this outfit of yours!"

"Thanks, Heidi!" I said, "Hey, I should give you, Bebe, and Nichole credits for the makeover."

"No problem honey," Heidi taps on her phone, "I already send a photo on Instagram and tag you, Theresa, Isla, and the rest of the girls. By the way, are you ready for the auditions?"

"Let's hope, Heidi because I have been going through the lyrics for hours!"

"Don't overexert yourself. I'm going to be there for you, watching you do your best," She smiles at me, "I'll practice the cheer moves with you at the gym."

No one's point of view (cue the music! ~ Black Magic by Little Mix)

Heidi is right. Ever since Tweek's breakup with Craig and his makeover from Heidi (plus Bebe and Nichole), he got reactions from boys and girls in the school. Some are shocked and confused, including Stan, Kyle, Token, David, and Jimmy. Butters beams at him kindly, while Kenny, of course, has a lustful look on his face (As the narrator, I would've whacked him in the head for being a perv).

"Holy shit!" Kyle is amazed at the unexpected beauty from Tweek, then he disgustedly looks away from the presence of Heidi leading Tweek. He even lets out a scoff at her. Tweek notices his behavior towards her; he tries to put his finger on it.

"What the hell?!" exclaimed Stan. He can't believe that 1) Tweek isn't with Craig as usual (before the Buddha Box incident by *ahem* Cartman, so no shit, Sherlock!), 2) He's turned into one of the popular girls in drama movies, and 3) Tweek turns out fine without Craig on his side.

"Oh lord, Tweek..." Token blurted out as he sees his friend, dressed in pinks, white, and golds and makeups painted on his face, walking with Heidi.

"D-Damn Tweek, damn!" stuttered Jimmy.

"Aye yai yai, Tweek!" David's jaws dropped.

Bebe and Nichole are squealing at the blonde-haired boy's metamorphosis thanks to them and Heidi, clapping for him and Heidi. Wendy gives them an approving look on her face as well as the other girls. Except for the raisin girls who are sneering at them which Tweek and Heidi don't give a flying fuck.

~Time skips towards lunch! (no time to do the recess part!) ~

Tweek's point of view

"Tweek Tweak, you're up next," PC principal announced on his microphone. Taking a deep breath and reminding myself to calm down, I come out on stage. I can see PC principal, Strong Woman, Mr. Mackey, and a brown-haired man with a thin mustache. He is wearing a pink-collar shirt, grey pant, and black shoes. I can also see Heidi seating in the middle row, giving me a thumbs-up.

"Tweek, what song are you going to sing for us?"

"Umm... This song is called Thank You, Next by Ariana Grande," I answered in the microphone, "And it is my favorite song dedicated to Heidi and the ones that got away."

"Oh, glorious choice!" the man in the pink shirt chimed in a flamboyant voice, "Show us what you got!" That guy is an extra!

The music is starting and I envision myself in the music room after school, going through the pain from them and the love and patience because of Heidi. At the count of three, I open my mouth to sing in the microphone.

Thought I end up with Chris  
But he wasn't a match  
Wrote some songs about Keegan  
Now I listen and laugh

I snap my fingers and sway my hips to the beat. I can see Heidi's friends coming to sit down with her. It is so awkward of me to dance in front of people especially the judges, Heidi, and the girls. No, Tweek! Just go with the flow!

Even though I almost got married

And for Jaime, I'm so thankful  
Wish I could say, "thank you" to Craig  
Cause he's an angel  
One taught me love  
One taught me patience  
And one taught me pain  
Now I'm so amazing

I smile as I chant 'One taught me love, one me taught patience, and one me taught pain, now I'm so amazing' out. I think about the people who made me become who I am. Especially Craig. He may break my heart to wonder if I love him or not. But I'm going to be okay from now on.

I've loved and I've lost  
But that's not what I see  
So, look what I got  
Look what you taught me  
And for that, I say

Thank you, next (Next)  
Thank you, next (Next)  
Thank you, next

I swing my hand up and down and making circles clockwise and counter-clockwise left and right.

No one's point of view

Unbeknownst to Tweek, a fan is turned on to a high mode from outside the theatre. The wind from the fan gives him movements as he's dancing along the music. The blonde boy looks breathtaking when his hair is flying in different directions. The spotlights suddenly shine above Tweek. They shimmer the pinks, golds, and white to make him look surreal.

I'm so fucking grateful for my ex

Tweek's point of view

I slightly dip down not far from the ground and up. I pat down the bottom of my dress when I feel a gust of air blowing across my legs. Where the gust of air comes from? My feet are doing their dance show as they are kicking and tapping on the floor.

Thank you, next (Next)  
Thank you, next (Next)  
Thank you, next (Next)  
I'm so fucking  
Spend more time with my friends  
I ain't worry about nothing  
Plus, I met someone else  
We have a better discussion  
I know they say I move on too fast  
But this one gonna last  
Cause his name is Tweekie  
And I'm so good with that  
He taught me love

Bouncingly, I put both hands on my chest and hips. Holding on the microphone, I pop my shoulders playfully. Not too little, not too much.

He taught me patience  
He handles pain  
He's so amazing

I've loved and I've lost  
But that's not what I see  
'Cause look what I've found (yeah, yeah)  
Ain't no need for searching  
And for that, I'll say  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next

I throw my left arm in the air, flicking my hand up and down. I rotate my arm around clockwise down and again with my right arm. Once more, I throw both arms and wave them side to side.

I'm so fucking grateful for my ex  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Say thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Next)  
I'm so fucking grateful for my ex

With my arms still up in the air, I circle them while turning around as well. I stop with a kick in the back from my left leg, placing my hands on my hips. Nodding my head, I drop low to do the squat pose girls do on Instagram. I don't care if the wind randomly is whisking my dress up.

Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
One day I will walk down the aisle  
Holding hands with Heidi  
I'll be thanking Cartman  
Cause she grew from the drama

Oh god! This is the part where I feel overwhelmed. A mix of pain and bliss are tickling me to let my tears out like a Niagara Fall. No, Tweek! Stay strong!

Only wanna do it once, real bad  
Go on make that shit lasts  
God forbid something happens  
At least this song is a smash  
I got so much love  
Got so much patience  
I've learned from the pain

I turned out amazing  
I've loved and I've lost  
But that's not what I see  
'Cause look what I've found (yeah, yeah)  
Ain't no need for searching  
And for that, I'll say

I give myself a twirl. I did my own small can-can dance while my hands are on the microphone.

Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next  
I'm so fucking grateful for my ex  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Say thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Next)  
I'm so fucking grateful for my ex  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
Yeah, yee  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next

I blow out a kiss at the end of the song. Smiling and relaxing, PC Principal, Strong Woman, and Mr. Mackey are clapping as well as Heidi and the girls. The guy in the pink shirt is actually crying.

"Wow, Tweek. I never knew you have something in you. Great performance. Mkay."

"The song is romantic, cute, and sweet. There are so many expressions someone can relate to," said Strong Woman.

"Oh my god! It is so ethereal and heartwarming! I love it!" sniffled the guy in the pink shirt.

"Thank you for that lovely performance, Tweek." I can hear PC Principal mutters out, "So progressive of a boy to wear clothes and sing a song outside of the gender norms and he is proud."

As I get down from stage and PC Principal calls out the person's name to audition, Heidi and the girls come dashing towards me to congratulate me.

"You rock, Tweek!"

"You look like an angel!"  
"Way to go, Tweekie!"

"I'm glad that you did it! I knew you nail it!" Heidi hugs me in a way I close my eyes to cry on her shoulder. Thank you, Heidi, for being there for me. Thank you, Craig, for making me believe I'm fine on my own without you! I love you, Craig and I'll never forget you for what you did to me through the heartbreak and glee.

"What's wrong Tweek?" noticed Wendy as she becomes concerned. The rest of the girls have the same expression as her.

"Craig is going to pay for what he did to Tweekie," Bebe puffs out furiously while Nichole looks at her in fear. Her sky-blue eyes are flaring and her fist smacks against her hand. She makes a bone cracking sound.

I shake my head at Bebe. I don't want Bebe beating the crap out of Craig. What if Bebe gets suspended or expelled from the school?! Even if it is Cartman's fault for my breakup with Craig, violence isn't going to solve anything. Heidi taught me to be better than Cartman, Craig, and the Buddha boxes. Because of her, I learn to love the person who is worth my time more than anyone else. Me. Tweek Tweak.

~ At my house~

Washing my face from bawling my eyes out, I look myself in the mirror. I stare at myself with a smile on my face. Try to make me self-destruct, huh? Guess what? I am still here, so try again! I don't care about Cartman, Craig, and the Buddha Box anymore. I'm getting over them!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: The guy in the pink shirt, grey pant, and black shoes is actually Bridon's Gueermo's abusive dad, Mr. Gueermo from season 12, episode 13 of South Park, Elementary School Musical.


	4. Tweekie Got the Moves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the songs or anything songs such as "Ready For It" belongs to Taylor Swift, "Sorry Not Sorry" belongs to Demi Lovato, "New Rules" belongs to Dua Lipa, "Shape of You" belongs to Ed Sheeran, and "Finesse" belongs to Bruno Mars ft Cardi B. The dance I insert in the fanfiction is based on Riverdale which is created by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa.

Chapter 4: Tweekie Got the Moves

No one's point of view

~ The next day ~

The boys and girls are gathering around at the bulletin board. They're here for the list PC principal and Strong Woman posted to see who is accepted to perform the talent show. Some scream out 'Yes!' and did their victory dances. Others, unfortunately, groan as they droop their heads low in disappointment.

Tweek, being the last one standing, approaches towards the list. He uses his index finger to guide through the names on the list. As he checks every name from top to bottom, he stops at the mid-bottom section. Tweek Tweak. He starts to giggle, showing his irresistible smile. He can't believe that he got accepted to perform the talent show!

Tweek's point of view

"I did it!" I cheered as I tell Heidi about the news, "It is all because of you, Heidi."

"That is outstanding, Tweek. I knew you can do it!" Heidi hugs me as she did when I sang Ariana Grande's "Thank You, Next" to the judges, her, and the girls, "Hey Tweek, how about you and me practice the cheer moves at the gym?"

"Yes," I nodded at her. Today is Friday and we need to let out some steam after hours of being in the classroom with work plus more homework piling up on us.

~ At the gym ~

"So, if you want to be in the cheerleader squad, you have to learn the cheer moves and dances," Heidi required me as we are setting up in the gym, "I know this is new to you, so I'm going to teach you baby steps by baby steps."

I nodded at her. Yep, this is new to me since I mainly play sports with the guys. Of course, I only did it since me and Craig becomes a couple. Because of my relationship with Craig, I didn't get to explore other things that didn't revolve around him. I never get to do anything besides being arm candy to him.

No one's point of view

Heidi and Tweek went through warmups, cheer moves, and the cheer chant. They even practice the moves with pom-poms and cheerleading equipment. Tweek is strong at flexibility according to Heidi because he did his daily workouts at the gym in the early morning. However, he struggles on the cheer chant considering how he isn't an extrovert. He usually screams and stumbles on words when he opens his mouth besides "Gah!", "Oh, Jesus!", and "Too much pressure!"

"We are Cows, proud and true! Count on South Park, moo moo moo! Go Cows!" Tweek chanted in a rather soft but almost loud tone, clapping to the rhythm.

"Louder, Tweek!" ushered Heidi.  
"We are, proud and true! Count on South Park, moo moo mo! Gooo Cows!"

"Again, Tweek!"

"We are, proud and true! Count on South Park, moo moo mo! Gooo Cows!" Tweek vocalized, managing to bring confidence in himself, "We are Cows, proud and true! Count on South Park, moo moo moo! Gooo Cows! We are Cows, proud and true! Count on South Park, moo moo moo! Gooo Cows!" He finishes off with a jump.

"You got it, Tweek!" applauded Heidi as she jumps up and down cheerfully, "You got the flexibility! You got team spirit! Now it is time for the choreography! Let's see if you got the moves!"

"Hit the music!"

~Cue the music! (Song #1: "Ready for It?" by Taylor Swift) ~

"5, 6, 7, 8!" Heidi counted to the music as she begins the choreography and Tweek follows alongside her.

Next, they break it down to a dance battle which they end up having fun, laughing with each other.

~insert dance scene (Song #2: "Sorry Not Sorry" by Demi Lovato) ~

watch?v=a3kD1ry7SMA, Tweek as Veronica and Heidi as Cheryl

Lastly, they are going to take turns for their own dance moves. Tweek watches Heidi's dance as she moves gracefully and rigorously and did her gymnastics stunts.

~ Heidi's dance~ (Song #3: "New Rules" by Dua Lipa)

When the music stops to a finish, she strikes a pose. He is amazed by her performance to cheer for her.

"Your turn, Tweek," Heidi reminded him. He walks over to the center where Heidi did her dance. His heart is drumming in his chest as he keeps his composure. He thought to himself, 'Don't freak out, Tweek! Do it for yourself! Do it for Heidi!'

~ Tweek's dance~ (Song #4: "Shape of you" by Ed Sheeran)

The music starts off as poppy and upbeat with a tropical vibe, so Tweek dances in a playful, flirty way. He twirls, leaps, and did gymnastics moves.

Heidi's point of view

When I watch him dance, I never knew that Tweek has something in him. He has a sense of style. He sings like an angel at the talent show audition and music room. He even got the spirit and moves to be a cheerleader. Overall, he continues to grow as his own person without him. Most importantly, he is the only person who actually has sympathy for me after the things I had done. Sure, I have the girls as my friends; they instead made me feel bad about myself for my choice to date Eric let alone didn't bother to at least comfort me.

I still remember the tears falling from his eyes to his face as I give him a hug and wipe them away with my fingers. He reminds of me when I broke up with him. Hurt. Betrayed. Angry. Having no one to turn to. I never forget the looks on my classmates and the whispering from them. Of course, I did deserve to be shitted on or snubbed. Especially the person who did help me; now hates me.

~ Flashback (at school) ~

"Oh my god, it's that girl who ruined the Special Ed Science Fair."

"Didn't she used to be with Cartman?"

"She's such a bad girl for breaking a great guy's heart!"

"Hmph!" I winced at the way Kyle scowls and turn away from me. This is worse than the comment he said to me since the "President" incident.

~ Flashback (the "President" incident) ~

"I would never have the hots for the person you are now!" he hissed at me. I shouldn't call his brother stupid. Heck, I shouldn't insult him or his own people in front of everybody at school in the first place.

~ Flashback ends ~

"Hey Heidi, are you okay?" Tweek taps me on the shoulder as I snap myself to reality, "I'm already done with my dance. Do you want to go grab a bite to eat?"

"Sure, Tweek," I can hear the sound of my tummy growling, "And I know a place we can go."

No one's point of view

Heidi and Tweek go to their separate ways to take a shower and change to their usual outfits. They both exit out of the gym. They walk together to an Asian restaurant where they sit by the window. Heidi orders a Thai papaya salad with peanuts and mint and avocado smoothie while Tweek orders a Vietnamese fish and noodle salad with dills and an iced Vietnamese coffee.

"Wow, this place is very nice," Tweek complimented when observing around the place. The place looks rustic and contemporary with authentic Asian twists, "Thank you, Heidi, for taking me to this salad place."

"No problem, Tweek. This is the place I know that have fresh and healthy foods and authentic." They remember City Wok as the only 'Asian' restaurant in this town before PC Principal, Strong Woman, and the PC babies come to town, "I remember he tricks me into eating a bucket of fried chicken from KFC without knowing it is not vegan."

"It's all right, Heidi," Tweek comforts her, "Cartman is always like that with people. Manipulative, obnoxious, and condescending. But you turn out better without him and I am proud of what you did back then. I used to be in his gang until he kicked me out and I start to hang out with Craig, Clyde, Token, and Jimmy. Even Butters."

Heidi smiles at him as they're munching and sipping on their foods and drinks. Tweek sighs and said, "Heidi, I'm sorry that the guys used Butters to dress up as a girl in order to infiltrate and makes fun of you and the girls all these times."

"Hey, it's okay. I have no hard feelings," Heidi cheers Tweek up, "We all did something terrible in our lives such as how me and the girls shitted on Wendy for not being a 'stupid, spoiled whore' or called her 'jelly' or 'hater.'"

"Let's not forget about the Skankhunt thing." They both shuddered at the horrible mayhem caused by an adult when Heidi finds out who is Skankhunt44. They can't imagine the boys and girls breaking up and feuding with each other. Butters pulled down his pant to reveal his 'weiner' and Nelly shouting at Butters that 'she's going to kick his ass.' Tweek is relieved to know that he and Craig didn't break up at the time of the Skankhunt44 episode.

Passing the time at the restaurant, they start their usual conversations such as their classes, friends, and other topics in generals including the talent show, cheerleading, and dancing. Tweek never went out anywhere else due to how he always spends his times at his parent's coffee shop.

"Tweek, I got to admit that you have the potential in singing, dancing, and cheerleading. Why hide it away from everybody?" the question Heidi is asking shooks him to the core.

"Well... besides being busy at the coffee shop, I've been spending times with Craig that I never had times for myself or do anything else. I can't believe I did everything out of my infatuation for that boy." Tweek stare down at his plate cleaned of his food, "I feel like a damsel in distress, trophy housewife, or ragdoll to him."

"Don't say that. You're more than just Craig's boyfriend," affirmed Heidi, "What's important is you become strong and independent in no matter what. Don't make the same mistake as I did."

"You're right, Heidi," Tweek grins at Heidi.

~Time flies ~

In consideration of Heidi's encouraging pep talk with Tweek, he works hard to open himself up to the people he knows and on the moves for the cheerleading tryouts throughout the week. Heidi is crying out tears of joy to see her friend blossoming from a bud to a flower.

Friday is coming and today's the cheerleading tryout after school. Tweek look at the girls in his school stretching and practicing their moves. He even finds a bunch of girls from Raisins applying their makeups, doing their hairs, and looking themselves in their compact mirrors.

Tweek's point of view

These girls are real competitions. They look like they're trained their asses off. Should I feel intimidated at them? I mean I'm the only boy to sign up for cheerleading? For what reason besides to spite them?! The only exception is the Raisin girls. They are just skins and no substances whatsoever. I roll my eyes at them as if I doubt that they can make the cheer squad.

I immediately spot Heidi in the middle section as she waves at me. I wave her back and come to her direction.

"Hey Heidi," I greeted her as I hug her, "How are you?"

"Hey Tweekie Bird," Heidi greeted me as well, "I'm doing good. What about you?"

"I tutored Lisa Berger after school at the library for her homework, made Karen, Ike, Dougie, and Tricia lunch, and helped David run his family's restaurant," I tell her how Tricia, Karen, Ike, Dougie, and David are left to take care of themselves because of their parents busy in the Buddha box, "I also helped Butters and Scott Malkinson on their project."

"That's great of you to do anything else! I told you that you're more than just Craig's boyfriend."

"Yeah, I am proud of you, Tweek!" I turned to see Butters and Scott.

"Hey Butters and Scott, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I am here to thank you for helping me and Scott on our project about the book, The Outsiders."

"Yeah, it is nice of you to help us on our project, Tweek," Scott interjected, "You're the only person who is nice to me besides Butters."

"You're welcome, Butters and Scott," I smile at them both admiringly and regrettably. Butters and Scott are the sweetest out of the guys. They didn't deserve being treated badly by everybody in school. I wish I could've apologized to Butters for the bad things I did to him; fail to defend him against Cartman.

"By the way, good luck on cheerleading tryouts!" He and Scott give me a thumb-up alongside Heidi.

No one's point of view

The whistle blares in the school gym to indicate the girls and Tweek to line up to audition for the spot in the cheer team. Every girl and Tweek are lined and called by last names. To Tweek's surprise, the Raisin girls have last names besides Lexus Martin such as Mercedes Bradshaw Porsche Hargensen, Heather Thompson, and Ferrari Clark. But he shrugs it off since nobody actually cares about the Raisins girls. He bets ten or twenty bucks that they didn't make it to the cheer team.

Tweek's point of view

I watch them do their auditions. Some did phenomenal to put me in shame; some did decently. Others didn't do well. I do feel bad for the other girls because they put their best efforts out to the cheer captain, judges, and the coach. The Raisin girls are no exceptions considering how they did their whore dances in front of them. One of the judges looks like he is about to have an orgasm and he's older than my dad and Stan's dad. Please tell me why the hell they hired him?

"Um…ahem," the cheer captain cleared her throat out, "That's very interesting… Tweek Tweak, you're up!"

I quickly come to the center where she, judges, and the coach are facing at me as she calls my name up. The horny judge gives me a weird look at me before another one nudges him. I guess he never sees a boy trying out cheerleading. I pick up the pom-poms from a chair. Tweek, you can do it! Do what Haidi taught you! Do what you've worked for!

"We are Cows, proud and true! Count on South Park, moo moo moo! Gooo Cows!" I chanted, shaking these pom-poms left and right and punching them up and down in the air.

Cue the music! (Song #5: "Finesse" by Bruno Mars ft Cardi B)

"5, 6, 7,8!" counting to the beat, I did a back handspring twice and back tuck once to land my feet on the ground. I twirl around as I grab the pom-poms on the ground.

No one's point of view

Tweek busts the moves as he did at the gym, letting his body flow to the beat. He tumbles, cartwheels, kicks, and did the spread eagle. Everything he dances is fresh, lively, and sharp. Everybody in the gym is mind-blown at the boy's movements. They never expected someone like Tweek to bring something amazing to the tryout. When the music comes to a finish, he hinges his leg and strikes a pose.

"Woah! Go Team!" he cheers with a genuine smile on his face, rattling the pom-poms in the air.

Everybody is shocked to erupt the gym a standing ovation to the blonde boy. Scott whistle loudly with his fingers at him.

"Yeah, Tweek!" Butters holler out loud.

"You go, Tweekie Bird!" shrilled Heidi.

Tweek's point of view

I am feeling so ecstatic to give my shot to try out for cheerleading. First is the audition for the talent show and now, cheerleading tryouts! I show them the real side of me. I show them I can be more than just 'Craig's boyfriend.' Why put up with Cartman, Craig, and everybody else? I prove them wrong I can be strong and independent. I don't give a crap what people says or thinks of me for a long time.

"He's a spaz!"

"Freak show!"

"Why can't he be normal"  
"Ew, he drinks coffee all the times!"  
"Dude, we can't work with this kid!"

Knock me however you want! Suck it, Cartman, Craig, and all these fucking Buddha Boxes! Because I am Tweek Tweak! Not Craig's boyfriend nor a spaz! Tweek Tweak!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I put numerous throwbacks to the previous episodes and seasons of South Park in this fanfiction!
> 
> Tweek
> 
> Outfit #1 (Sunshine): light yellow halter top, chambray over shoulder top, white leather high-waisted jeans, and white booties with a holographic belt, a cute gold sun necklace and a pearl denim choker.
> 
> Makeup #1: Lovelight lipstick, Interrogate lipliner, Cake Batter and Frosting eyeshadows, Peach Primrose blush, rose gold metallic eyeliner, mascara, and Kiss Blowout, Pixie lashes
> 
> Outfit #2 (Sporty Cutie): Yellow bunny oversized hooded crop top, white and yellow spandex shorts, and yellow and white sneakers with white pom-poms and sky-blue and white socks.
> 
> Makeup #2: None
> 
> Outfit #3 (Cheerleading tryout): green and black short-sleeved baseball tees, black and white spandex shorts, and white tennis shoes with white socks.
> 
> Makeup #3: Backtalk lipstick, Rush lipliner, Duchess eyeshadow, Espresso eyeliner, and waterproof mascara
> 
> *I have links down below to show that I don't own the makeups. The makeups belong to the companies who made them.
> 
> Urban Decay  
> Vice Lipsticks
> 
> WinkyLux
> 
> collections/eyes/products/sugar-kitten-palette?variant=8316163555423
> 
> products/so-extra-mascara
> 
> collections/eyes/products/kittenshadow?variant=32332592326
> 
> Ulta
> 
> metallic-eyeliner?productId=xlsImpprod17451073
> 
> flower-pots-powder-blush?productId=xlsImpprod17531283
> 
> smudge-stick-waterproof-eyeliner?productId=xlsImpprod2110047
> 
> lights-camera-splashes-waterproof-mascara?productId=xlsImpprod2430023


	5. Valentine's Day Sucks!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the song or anything else. The song, "Thank You, Next" belongs to Ariana Grande.

Chapter 5: Valentine's Day Sucks!

Tweek's point of view

2019 sucks! Valentine's Day sucks! Today is supposed to be a special day where love is in the air and people spend times with their soulmates. But no! Cartman has to fuck Valentine's Day up for everybody! Because of him and the Buddha Boxes, people are in their fucking phones! It's no surprise that every store closed on Valentine's Day while I'm here in the coffee shop working my ass/booty off! Un-fucking-believable! Great, I just throw the baked goods my parent brought them from the store away to make them from scratch for nothing! I even started grinding the fricking coffee beans in the fucking coffee machines! But hey, the coffee shop is a lot better than a certain somebody's house; thank god I dumped his ass! Should I be at home crying and binge-watching rom-com or sad movies?! Hell no, I am fucking better than this! I know how to get my shits together unlike certain somebodies! I'm not anyone's boyfriend, so do I have a ring on my finger!? Hell fucking no! I'm fucking done with guys anymore! You know who else is done with guys or girls stomping on people's heart!? Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, Torrance Shipman from Bring It On, and Bridget Jones from the Bridget Jones movies. Sure, they have their hearts broken in pieces by these jerks, but they find someone better than them in the end.

Look on the bright side, Tweek. At least you have times to try new recipes for Valentine's Day. That will your mind off of what's pissing you off. Second, there are people I know who deserve a valentine than these jackasses including Heidi, Token, Jimmy, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and the rest who are not in a Buddha Box. I can make them cupcakes, edible fruit arrangements, and drinks. Also, Butters told me about Scott's diabetes, so I think I can find something I can make for him without killing him. What if I put him in a coma!? What if he dies?! I don't want him to die because of me! Time to get some ingredients!

No one's point of view

Tweek take off, fold, and place his apron on the counter and turn off the lights. Flipping the sign over from 'open' to 'closed' on the door, he exits out and locked the door with his key. He swears if he left the coffee shop unlocked and unattended, the place will be robbed or worse! He brisks to the street to go to an organic supermarket. Heidi told him about the fruits and vegetables, dairy, and everything in the store are fresh from the farm without any pesticides or preservatives. He zooms in the market to grab and pay for everything he needs. Chocolates of all kinds, fruits, berries, vanilla beans, edible flowers, and other ingredients for baked goods and drinks. He carries bags of groceries to the coffee shop.

Tweek's point of view

I rush into the kitchen in the back to preheat the oven. Placing the bags of ingredients from the organic market, I rush to gather bowls, rolling pins, mixers, whisks, piping bags, skewers, knives, rubber spatula, baking pans, cupcake tins, cookie scoop, and measuring cups and spoons. What should I start with? Let's start with the cupcakes first and then fruit baskets. Maybe making drinks would buy me times to bake these pastries. I'm thinking of 'cherry and cinnamon mocha,' 'vanilla peppermint bark espresso,' 'iced rose and lavender latte,'dark chocolate velvet frappuccino,' 'dark chocolate and mint cappuccino,' 'caramel apple cinnamon macchiato,' and 'chilli pepper triple chocolate frappuccino.' Because cupcakes take 15-20 minutes or more if I can make something for Scott, I put the fruits and berries in the fridge.

No one's point of view

Tweek works through the bones combining and stirring the ingredients together to make the batter of different flavors. Dark chocolate, vanilla, and red velvet. He even did zucchini and carrot ones for Scott. Out of boredom, he hums and dances to the song he sang in the audition for the school's talent show. Placing cupcakes tins on all cupcake pans, he adds some cooking spray all over the pans and tins. He then scoops the batter into these tins one by one. As he put the pans into the oven, he moves on to making the frostings both sugar and sugar-free and syrups for the drinks from scratch. He rewrites down the menu on the board for the new drinks:

'Sweetheart' for 'vanilla peppermint bark espresso'

'Single Forever' for 'dark chocolate velvet frappuccino'

'Mr. Right' for 'dark chocolate and mint cappuccino'

'Heartbreaker' for 'cherry and cinnamon mocha'

'Handsome Devil' for 'chilli pepper triple chocolate frappuccino'

'The Apple of Tweekie's Eyes' for caramel apple cinnamon macchiato'

'Beautiful Nightmares' for the 'iced lavender latte'

'Sweet Dreams' for the 'iced rose latte'

These new drinks grab the attention of people coming to his coffee shop. Most of them are singles. Tweek expects them with their Buddha Boxes. He assumes nobody else bothers to come to his coffee shop. At the same time, he figures out that they come to his coffee shop because of their partners with their Buddha Boxes or they have nothing to do on Valentine's Day. He feels sorry for them since he can relate to his situation with his old flame thanks to Cartman and the Buddha Boxes.

The timer rings for the cupcakes to be taken out of the oven and chill on the cooling rack. He moves to chop up the fruits into hearts, flowers, leaves, stars, and moons; inserting them through skewers. He is proud of himself for slicing strawberries and tiny mangoes into roses much to his pitifulness. In fact, he did it without silting himself! He put them in the fridge and switches his focus on the cupcakes to take them on the counter. He ices them one by one at a time into roses. He garnishes them in ganaches, edible flowers, berries, and caramel.

As for Scott's, he takes extra care of them with some nuts on the carrot cupcakes and dark chocolate pearls on the zucchini cupcakes. The aroma of vanilla bean, cream cheese, chocolate, fruits, berries, and cupcake batters fill the kitchen to uplift the blonde boy. He put the bowls in the sink and cleans the kitchen until there are no spots left.

Tweek's point of view

The cupcakes look scrumptious to pack them in small boxes with notes I've written. As for the fruits, I position them in pots and ornate tissue papers. One, two, three, four, … Until I finish up to about fourteen arrangements. I search and take my phone to check the time. It is 5:59 pm?! Oh crap, I need to deliver them right now! There are so much stuff to carry! Wait, I remember I have a delivery bag and a big box. I carefully put the boxes of cupcakes in the delivery bad and the fruit arrangements in the bog box. Man, how can I carry these two without ruining them?! What if I can't make it on time?! What if it's too late?! I'm too young to die! Suck it up, Tweek! Do it for them! Do it for Valentine's Day! Even if I take it back about Valentine's Day!

No one's point of view

Tweek closed down the coffee shop and head out to the neighborhood to deliver the cupcakes and fruit arrangements on foot. Token (the coffee shop is near his house and he texts him about the cupcakes and fruit arrangements), Heidi, Bebe, Wendy, Jason, Dougie, Jimmy, Craig (he knocks on the door and surprise Tricia with these homemade gifts), Kenny, David (he goes to his restaurant and leave them outside to knock the door), Dougie, Scott, Butters and Kyle. The final destination is Stan's house which is in Tegridy Farm takes him an hour or so to get the job done. He scans the time on his phone. It is 6:45 pm!

Tweek's point of view

My job here is done from now on. My feet are killing me from so much walking to deliver them to my friends. The best part about this day is that I get to do something for them on this holiday called Valentine's Day. I feel proud to put my times and efforts to make and give them love on Valentine's Day; I want to see the looks on their faces when they see the gifts made from me. One thing I didn't know is that Stan lives in a weed farm instead of the neighborhood next to Kyle. Until Kyle told me where Stan's house is. Hmm... I wonder why. As I stride my way back to the town of South Park, I feel a drop of drizzle on my face. Oh crap, it's raining! Can this day sucks?! Then again, I am the only one without a special someone, so I guess Valentine's Day sucks even more!

I hurry to a nearby diner to take a seat at the corner. To give no fucks about Valentine's Day and mend my broken heart, I order chili cheese fries, a bacon cheeseburger with a side of fried calamari (extra garlic and cheese), spicy chicken Caesar salad with avocado, fettuccine alfredo with extra garlic, and iced cold water. What? I'm heartbroken because of Cartman and the Buddha Boxes, so I deserve this 'feast' fit for a queen. Are you calling me fat?! Gah, don't fucking judge me and shits like that! To complete my mood on Valentine's Day, the diner is playing my favorite song: "Thank U, Next" by Ariana Grande.

While enjoying a lovely meal alone in this diner, I glare at the lovey-dovey couples. I feel like a third wheel to put my head down in shame to sniffle and cry. It hurts to be around them with their PDA, cheesy romantic gestures and conversations, roses and flowers, and other shits. What's next, marriage proposals?

Cause his name is Tweekie  
And I'm so good with that

He taught me love

He taught me patience  
He handles pain  
He's so amazing

Through the tears I shred out of my eyes, I slowly smile at the words in the song. Why feeling salty and bitter for myself because of him and them? Who loves me now? The answer is right in front of me the whole time. The only person who deserves love the most is me and only me. Why love someone else who never love me back when I fail to give love to the only person: myself. I love me for me inside and out and I should be grateful for myself.

I got so much love  
Got so much patience  
I've learned from the pain

I turned out amazing  
I've loved and I've lost  
But that's not what I see  
'Cause look what I've found (yeah, yeah)  
Ain't no need for searching  
And for that, I'll say

Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next

I'm so fucking grateful for my ex  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
Yeah, yee  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: I’m sorry about the late publish especially if Valentine’s Day is already over.  
> Outfit #1 (Fuck You, Valentine): Deep plum off shoulder sweater top, black faux leather skirt, black ripped lace tights, and purple boots with dark red knee-length socks, dog collar choker, red big hairbow, and black fingerless gloves.  
> Makeup #1 (Fuck You, Valentine): Shame lipstick, Venom lipliner, Whiplash and Addict eyeshadows (smokey eyes), Keep It Currant eyeliner, Lash Couture Faux Mink, Little Black Dress, Voluminous Lash Paradise Primer, Lillium blush, and Transcendence highlighter.  
> Fragrance #1 (Fuck You, Valentine): Tease Rebel Fragrance Mist  
> *I have links down below to show that I don't own the makeups. The makeups belong to the companies who made them.  
> Urban Decay  
> Vice Lipstick  
> https://www.urbandecay.com/aphrodisiac-eyeshadow-palette-urban-decay/ud913.html  
> Mac Cosmetics  
> https://www.maccosmetics.com/product/13838/1250/Products/Makeup/Eyes/Eyeliner/Liquidlast-Liner?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIzOvGgorQ4AIVkLXACh0w2AJMEAQYASABEgLZT_D_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds  
> Ulta  
> https://www.ulta.com/lash-couture-faux-mink-little-black-dress?productId=xlsImpprod17721167  
> https://www.ulta.com/voluminous-lash-paradise-primer?productId=xlsImpprod18451189  
> Stila  
> https://www.stilacosmetics.com/convertible-color/S002.html  
> https://www.stilacosmetics.com/heavens-hue-highlighter/SB900.html?dwvar_SB900_color=Transcendence&cgid=highlighting#start=5  
> Victoria’s Secret  
> https://www.victoriassecret.com/beauty/mists/tease-rebel-fragrance-mist?ProductID=401308&CatalogueType=OLS


	6. Mystery Guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: sexual harassment and suggestive languages/contents!

Chapter 6: Mystery Guy

Warning: sexual harassment and suggestive languages/contents!

No one's point of view

"One time on Instagram, I saw Tweek wears an oversized sweater and thigh-high boots, so I wear an oversized sweater and thigh-high boots," said a girl with curly red hair and freckles who is wearing a baby-blue oversized sweater, galaxy leggings, and metallic purple thigh-high boots.

"I heard that Tweek broke up with Craig, so I broke up with Clyde," Lisa Berger stated.

"Tweek looks so gorgeous! My brother, Craig, is an idiotic fuckboy for letting him go over a Buddha box," commented Tricia to Karen.

"True and he made cupcakes and fruit arrangements for me and my brother on Valentine's Day," she tells Tricia.

"I want to know what's his secret for his body and skin," inquired Islah, squealing with Teresa.

"Tweek is so thoughtful for giving me a fruit arrangement and these sugar-free cupcakes on Valentine's Day," grinned Scott.

"I saw Tweek k-kills the a-a-audition with Ariana G-G-Grande's 'Thank You, N-N-N-Next'," stammered Jimmy, flashing his signature smile.

"I can't believe Tweek turns out better without Craig ever since Cartman started the 'Buddha box,'" Stan tells his super best friend, Kyle.

"Come to think of it, Tweek becomes a different person. He is breaking the ice to become a social butterfly who can stand on his own two feet," Kyle pointed out.

"He even made these Valentine's Day gifts for all of us. Except for Cartman for obvious reason! Aka Valentine's Day ruiner!" Kenny points at Cartman who is still in the Buddha box. Yep, Cartman is the one who fucked up Valentine's Day for everybody else.

"Agree," Token nods his head, "I got to hand it to Tweek because he did save Valentine's Day with these cupcakes and fruit arrangements he made. Thanks to him, I get to share them with Nichole. Aside from that, he takes care of us when our parents didn't give a damn about us at all."

"Hey fellas, guess what? Tweek made it to the cheer squad!" Butters addresses the news to the gang.

"What?! How do you know about Tweek's in the cheer squad?!" Stan inquires at the news of one of his friends in the cheer squad.

"I overheard Tweek's conversation with Heidi that he found his name on the list to see who made the cheer team," Butters notifies the gang.

Cartman lets out his usual pestering snickers, "Tweek's in cheerleading?! Gay! Cheerleading is for chicks! And here Tweek is now awesome and kewl! In anyone's dreams!"

"Look who's talking!" Kyle confronts his fat, manipulative, selfish, and insufferable frenemy. He remembers the shenanigans Cartman pulled in the past involving cross-dressing, "At least Tweek knows how to get his shits together unlike certain somebodies."

Token scowls at the chubby bigot called his classmate and "friend." Thanks to him, his parents and two of his friends completely didn't pay him attention. The only people he can turn to are Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Butters, Jimmy, David, and Tweek. Additionally, Tweek must assume and take on the role of a mother figure to the boys, Tricia, Ike, Dougie, and Karen when all of their parents do is being on their Buddha boxes 24/7.

"Yeah nice one, fatass!" he muttered out to Cartman.

"Whatever Kahl. Screw you guys, I'm going to where I can't be bothered by you making my anxiety worst!" Cartman walks away from Kyle, Stan, Kenny, and Butters to go someplace else to deal with his "anxiety." They all roll their eyes at Cartman out of vexation.

"Hey guys," the five boys turn around to see Tweek who is wearing a pink chiffon short dress wrapped in a lavender ribbon, mauve sweater, and lavender ballet flats.

"Tweek, congratulation on making it to the cheer squad!" Butters claps for Tweek who is blushing.

"Oh, it's no big deal," Tweek softly smiles at Butters.

"Tweek, I want you to say thank you for the gifts you made on Valentine's Day," appreciated Kyle. "And I'm sorry about Craig, Cartman, and Buddha box."

"Same here," interjected Stan, "I saw you walking in the rain after you deliver these gifts at my door. Are you okay?"

"Hey, no problem. Kyle, I'm sorry how you put up with him the whole time," Tweek reassures Kyle as his smile saddens slightly at the mention of Craig, "I'm done with Cartman's bullshits. And Stan, of course, I'm okay."

"Eh, you and I are on the same boat when it comes to him," Kyle shrugged it off.

"Same here," Token included.

"Tweek, you look divine today," Kenny takes and kisses Tweek's hand, wiggling his eyebrows at him. As a bonus, he leans and embraces close to him to smell him, "My, my, Tweek, did you fell down from heaven because you look and smell like an angel."

"Thanks?" Tweek is stunned and flustered at Kenny's flattery. Should he be fancied by him? He looks at Stan and Kyle who are cringing at Kenny's "tangible" flirting and Butters in a weird look, "Umm... I should go because I need to go grab something in my locker."

As Tweek leaves, Stan nudges his orange parka friend on the arm, "Dude, what the hell did you do?! You make Tweek fucking uncomfortable!"

"Oh god," Token facepalms at Kenny's evident attempt to toy with Tweek, "I hope Tweek is okay, so I better go check up on him."

"Yeah Kenny, there is no way you can make a move on Tweek," suggested Kyle, "Besides, 'did you fell down from heaven because you look and smell like an angel' is really cheesy as fuck and getting old really fast. Second, don't treat Tweek like an object!"

"I mean you will face the wrath and lifetime of ass-beatings from Craig for trying to get Tweek in your pant, Kenny," added Butters. Even the innocent Butters knows what he is talking. Say to the boy who shows off his weiner to everybody at school during the 'Skankhunt' episode. He even the biggest weiner by 2.4 inches.

"Hey! Tweek broke up with Craig because of the fatass with his Buddha box and his anxiety bullshits, so technically he's single and free. So technically, Tweek isn't Craig's anymore," Kenny backs off, putting his hands up in the air in protest.

Tweek's point of view

I can't believe Kenny of all people! Fucking Kenny! He has the balls to woo me like every other guy! Ugh, Boys and men these days! All they want from me is to fulfill their sick desires and fantasies! They see me as just a fucking pretty face! I remembered one time some douchebag hitting on me at the gym; I hear a conversation between two guys about me in the locker room.

~Flashback at the gym's locker room~

"Check it out on the blonde cutie, bro!"

"Damn bro, he got this juicy, sweet ass!"

"I want to grind and bang on that peach of his!"

"I want to ride him until I make him moan and scream louder!"

~Flashback ends~

I shake these horrible thoughts and images off of my mind. Thank you next, boys and guys! I twist and turn the combination lock to open my locker and get my stuff for my class. A fresh bouquet of pink, white, red, and purple roses falls out of my lap along with a piece of paper written in black ink cursive. Who put them in my locker? I unfold the letter to read them.

Tweekie,

Your eyes shimmer like the Aurora Borealis

Or the forest at dawn

Your hair is the light to my shadows

Your smile as warm as the sun to my moon

Your voice and laughter, music to my ears

Melts my heart to make a rhythm

Your lips are what I miss touching against mine

You're the person I want to give my heart to

The person I want to protect against bad things

The person I want to hold in the street

Kiss in the rain or anywhere else

The person I love eternally

Your curves and edges

Even if you're crying, I can't resist the beauty of yours

Your beauty is deeper than the cosmos or any galaxies

The person I want to call you mine

My darling, sweetheart, and everything

~ Secret Admirer

I find it sweet and charming of someone being a gentleman to brought me flowers and write me a love letter or poem. Unlike these disgusting, condescending, and arrogant pricks. They think they can take me for a fool to get down and dirty and left me in the dirt. I don't fucking think so! Especially you, Craig and Kenny! Too bad it is from a secret admirer.

"Hey Tweek, I'm sorry about Kenny," Token comes up to me.

"It's okay," I turn to him and walk with him to class.

"Congratulation on being in the cheer team, Tweek."

"No problem, Token. I'll cheer for you, Jason, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny."

No one's point of view

Unbeknownst to Tweek, someone is watching over him: a boy in a blue hat with a yellow puffball on top of his head, blue jacket, black pant, and black sneakers.

~ Time Skips (lunchtime!) ~

"Oh la la Tweekie! Look like you got yourself a secret admirer!" Bebe cooed at me as I give her the letter or poem. She then passes it onto Wendy and to Heidi.

"Hmm... who could he be?" Heidi examines the letter or poem and bouquet of roses, "It can't be Kenny because I know he can't afford this bouquet of roses at a fancy French flower shop." Oh, I forgot to mention how I told Heidi about Kenny's attempt to ruffle my feathers with his 'sexual advances'.

"First, you rock the talent show audition and cheerleading tryout and now you score yourself a cute secret admirer!" cheered Bebe in a singsong voice. Wow, I always thought Clyde is the only person who's an extra to annoy the crap out of everybody.

"How do you know?" I asked Bebe.

"Heidi showed me and Nichole the video of you at the tryout! I never knew you got some moves! You should be confident in yourself!"

"Since you're new in the cheer team, here's what we do in this team," Wendy instructed me, "We have cheer practices on Tuesdays and Thursdays after school at 3:30 pm until 4:45 pm. Usually, there are games on Fridays. We sometimes have cheer competitions and pep rallies on certain days and times."

"For the cheer uniform, you can wear a shirt and shorts or skirt," Heidi informs me, "I have a cheer bow I can give to you for your hair."

"I choose to wear a skirt and I don't give a damn about everybody's bullshits, so fuck all of them!" I said. Bitch please, the new Tweek is already slaying outfits of the days, talent show audition, and the cheerleading tryout; I make it on this team because I work my ass off on it. I even save Valentine's Day from being shitted on or fucked up thanks to this fat weasel!

*insert DJ horn sound effect*

watch?v=Ss7SRjiOCCs

Damn Tweekie, since when you're savage as fuck!" Bebe, Heidi, and I high-five each other.

I nod at Wendy. Cheerleading practices are on Tuesdays and Thursdays and cheering at games is usually on Fridays. At least I don't have to go work at my parent's coffee shop. In fact, if my parents aren't here in the coffee shop, then I've been in the coffee shop for nothing! For nothing! Hey, I have to work in this shop to help my-fucking-self! I'm acting like a single housewife and mother to them when their parents only give a shit that fucking thing over their own children.

Meanwhile, I'm still focused on the roses and love letter or poem. Who could've sent them to me? Sure, I am flattered by them, but should I find another guy or stay single? I don't want to be hurt in the process the way he devastates me. Heck, I'm over being toyed around in the name of love.

My first real break up with him is in a superhero game over the franchise plans between two sides: Coon and Friends and Freedom Pals. Sure, we have petty arguments at the beginning of this division. If wasn't for my dad, we never end up making up and working together as a team at Mr. Mackey's couple counseling by defeating the therapy kids. I eventually realize the mess made by Cartman. Gah! Here goes the 'Cartman show!' Fool me once, shame on me. This time, I'm not going to be fooled twice because of him, him, and them!

Craig's point of view

I'll be damned if Tweek broke up with me! I thought that spending times on the Buddha box is worthwhile for myself on my phone. To be honest, Tweek had been suffocating me with his constant needs and wants.

~ Flashback~

"Don't you wish you had more quality one on one time with your phone" Cartman persuaded me.

"On my phone?"

"I see it in you, Craig. With your parents and relationships? Imagine being able to shut them out for a little while, Craig, so you can focus on what matters. With Buddha Box, you can cut out all the unwanted noise. Not have to deal with conversations that are of no interest to you."

I sighed as I explain to him about my relationship problem with Tweek before he interrupts me by putting his Buddha box back on, "Well, I have to admit: sometimes, when me and Tweek are together it's... it's like he wants my attention."

~ Flashback ends~

Having some alone time for myself on my phone is satisfying. Scratch that, was satisfying. The freedom from my time on my phone recently wears me down. I feel sluggish and grouchy from not getting enough sleep; I get after-school detentions for being late to school (Like I care about going to school). My head hurts as fucking hell that I can't concentrate on anything. It is my fault for neglecting Stripes! Worst of all, it's awfully too quiet and boring. Something or someone is missing in my life: Tweek.

I haven't talked to him for who knows how many days, weeks, or months. From what I heard from Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Token, Jimmy, Butters and my own sister, Tricia, I never knew what Cartman's Buddha box idea do to my Tweekie. He is now relaxed, self-reliable, and confident. I get to see his lovable smile. Hearing his cute laughter gives me butterflies in my stomach to let out a sigh. He looks like a precious doll or angel in girls' clothing and makeups. I saw what Kenny did to Tweek with his kiss on the hand, eyebrow wiggling, taking him close to whiff him, and lame pickup-line. I'm going to beat the shit out of him for it! I mean if I saw Tweek in tight skirts, dresses, and pants, then I would be turned on! I enjoy the view of his ass! His ass is voluptuously large and perky that I, myself, want to touch or have on my lap! Yep. I, Craig Tucker, am an ass man for my Tweekie.

It's not like I steal one of the cupcakes (made by Tweek) from Tricia on Valentine's Day. Or how I check him out on Instagram and start liking his pictures. Or the fact I'm the one who knows the code to his locker to put the bouquet of roses brought from a French flower shop and love letter or poem I wrote for him. Do I miss him? Did I make a mistake of letting him go so easily?

Who am I kidding? Without Tweek on my side, I feel somewhat both guilty and empty. My universe is nothing than the stars and sun. I need Tweek! I want him back!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I put throwbacks on the previous episodes and seasons of South Park and the video game, The Fractured But Whole. I also did a reference to one of the scenes from the movie, Mean Girls.
> 
> Outfit #1 (Princess of Instagram): tan oversized choker sweater, white shorts, white fishnet stockings, and burgundy brown thigh-high boots with a plain white over the knee socks, two gold hair ties (Tweek's hair is styled in two messy buns), white corset belt, white-gold butterfly bracelet, and white pearl chain bracelet.
> 
> Makeup #1 (Princess of Instagram): Rust lipstick, Sienna and Rustic eyeshadows (natural), and Incandescence highlighter
> 
> Outfit #2 (New Romantic): pink chiffon short dress wrapped in a lavender ribbon, mauve sweater, and lavender ballet flats with pink and mint hair bow clips, star choker, silver angel wings necklace, and pastel pony bead bracelet.
> 
> Makeup #2 (New Romantic): Dusty Mauve lipstick, Buon Fresco and Love Letter eyeshadows (classic), and Opulence highlighter
> 
> Fragrance #2: Heavenly Fragrance Mist
> 
> *Links below for the makeups which belong to the companies who made them
> 
> Anastasia Beverly Hills
> 
> soft-glam-eyeshadow-palette?productId=xlsImpprod17841007
> 
> matte-lipstick?productId=xlsImpprod16451255
> 
> modern-renaissance-eyeshadow-palette?productId=xlsImpprod14291015
> 
> Stila
> 
> heavens-hue-highlighter?productId=xlsImpprod15311013
> 
> Victoria's Secret
> 
> beauty/mists/heavenly-fragrance-mist?ProductID=267423&CatalogueType=OLS


	7. Sad Song and the Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own the songs or anything else. The songs “The Middle” belongs to Zedd and Maren Morris and “Consequences” belongs to Camila Cabello.  
> Warning: Sexual harassment, trauma, suggestive contents/languages, and graphic scenes!

Chapter 7: Sad Song and the Nightmare

No one's point of view

~ At the school gym~

Tweek and the rest of the girls who made it to the cheer squad are seated in the bleachers. They are given directions and safety within this team. Beginning to understand what to do, they went through warmups, jumps, tumbles, and other drills in cheerleading. Tweek is familiar with some of the moves Heidi showed him. However, there are new techniques he has troubles with, so Nichole provided pointers on how to do it.

"It takes time to get it, so don't be discouraged. Don't second guess yourself. It is only the first day," Nichole inspired him. Thanks to her, he tells himself, 'She's right, I can do it! I'm never giving up!' Sticking to his words, he persisted on applying corrections to the complicated techniques again and again.

"5, 6, 7, 8!" counted Wendy, the cheer captain, as she demonstrated the moves and chant to her cheerleading comrades.

"We are green, black and white! We are proud! We are true! We never hold back! We are here to show you what we got! Go Cows!" they intonated in sync.

~ Time skips (until 4:45 pm)~

"That's a wrap, everybody!" Wendy announced, "We'll continue this on Thursday! Do your best and don't give up!"

"Here are the cheerleading uniforms for you, Tweek," Heidi handed her blonde friend a neatly folded black, white, and dark green clothing. It looks new and fresh; not the old, smelly hands-me-down. "We have someone making these uniforms. By the way, I know you have a small waist, but a big booty. So, you're a size small for the shirt and skirt."

"Oh thanks, Heidi," blessed Tweek though he is slightly bashful of her mentioning him having a 'big booty.'

As Heidi and the girls are putting their things in their bags and leave to go home, Tweek goes to the opposite way to the gym. He knows that he dreads going to that place because of what happened with him and random guys; he has no choices on what place to go to practice his cheerleading.

Entering the gym, he signs up at the front desk and goes to the room. At the room, he first-handed does some warm-ups and stretches including ten pushups, sit-ups, lunges, squats, and miscellaneous workouts. It is excruciating to the point where he wants to take a nap. But he can't give up, so he must suck it up and deal with the pain. No pain, no gain!

He goes to a treadmill to do some jogging. Then, he presses the button to pick up the pace; he did get into a fiery competition with one or two people to see who can run on the treadmill the fastest or something. He could care less if he intentionally or unintentionally challenges them to a treadmill face-off.

'Bitch please, I run this shit like cardio! Fact!' he smirks at them and did his hair flip as if he imagines them as the Buddha boxes, Cartman, and Craig. In fact, he did remember the civil war between him and Craig over the franchise plan. Sadly, Craig defeated him, 'Ha! Take that, Buddha boxes, Cartman, and Craig! I'm slaying the game, so I give them a run for their money!'

He stops the treadmill to go to the next station which is where they have all of the equipment. Unfortunately, he feels a hand smack on his booty on his way. He darts to see one guy older than him giving him a wink and sadistic smile.

"Tight ass, sweetheart," his comment left Tweek blushing like a tomato. Tweek, bothered and enraged, is about to open his mouth to say something, but somehow stay quiet and submissive. He hesitates as his mind rings to the previous comments made from other guys he heard. Not to mention, how Kenny acted toward him in a similar manner at school. He wants to shrug it off, yet he feels a sense of something else.

'It is okay when Heidi comments me on my booty. With guys, on the other hand, it is weird,' he internalizes, 'Should I be okay with it?'

In the next station, he sets up some equipment to do tumbles, handsprings, backbend, heel stretches, and other acro exercises. He wants to make sure that he gets it better, so he practices them over again and again. His legs and arms are burning like a thousand of suns and as wobbly as jello to take a break.

Tweek's point of view

Cheerleading is a lot of work! I'm sweating and burning up to thousands of degrees! My legs and arms are hurting like hell! What if I have muscle cramps?! What if I dislocate my shoulder?! Or sprain my ankle?! I don't want to break bones or bleed out! I'm too young to die!

Catching my breath and wolf down some water and coffee, it's time for me to work on the choreography; I put all of the equipment away. I turn on some music on my phone and get into position.

~ Cue the music! (Song #1: "The Middle" by Zedd ft. Maren Morris)

"5, 6, 7, 8!" I count down to the beat to start his choreography. I glide agilely and energetically along the music with my body. I also infuse gymnastics and cheerleading moves into my dance. The way I light up his feet and having fun by twirling, flipping, and streaming with a smile on my face mirror the same fire. The same fire I had with Heidi in this place and at the cheer tryout.

So why don't you meet me

In the middle, In the middle, middle

As the song comes to the end, I finish off with a backflip split! Last, but not least: the cheer chant

"We are green, black and white! We are strong! We are brave! Come South Park fight, fight, fight! Go cows moo moo moo!" I shouted out as I did the bow-and-arrow motion left and right, low v, dagger, and high v, "C-O-W-S! Let's go cows, let's go!"

"Green, black and white! We are proud! We are true! We never hold back! We are here to show you what we got! Go Cows!" I clap along with the chant and punching my left fist in the air. In the end, I did a tuck jump, "Go team!"

I go toward my bag to check my phone. It is 6:50 pm?! Damn, how long I've been practicing?! I need to go home ASAP! As soon as possible! I grab my bag, pay the front desk with a $20-dollar bill, and exit out of the gym. It is dark outside with the exception of street lights. Oh man, it is scary as fuck! What if there are a bunch of dangerous people trying to mug or kill me?! Sure, I went to the gym from school by myself; getting home at night is a different story! Tweek, put your panties on and let's go home because there is no time to centralize my anxiety and who knows what! Gulping my fear and anxiety down my throat, I willingly stride through the streets. Should I be concerned, right? No, keep going! I am pretty sure that it's just only me, myself, and I and nobody else.

While walking, I feel someone's footsteps behind me. Should I look back or keep going? I peek slightly back only to see a silhouette of what I can try to assume. Maybe it was someone larger than me. Should I be intimidated by this person? Nah, maybe it is either just my imagination or something else. Of course, I can hear my heart pumping in the chest and the sensation of goosebumps!

I turn on my back once more to see this person 'catching up to me.' Holy shit! Is this person following me or something?! I don't want to end up dead somewhere else! Or have my body mutilated and thrown into a ditch or lake! Or worse! Sticking to these uncomfortable thoughts in my mind, I waste no time but make a run for it! Run, Tweek, run! Run like the wind! It horrifies the shit out of me that I have to hold my urge to scream. I never ran this fast in my entire life! My legs are going soft and numb like marshmallows. I can feel my feet excruciating to have scars, blisters, corns, or plantar warts!

Once I made it to my house, I turn the knob to find out it is locked. Oh wait, I forgot that I have the keys the whole time. I open and dig through my bag to hear tiny jiggling metallic sounds. I insert the key into the door hole and open the door at an instant. Shutting the door down behind me, I bolt the door solid shut. Fuck, there is the back door in the kitchen, so I rush to the kitchen to inspect the back door. To my relief, it is sealed completely. Phew! I need a nice warm bath because 1) I smell like the men's locker room and 2) I need to calm myself down after this incident which I'll be scarred for life!

But first, I open the fridge to grab two bottles of the lavender and rose lattes I made yesterday and chug them down. The floral and fragrant flavors from the flowers mix with the delicious coffee ease me to the core. Putting the two empty bottles in the recycling can, I grab my bag and go upstairs to my room. I set my bag down on the floor next to my bed to take out my phone. I get my pajamas and goes to the bathroom.

I fill the bathtub with hot water and a bath bomb which frizzles into a rosy pink hue. I submerge myself in the homely, aromatic tub where I did my little spa and bathe in sweet-scented soaps and shampoos. I drained the water down after finishing my mini 'boujee' bath. I puts on a dark green mini babydoll and black robe with pockets to stuff my phone inside; walk towards the bathroom sink to brush my teeth and apply toner and cleansing lotion on my face, neck, and shoulders.

Returning to my room, I dive down to his bed. I reach to grasp my backpack for my pencil and homework. Ugh! So much homework! To keep myself busy, I plug my earbuds in my laptop and turns on my music. Without Craig, I guess I gain various interests in music genres such as modern pop, R&B, and EDM.

~2 or 3 ½ hours later~

Phew, I'm fried from so many homework! English, social studies, math, and science! It is too much pressure! What if I fail?! I don't want to be held back in the fourth grade! Or be the oldest person to stay in the fourth grade! Or having to live in the street to sell my body to some creeps and pervs! The one thing to calm me down is music. Especially Camila Cabello's song called Consequences. Her song is the most beautiful of all because of the piano's melody and how it relates to me when it comes to my heartbreak to someone I know. I have anxiety today thanks to the person who's following me at the night I was about to walk home from the gym. Without a doubt, I can't believe a certain someone who chooses that thing over me; look who got nearly killed from walking home at night alone. Because of that experience, I learn to be cautious of myself from now on.

Camila's Consequences is perfect for the talent show! Oh no, I forgot about the talent show! I check my phone to see it is 10:45 pm. Tomorrow is Friday and oh god! I put my completed homework in my backpack, charge my phone to an outlet, and endeavor to sleep through the night. Every time I close my eyes, I have these uneasy hunches on the unknown person coming after me to harm me. I even wake up to the mental picture of this person breaking in my house to kill me and my parents. Though it is all in my head, it has me shuddering to curl myself in a ball and cry.

~The next day~

"Woah Tweek, you look very tired," Token raises his eyebrow at me concerningly, "Also, you look really pale today, so I got something for you."

He hands me a granola bar which I take and opens it up to eat my "breakfast".

"Oh, thanks Token," I give him a small smile and "tell" him, "I'm just beat from homework and stuff." I let out an awkward laugh. Indeed, I didn't want to inform Token about yesterday's "incident." I close my locker and trudges away to his class. If by means of trudging to class, I mean waddling like a penguin from both the treadmill and running from some creepy person.

No one's point of view

"What's up with Tweek?" Kyle asked Token, looking at him curiously.

"I don't know, but Tweek looks like he's going to burn out. He needs a break," Token voices out his regard.

~Time skips (school dismissed) ~

Loving you was sunshine, safe and sound

A steady place to let me my defenses

But loving you had consequences

Hesitation, awkward conversations

Running on low expectations

Every siren that I was ignoring

I'm paying for it

Loving you was young, wild, and free

Loving you was cool, hot, and sweet

Loving you was sunshine, safe and sound

A steady place to let my defenses

But loving you had consequences

No, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Said, no, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Hey, yeah, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Mm

Loving you was dull, dark, and vain

Loving you will still take shots at me

From loving you was sunshine

But then it poured

And I lost so much more than my senses

Cause loving you had consequences

"Tweek, what are you doing here at the music room? Today's Friday," Tweek turns around to see Strong Woman.

"Just choosing a song for the talent show."

"The talent show is actually next Saturday," appraised Strong Woman, "You should go home and rest."

Tweek gets up from his seat, stuff his lyric sheets in his backpack, and push the seat in. He takes his phone in his pocket, "Thanks, Strong Woman."

"Tweek, are you sure you're okay walking home on your own?"

"Oh, it's okay, Strong Woman," he politely said to the female vice principal.

"All right then."

~Outside of school~

Tweek's point of view

I rush home and lock the door of my room. I am at ease to be home not really late, but I break down in tears on my bed. How can I deal with it?! What if this person who'd followed me at the night I was walking home from the gym is some maniac or something?! Who is this person?!

~ Flashbacks~

"Tight ass, sweetheart."

"Check it out on the blonde cutie, bro!"

"Damn bro, he got this sweet juicy ass!"

"I want to grind and bang that peach of his!"

"I want to ride him until I make him moan and scream louder!"

"Tweek, you look divine," Goddamnit Kenny!

"My, my, Tweek, did you feel down from heaven because you look and smell like an angel," Kenny's voice and gestures by giving me the eyebrows and taking a sniff at me as a pervert pushes me over the edge.

~ Flashbacks end~

Stop it! Get out of my head! I wish they would just go away. Is it my fault for this situation?! What did I do to deserve this?! Is it the way I'm dressed or what?! Is it because I'm a homosexual?! Ugh, why should I be treated like a fucking vibrator to them?! I should've done something better than this! Goddammit Cartman and his Buddha box bullshits! I don't know who should I tell! Should I pretend that this incident never happened in the first place?! Am I safe wherever I go besides school?! What about the coffee shop?! The gym?! What people including my friends might say and think of me if I were to tell them about it?! What am I going to do?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I did a reference to South Park's Fractured But Whole.  
> Tweek
> 
> Outfit 1 (Cheerleader Workout): dark green and black short sleeved shirt, white leggings, and white shoes with white socks  
> Makeup 1: None
> 
> Outfit 2 (Tweekie of the Night): dark green mini babydoll and a black robe with pockets
> 
> Bath Bomb: Sex Bomb (from a company called Lush)  
> https://www.lushusa.com/bath/bath-bombs/sex-bomb/00157.html 
> 
> Outfit #3 (Don't Give a Grunge): dark green flannel oversized shirt dress, black denim bustier, opaque black tights, and black chunky platform heels with a dark grey beanie and two tattoo chokers
> 
> Makeup #3: None


	8. Talent Show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the songs or anything else. The songs, "Consequences" belongs to Camila Cabello and "Sex You Back To Sleep" belongs to Chris Brown. The movie Enchanted is produced by Walt Disney Picture.
> 
> Warning: sexual harassment, graphic scenes, and suggestive languages/contents!

Chapter 8: Talent Show

No one's point of view

"Yeah, the dress is here!" Tweek rips open the cardboard box that has an Amazon logo. The blonde-haired boy clutches on the berry purple long dress, "Let's try it on."

~ 3-5 minutes later ~

Tweek's point of view

"Wow!" I look at myself in the mirror of my bathroom. The dress is classy, stunning, and fits like a glove. I'm like Giselle from Disney's movie, Enchanted. Except with blonde hair and is a boy. Overall, I'm at bliss that the dress looks exactly like the picture. Whoever thought buying a dress online isn't as bad as at the mall. The dresses at the mall are so expensive; I have the same anxiety and distress as last week. I remembered having a hard time breathing, trembling like an earthquake, and hysterically sobbing my eyes out to go back home!

~ Flashbacks~

I went to the fitting room to try on these dresses. As I was undressing, I feel powerful flashing moments of awful images and voices in my mind.

All of these voices resemble guys and men from the gym and of course, Kenny! Worst of all is that I have these nightmares. Nightmares of the same unknown person who followed me last week and these intimidating men and guys with these comments and vile gestures to me. I recall the same unknown person attack behind me on the street, lifting me up to violently kiss and touch me in this nightmare. Oh god, what if this same unknown person is going to kidnap and despoil me?! Or worse?!

"Tight ass, sweetheart."

"Check it out on the blonde cutie, bro!"

"Damn bro, he got this sweet juicy ass!"

"I want to grind and bang that peach of his!"

"I want to ride him until I make him moan and scream louder!"

"Hey baby, you're looking fine today."  
"Damn, I'm liking this view of you!"

"Just wanna ram you in bed until you moan!"

Why they are here in my head?! I don't want to see or hear them! They're freaking me out! Gah, I can't do this! It is too much! Out of sheer panic, I immediately change back into my normal clothes, take the dresses and exit out of the fitting room to return them back to the sale clerk, and leave out of the store and the mall. Again, I spend hours crying in my room until I blacked out thanks to exhaustion.

~ Flashbacks end~

I check my phone to see what time is it. It is 4:45 pm and the talent show starts at 6 pm. I waste no time prepping my makeup, straightening my hair, and putting out shoes and accessories which is a purple and silver hairbow clip, silver butterfly rings, and matching satin long gloves.

~ 45 minutes later ~

Holy shit, I have half an hour to get to the school for the talent show. I run out of the house and to the street like he's on a marathon. Because I'm wearing heels, my feet become sore and my dress is so long that I have to gather the skirt part of my dress up. I finally arrive at the school where I open the door and go to find the door of the auditorium. I continue up on the stage and to backstage where the other participants are getting ready and reciting their performances. I sit down on a chair and go through the lyric sheet, humming to memorize what's written on it. I hear a booming sound of a microphone and Jimmy Valmer's voice.

"W-W-Welcome everybody to S-South Park E-E-Elementary School Tal-Tal-Talent Show," Jimmy announced, "I'm Jimmy and this is Timmy."

"Timmah! Timmy!" Timothy Burch's voice echoed through the microphone.

"In this talent show, we will announce the p-p-performance per part-part-participant and do an award ceremony after the tal-tal-talent show," Jimmy flashes his million bucks smile, "Me and Timmy hope you enjoy this tal-tal-talent show."

~ 6 or 7 performances later~

What if I just froze up on stage?! What if I can't remember the lyrics or sing the wrong words?! Oh god! Suddenly, I hear one of the phrases in a Chris Brown song from one of the performances that go:

Just let me rock

fuck you back to sleep girl

don't say a word no

girl don't you speak

My whole body begins to heat and tense up. My heart is racing at high velocity. My eyes begin to water up as I'm holding my chest with both hands.

My mind whooshes back to the voices and another nightmare. This time, it depicts me on a couch with my wrists bonded by a belt and this same unknown person climbing above me to taking off his pant. What's tearing me apart are the voices uttering out revolting comments to me.

~ Flashbacks ~

"Tight ass, sweetheart."

"Ow, ow, baby got back!"  
"Bang bang, baby!"  
"Look at that peachy ass!"

"Nice legs, pretty boy!"  
"Woah, you have a nice ass, cutie!"

~ Flashbacks end ~

"Tweek, are you okay?" Wendy's voice snaps me out of this torment, "Hey, hey Tweek, here's a paper bag and a bottle of water."

I open the bottle to steadily drink some water; I breathe heavily into a paper bag, watching paper bag inflate and deflate like a balloon. As I mustered my strength to calm myself down, Wendy wraps her arm around me and wipe the tears away with a tissue, "Thanks, Wendy."

"It's okay, Tweek," Wendy hushed me, "Tell me what's wrong?"

"I-I am… scared," I uttered out to Wendy. I feel terrible for lying to her, but I can't tell her about this situation of mine. I mean since the Buddha box episode, nobody cares about me and my issues. Not even my parents and him. Because of it, I'm on my own to deal with my issues.

"There, there Tweek," she hugs me.

"I don't know if I can go on!"

"Tweek, look at me," she cups my face and said, "You got this. You work very hard on this song. Forget about the Buddha box, Cartman, and Craig. Don't psych yourself out and do your best. I'm here for you."

"Up next is Tweek Tweak and he's going to sing "Consequences" by Camila Cabello!"

I look at her and she gives a thumbs-up. Thank you, Wendy, for shielding away the painful reminders. Thank you, Wendy, for giving me courage. Holding my head high, I walk onstage and face toward the audience. There are people I know in the audience such as Heidi, Nichole, Bebe, Butters, Scott, David, Token, Karen, Ike, and Tricia. Of course, Clyde and Craig are here. The music starts to play and I open my word to sing.

Dirty tissues, trust issues

Glasses on the sink, they didn't fix you

Lonely pillows in a stranger's bed

Little voices in my head

Secret keeping, stop the bleeding

Lost a little weight because I wasn't eating

All the songs that I can't listen to,

To tell the truth

Loving you was young, wild, and free

Loving you was cool, hot, and sweet

Loving you was sunshine, safe and sound

A steady place to let down my defenses

But loving you had consequences

Hesitation, awkward conversations

Running on low expectations

Every siren that I was ignoring

I'm paying for it

Loving you was young, wild, and free

Loving you was cool, hot, and sweet

Loving you was sunshine, safe and sound

A steady place to let down my defenses

But loving you had consequences

No, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Said, no, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Hey, yeah, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Mm

Loving you was dull, dark, and vain

Loving you will still take shots at me

From loving you was sunshine

But then it poured

And I lost so much more than my senses

I lost so much more than my senses

so much more than my senses

Cause loving you had consequences

Loving you had consequences

Loving you

The audience applauses as I smile and give them a bow. What's even better is how the burden of anxiety and distress is lifted off of me. I did it! I did it! I did it! I walk backstage and hug Wendy as a return.

"Thank you, Wendy," I tell her.

"Anything for a friend like you, Tweek," I smile at her while still in her embrace. Although, I hate hiding the truth from her, Heidi, or anyone else about my situation and how this situation is why I have a panic attack at the mall and here. How this situation is why I spend my time crying in my room at home. And why I feel trapped.

"Wendy, can I tell you something?"  
"Sure, Tweek. What is it?"

"Umm... oh nothing," I deflated. Nice job, Tweek for holding back.

"I have faith in you, Tweek." Out of the corner of my eyes, I see another bouquet of fresh flowers which are white roses and gardenias and an elegant piece of paper. It must be from my secret admirer!

Can this day be a whole lot better than what I expected?! Stumbling on words, wailing, and other embarrassing things I might do to make a fool of myself?! Focusing on what's put me in a position to crumble?! No, I have good friends by my side! Wendy, Heidi, Bebe, Tricia, Ike, Karen, Butters, Scott, and anyone else I can think of.

I wish someday I'll tell them about my ordeal I'd experienced. If only I have the balls to do so. What if they hate me for it?! What if I'll end up losing them in the process?! I'll be alone or something! I guess it means I must handle my issues on my own.

Wendy's point of view

I feel bad for Tweek right now because I can tell he is not okay. I mean he turns out fine since he broke up with Craig. In fact, he did everything well for himself; cares about everybody. I remembered he made delicious cakes for the bake sale towards building shelters for homeless LGBT. He did awesome in this talent show with a song and is on the cheer team. He shows the fire, tenacity, and spirit in this team; that is what a cheerleader is about. He even steps outside the box when he's dressed in cute outfits and didn't care about everybody's judgments.

On the other hand, I'm worried for him and I hate to see him in a state of a panic attack. Maybe he overworks himself. Or something else. I saw him running out of the store, breathing heavily and quivering tensely with tears on his face; I need to know what's going on. Luckily, I'm glad I come to his aid for his panic attack before it gets worse. It pisses me off that Tweek is now struggling to cope on his own thanks to Craig, Cartman, and the Buddha boxes!

First, he plagiarized his essay back in the third grade to win the essay contest! Second is my presentation on breast cancer awareness! Third, he called me out on the school's morning announcements! Fourth is his "awareness" on suicide just for attention! Fifth is the abuse and manipulation towards Heidi! The last straw is his lies about anxiety and Buddha box crap! Oh, he will get it for sure!

Craig's point of view

I am so happy to see Tweek up onstage. My baby. My honey. The love of my life. He looks like a beautiful princess out there. His angelic singing makes my knees weak to the ground. God, I fucking love him! I love him so much!

"Wow Craig, you are a fucked-up idiot for dumping Tweek for a Buddha box," Clyde tells me, "

"Did so, Lisa Berger broke up with you because of that thing," I retaliated back to him, "Look who's not a ladies' man now."  
"Take that back!" cried Clyde, "You can be a dick, dude!"

"Hey, you two are lucky that I take you to this talent show only because of Tweek," Tricia rudely insinuated that I flip her off, "By the way Craig, you owe me for this and the cupcakes you steal from me on Valentine's Day."

"Hey, I was hungry," I argued back at her. I don't have time for Clyde being a crybaby and Tricia being a pain in the ass.

"Say to the guy who eavesdrops on me about the talent show your ex is going to be in," Damnit Tricia! Yep, I did overhear her conversation with my cousin, Red about the talent show Tweek is in. I even overhear squealing about him singing to a fricking Ariana Grande song in the audition.

"Say to the guy who sent him flowers and sappy poems," she added. Double damnit Tricia! She can be annoying as fuck!

"Oh! you got told off by your own sister!" Clyde chimed in, "Tweek looks cute in a dress and makeups."

"Shut it, Clyde," I flip him off as well.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I did a Disney reference and throwbacks to the previous episodes within the past seasons.
> 
> Tweek
> 
> Outfit #1: olive green sweater crop top, olive green sweatpants, and light grey sneakers with white socks
> 
> Makeup #1: None
> 
> Outfit #2 (Talent Show Princess): Berry purple long dress and silver glittery pumps with purple and silver hairbow clip, silver butterfly rings, and berry purple satin long gloves.
> 
> Makeup #2 (Talent Show Princess): Dead Roses lipstick, white eyeliner pencil, Set to Shun eyeshadow, Luminescence highlighter, and Buxom Lash Waterproof mascara.
> 
> *link down below for the makeups which belong to the company who made them
> 
> Anastasia Beverly Hills
> 
> matte-lipstick?productId=xlsImpprod16451255
> 
> Stila
> 
> product/heavens-hue-highlighter-P416220?skuId=2056034
> 
> Buxom
> 
> buxom-lash-waterproof-mascara?productId=xlsImpprod13631051
> 
> ColourPop
> 
> super-shock-shadow?productId=xlsImpprod17801019


	9. Panic Attack and Solace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Minor grope, sexual harassment, minor homophobic slur, and suggestive languages/contents! Also, I try to type Spanish or do anything related to Mexican culture within the story which I have no intentions on offending any Spanish speakers, the Hispanic/Latino communities, or anyone else. I sincerely apologize for it.

Chapter 9: Panic Attack and Solace

No one's point of view

"Thank you, Tweek for helping me in my restaurant," David smile upon Tweek.

"Sure thing, David," welcomed Tweek, "Same goes to you for teaching me how to cook Hispanic cuisines."  
"Hey, at least you're putting efforts into my foods just like the Valentine gift you made for me," noted David, "By the way, your performance at the talent show esta maravilloso."  
"Umm..." The blonde boy bewildered at what his Latino friend is saying to him.  
"Oh, I meant to tell you that your performance at the talent show is wonderful. Amazing." acclaimed David.

"Thanks," Tweek blushed at him. He is surprised at the compliment coming from David. He knows David is a nice guy he can trust among people like Stan, Kyle, Token, and Jimmy. Even the perverted Kenny which he forgave him. Unlike those guys and men he encountered at the gym. Still, he feels a sense of fear and doubts: 1) The fear of the same unknown person who "stalked" him on his way home from the gym and 2) the doubts of trusting guys and men after what they did to him.

"Don't be modest. You deserve some credits for your talent and hard work," insisted David, "Hey, I need ingredients for the tres leche cakes, flans, and pan dulces."  
"I can take care of it for you," Tweek ventured, "I usually did deliveries for the coffee shop."

"Great! I have the list and money for you," David hands him a piece of paper written in blue-ink pen and a 20-dollar bill, "There is a local market in a Mexican plaza downtown."

"All right," Tweek exits out of the restaurant while looking at the piece of paper.

Tweek's point of view

I look at the list David gave me to buy at a local market in a Mexican plaza downtown.' On the list, it says sugar, dry yeast, flour, eggs, butter, evaporated milk, condensed milk, whole milk, heavy cream, chocolate, berries, cinnamon, and mango juice. I know where downtown is and it will take me about half an hour.

~ 30 minutes later of walking ~

Once I arrive downtown, I spot and go towards a large store that says "Fresco y Amor". Hmm... this market is as big as the whole foods market. I walk inside the market and I am flabbergasted to see the produce area, huge selection of delis, meats, fishes, and cheeses, and numerous aisles of foods, drinks, and other kinds of stuff. OMG, this is awesome! Oh god, what I am waiting for?! I need to get the ingredients for David.

No one's point of view

Tweek causally gather the things listed on this piece of paper from areas to areas. After he got everything according to the inventory, he goes for the register line. When it is his turn, he places the stuff on the conveyor belt. The cashier scans all of the items and Tweek pay him the 20-dollar bill. He puts the 20-dollar bill and kindly gives him some change.

As Tweek carries the bag of groceries out of the door, he unawarely strides by a boy who is seven or eight years older than Tweek. He is dressed in a black T-shirt, denim sagging jeans, Jordan shoes, black leather jacket, and chains. His black hair is styled into a mohawk with hair mousse or gel; also has tattoos on his left arms.

He looks over at Tweek where Tweek bends over to pull his socks on. Licking his lips and wearing a deviant look on his face, he takes it an opportunity to sneak up on him and did the unthinkable.

Tweek's point of view

Pulling my socks on, I jump up to someone's groping my ass. I turn to see a boy much older than me who is smirking at me. He looks like he could in a gang or jail.

"Nice ass, fag," he taunts me in a husky, horny tone. Excuse me, mister?! How dare he calls me the F-word and talk to me like I'm a piece of meat to him!?

"What do you want from me, jackass?!" I tell him off. I try to sound very dominant to that jerk.

He deeply chuckles at me and grabs my face to forcefully look at him. He replies to me depravedly, "You're so cute acting all feisty and shit. I love it when you're playing hard to get, kitten."

Is that douchebag is for real to have the balls to say that to me in public?! I want to smack him and tell him to back off and leave me alone. Before I could, he roughly shoves his lips onto mine. He fucking kisses me! He tastes like cigarettes and alcohol! I want to get out of here! I want to get away from him! I never want to see him again!

I try to push him off of me, but he is too strong. So, I bite his lips off and shove him off of me. I pick up the groceries David needs for his restaurant and take off. I just keep going and never turn back that creep after what he did to me! I don't care if my feet become sore from all this running! He fucking crosses the line with me! I can't get him out of my head; they're coming back! Oh gah, they're coming back! It is too much pressure!

~ Flashbacks~

"Tight ass, sweetheart."

"Check it out on the blonde cutie, bro!"

"Damn bro, he got this sweet juicy ass!"

"I want to grind and bang that peach of his!"

"I want to ride him until I make him moan and scream louder!"

"Hey baby, you're looking fine today."  
"Damn, I'm liking this view of you!"

"Just wanna ram you in bed until you moan!"

"Ow, ow, baby got back!"  
"Bang bang, baby!"  
"Look at that peachy ass!"

"Nice legs, pretty boy!"  
"Woah, you have a nice ass, cutie!"

~ Flashbacks end ~

David's point of view

I hear the bell rings from the door. I see Tweek is here with the ingredients I need for my restaurant. However, I can also notice Tweek is shedding tears from his green-hazel eyes. His eyes and face are red and puffy; he is holding his chest, gasping for air.

"Que pasa? What's wrong, Tweek?" I pull Tweek in an embrace.

"I...I...I," he tries to explain to me what's happening to him. He looks like he was about to break down or pass out, "He... He... He..."

"Shh, esta bien. It is okay Tweek," I hush and comfort him, "Let's go outside, so you can calm down. Okay?"

He nods at me and I take him through the kitchen to the back door. Opening the door for him, I go outside with him to sit down. I want to know what's going on with him to be in this upsetting position. It takes about half an hour or 45 minutes of him to collect himself.

"I... I... I... He... He..."

"Take your time, Tweek. Dime que pasa, amigo?" I patiently wait for him to hear him out.

He takes a deep breath and quietly, "Can you promise not to tell anyone?"

"I'm all ears and here for you, amigo."

"Umm... after I paid for the stuff you need for the restaurant, as I was pulling my socks up, I..."

"Go on, Tweek."

"As I was pulling my socks up, I was touched behind by a boy much older than me," I listen as he steadily working on his side of the story, "I remembered he wears a black T-shirt, denim sagging jeans, Jordan shoes, black leather jacket, and chains. His hair is black and in a mohawk and has tattoos on his left arm. He...umm..."

"What did he do or say to you?"

"Well, he... he says that I have a 'nice ass' and called me the F-word. I told him off and he grabs my face and retorts me with 'You're so cute acting all feisty and shit. I love it when you're playing hard to get, kitten.' It pisses me off that I wish I could tell him to back off and leave me alone, but he kissed me! he fucking kissed me!" I lean down on him, so he can put his face down to cry on me.

"Tweek... Lo siento. I'm so sorry," I let him know of my sympathy for him, "He is an asshole for putting a hand on you."

"No, it is my fault for letting it happen to me! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Don't say that. It is never your fault. He did this to you. What he did to you is awful."

"I wish this couldn't happen or at least pretend this didn't exist."

"Hey, hey. at least, you come to me to talk about it" I said to him, "Did you tell anyone else besides me?"

He shakes his head and said, "Everybody is busy on their phones, so they don't give a damn about it. I can't even tell Heidi, Wendy, Token, Stan, Kyle, or anyone else. I'm scared of what they're going to think and say about it."  
"Again, it is never your fault. I'm not mad at you for what you're dealing with right now"

"There is also one thing or two I haven't talk to you about and why I'm freaked out about it. It happened last week ago," he added.

"Tell me more."

"I recalled hearing these horrible comments about me at the gym. One guy slapped my ass one time and called me 'sweetheart.' The scariest is when there is someone 'following' me when I was walking home from the gym."

"Oh my god. Tweek, I'm sorry that you have to go through this alone," my blood boils at the guy who groped and kissed him and all of the guys who put Tweek through hell. I can imagine Tweek being disturbed by these incidents from them.

"I am terrified right now. I can't eat, sleep, or do anything because of it. I spent my time crying in my room."

I am also enraged at that fatass, Cartman and Craig, Tweek's boyfriend. Because of them, I have to work so many hours in my parents' restaurant! If it wasn't for them, Tweek would've been scarred for life! Look at him! He's scared and he cried his eyes in his room! He can't eat, sleep, or go anywhere else! Craig supposed to be there for Tweek. But instead, he rather be on his phone to never give a damn about him.

"Tweek, I can protect you at all causes. I don't want you to suffer like this."

"David, it's sweet of you to do it for me but I can handle it myself. I have recovered from it."

"No, Tweek. You have endured too much pain and anxiety. Let me protect you from all of the bad things. In a meanwhile, I'm going to cook you something."

"Umm... it's okay. I'm not that hungry," I can hear his stomach growling like wolves in the street of Idaho.

"I think your stomach says otherwise."

No one's point of view

David cooks some food for Tweek. After Tweek finishes his meal of the day, David cheers him up with things that make him laugh.

"So, you gave him a burrito with your father's semen? That is so gross and mean. At the same time, he did deserve it because he's nothing but an asshole." Tweek giggles at David. Tweek is glad that he has someone like David he can talk to about what he'd dealt with since the Buddha box episode.

"Hey, you're right about him. I put up with his racist remarks for way too long and he claimed to be a Yelper as an excuse to be a major asshole," David admitted to Tweek. Of course, it makes him laugh even more to let out a snort. David is happy to see the admirable smile of the blonde-haired boy. He looks through the window to see it is dark outside, "I am taking you home. Do you know where your house is?"

"Oh, my house is in the neighborhood where Kyle lives," he informed the Mexican boy.

"Okay, let's go. First, I have to close the restaurant," He puts on a coat and turns off the lights. Opening the door for Tweek, he shuts and locks the door. He grabs Tweek's hand and continues on the street of South Park. Since it is cold outside and Tweek is wearing a short-sleeved short dress, David wraps himself and the coat around Tweek.

"Thank you, David."

"No problem. Oh, one thing," he bends down to kiss him softly on his forehead, "You deserve to be shielded from terrible things out in the world. Especially these people."

"I love you like a brother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I did a throwback on episode 4, Season 21 of South Park which is called "You're Not Yelping." Also, what you think of Tweek confiding one of his friend or classmate, David about this situation? Let me know in the comment of what will happen in the next chapter of this story.
> 
> Tweek
> 
> Outfit #1: black short-sleeved lace collar dress and black double buckle boots with white lace knee-high socks and lilac headband.
> 
> Makeup #1: Rum Punch lipstick, Fluffy and Spaced Out eyeshadows (smokey eyes), black eyeliner, and an eyelash curler.
> 
> *links down below on the makeups which belong to the companies who created them
> 
> Anastasia Beverly Hills
> 
> matte-lipstick?productId=xlsImpprod16451255
> 
> Dose of Colors
> 
> marvelous-mauves-eyeshadow-palette?productId=xlsImpprod16151063
> 
> Blackheart
> 
> . ?mr:trackingCode=C79DD10C-1070-E811-80F9-0050569428E8&mr:referralID=NA&mr:device=c&mr:adType=plaonline&mr:ad=329493661810&mr:keyword=&mr:match=&mr:tid=pla-514331049984&mr:ploc=9032176&mr:iloc=&mr:store=&mr:filter=514331049984&CM_MMC=CSE-_-GGL-_-PLA-_-1_9999W1_CSE_GGL_NLC_DESKTOP_11376411_iv_p_1_g_65799837563_c_329493661810_w_pla-514331049984_n_g_d_c_v_l_t_r_1o2_x_pla_y_100831388_f_online_o_11376411_z_US_i_en_j_514331049984_s_e_h_9032176_ii_vi_&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI45in0_iJ4QIVDyhpCh1sEwh4EAQYAiABEgJgVPD_BwE
> 
> Shiseido
> 
> eyelash-curler?productId=xlsImpprod14351041


	10. There for Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mentions to Sexual Harassment/Assault, Swearing, Mentions of Violence, Hints of Hurt/Comfort, and Angry Emojis!

Chapter 10: There for Him

No one's point of view

"Ew, Tweek looks like a girl and a hippie!" bantered Cartman at Tweek and David, "Tweek, why are you with that Mexican boy? Should you be with your boyfriend, Craig?"

Tweek and David continue to walk down the hallways, completely ignoring their obnoxious, fat classmate. The two boys know that Cartman is causing too many troubles for everybody else. It is getting old really fast; Tweek learns that it's better to never care about Cartman and his bullshits.

After all, it is his fault for the pain, anxiety, and conflicts Tweek have to suffer through. Not to mention the circumstance regarding how one creep harassed Tweek by groping and kissing him without his consent. Still, Cartman and the Buddha box impact him into the better person he becomes. If it wasn't for them, then he wouldn't have good friends such as Heidi, Bebe, Nichole, Token, Jimmy, Wendy, Butters, Scott, and anyone else. Especially David who is the only person he reaches out to and understands his issues.

"Thank you for taking me home," gratified Tweek, "I really enjoy your company. You're a nice guy."

"Hey, that's what friends are for. Just letting you know that you don't deserve the pain from them," David reminds Tweek, "I would've beat the shit out of that fatass, Craig, and the creepy pig for what they did to you. Unlike me, you're the kind of person who doesn't do revenge."  
"That's true. I mean..." Before Tweek can say anything, Tweek and David come across Kyle.

"Hey Tweek, I see you're getting along with David," noted Kyle.

"I helped him out in his restaurant. He did a great job teaching me about Hispanic cuisines," Tweek tells his Jewish friend, "He also keeps me company. Don't worry, me and David are just friends."

"Yeah, I saw you walking with David," added Kyle.

"Tweek told me where his house is, so I can take him home safely,"

"That's nice of you, David," Kyle praises David.

"He did make me laugh about how David made a burrito with his father's 'sauce' for Cartman," Tweek happily suggested it to Kyle which Kyle cracks at what the blonde boy is talking about along with David.

"Yeah, he has it coming for the bullshits we put up with," David mentions to Tweek and Kyle.

"Agree," Kyle and Tweek chimes in unison.

Ring! Ring!

"Oh god, we have class," groaned Kyle.

"Oh no, I don't have class with you," Tweek saddened as he says bye to his friends and takes off, "I will see you at lunch."

David sighs and turns to Kyle, "I guess you and me have Cartman in Mrs. Nelson's class."

"Oh god, why him?!" David grunted and advise Kyle, "But let's just ignore him. Don't acknowledge him."

The two boys nod at each other and walk together to Mrs. Nelson's class.

Tweek's point of view

"All right class," my teacher, Ms. Wilde announced, "Today, we are going to do an assignment on creative writing. Creative writing is something you are free to express yourself but are difficult to do so. You can do either a narrative paragraph, short story, poem, or a song about whatever you want to present yourself. If you have troubles coming up with your writing or need help, don't be shy to ask me."

One kid raises his hand and said, "Do we have to present it to class?"

"If you like, it's totally fine," she said, "You can turn it either hand-written or type on Google Docs and send it to me Google Classroom. It's on due on Wednesday, but we're only doing a rough draft. Get to work and try your best please."

As everybody is taking out a paper and pencil out of their backpacks, there are the morning announcements chiming in during class. They usually publish on clubs and organizations, fundraisers, and what to do if staying after school. Until…

"On Friday, we have a football game against our school rival, The Beavers next Friday. Come on and cheer South Park's Cows for the victory! Woah!"

~ Time skips (Lunch!) ~

I text Kyle and David on my phone.

Tweek Tweak: "Hey guys, I'm busy doing a creative writing assignment for Ms. Wilde's class, so I'm going to be at the library."

No one's point of view

~ Meanwhile at the school cafeteria~

"Hey Stan and David, Tweek is at the library to work on an assignment for Ms. Wilde's class," Kyle informs Stan and David as they grab their foods and sit down to eat. Unbeknownst then, someone overheard their conversation: Clyde Donovan.

"Tweek is very busy lately," Stan points out to Kyle and David.

"Yeah, Tweek helps me at the restaurant," David

"I know right, Tweek quits the sports team for cheerleading," David listens to his friend, nodding at the information from him. Though he promises to keep the discussion between him and Tweek a secret, he feels guilty for hiding it away from Kyle.

"Ms. Wilde is a new teacher from Lima, Ohio," said Stan.

"How you did know?" Kyle inquires to his super best friend.

He shrugs at him before the three boys continue munching on their foods.

Craig's point of view

"Tweek is in the cheer team with a bunch of girls?!" Clyde blurted out, "How I didn't know about it?!"  
"Umm...is it you're always in your Buddha box to not bother about it?" grumbled Token, "What am I? Chopped liver? I already know about that last weeks ago."

I spit my milk out of shock. What?! Tweek is in cheerleading?! How I didn't know about it?! Other than the fact that I half-listens to Red and Tricia about that news. Tell me more about how Tweek is doing without me!

"I also overhear David and Kyle that Tweek is in the library, doing an assignment for Ms. Fabray's class. I wish I can in her class someday," I roll my eyes at him. Of course, Clyde is now crushing on the new teacher, Ms. Fabray.

"Clyde, what do I tell about eavesdropping on others? You can't butt in people's businesses," Token lectures Clyde like a mother. I get up and throw away my lunch in the trash.

"Hey, where are you going?!" I hear Clyde's voice booming in my ears.

"I am going to the library," I answered.

"Something tells me it is going to be a bad idea," Token scoffs, "There's no way you can go and find Tweek to talk to him. He's over you."

"Fuck off, I want to see Tweek," I flip Token off and zoom out of the cafeteria in search for Tweek. How could Tweek be over me in 'I don't know how many days or weeks?'

~ 15 minutes later ~

I inhale as I turn the knob and open the door of the library. I scrutinize around the area for Tweek. Until I spot someone's head, blonde hair, is laying down on the table. Blonde hair?! Bing, it is Tweek! He wears a light greenish-blue floral long-sleeved short top, blue shorts, and dark grey boots. His eyes are half-lidded which I can tell that he's half-sleeping. Hmm... he must be tired or something; he looks absolutely dainty!

I was about to approach him quietly until I hear whimpering sounds coming from him. Like he's crying. What's wrong with him? Why is he's crying? He gets up, puts his burgundy hat on, and packs his stuff away in his backpack to leave. He didn't notice me, so I follow after him where he runs out of school. Since I have long legs, it is easy for me to catch up to him. Once I find him going halfway toward his house, he nearly trips; I reach out to catch him. His hands cover his face as I hold him in my arms.

Too bad, I can't bring him back to school. If Clyde, Token, Jimmy, or anyone else saw me with a crying Tweek, then it would've been awkward. Plus, they'll think I'm a heartless jerk to Tweek which I am not. I guess I have left no other choice but to skip school to take him home to his house.

I make my way to his house. I open the door and get inside. Closing the door behind with my foot, I carry Tweek princess-style upstairs and to his room. So what if I'm his ex and ex shouldn't do that?! At least I care about Tweek more than anyone else in the world. I'm sorry for making Tweek sad because of the Buddha box and Cartman!

I lay Tweek down on his bed and take his hands off of his face. I strap off his backpack to place it on the floor adjacent to the side of his bed. My heart aches to see his pretty face drenched in his own tears and smeared makeups. Time to wipe the gunk on his face clean. Wait, how the fuck to remove the gunk called makeup off his face?! Our moms and girls in my school know about makeups more than us and our dads! Then, there is Tricia and Red. Despite her being six or seven years old, I remembered her wearing makeups when either playing with dolls or on her iPad or phone. Red is my cousin, so she knows a lot about makeups, but I forgot that she's mad at me for ditching Tweek for that thing.

I pull my phone out of pocket and text Tricia.

Craig Tucker: "Hey Tricia, do you know how to remove makeups? I'm with Tweek at his house."

Tricia Tucker: "Craig, why are you in his house? I swear to fucking god if you ever try to do something with Tweekie Bird, Craig Thomas Tucker! Craig Thomas Tucker now wants Tweekie Bird back?!" 😡

Craig Tucker facepalms at what Tricia have texted him. At the same time, he never knew that Tricia calls Tweek by a nickname. Tweekie Bird. I wonder why.

Craig Tucker: "Listen you little shithead, I may have fucking hurt him, but I just want to see him right fucking now! Tell me how to remove fucking makeups off his precious face!"

Tricia Tucker: "All right. To remove makeup, you can use makeup wipes, makeup removers, or baby oil if Tweek has those in his house. You can find them in Tweek's bathroom."

Craig Tucker: "Thanks."🖕

Tricia Tucker: "Np, Craigo the fuckboy." 🖕

Craig Tucker: "Hey, I care about him and love him indefinitely!" 🖕

Tricia Tucker: "Whatever, Romeo."

I turn off and put away my phone in my pockets to go to the bathroom to find a bottle of makeup remover, makeup wipes, and those white round things. They are in a basket next to a shit ton of makeups! Goddamnit, how did Tweek can afford these things!? One thing I don't like about makeups besides being a guy and I think makeups smell shitty is the cost! They cost more than what Token brought! As I grab them all, I look at the trash can to see numerous multicolored streaks of stained wipes and round things. Geez, why Tweek need to wear that much makeups?! I also grab a small towel and turn on the water from the bathroom sink to soak and wring it.

I return back to his room and to Tweek. Even still in a daze, he looks so cute! Sitting on his bed, I position his head on my left hand and his shoulder on my lap. I pull the makeup wipes out and start polishing his whole face. Because he's caked in makeups, I have to tear a bunch of wipes out and pour the makeup remover on his face. With every wipes and splash of makeup remover, I am able to get them off of his face; I wash his face clean to see the natural beauty of the love of my life. Honey, you look so much better without the makeups.

I hear a little sniffle from him as a couple of tears drizzle out of his eyes. I kiss him on his forehead and cheeks.

"It's okay, my angel," I whisper to him, swabbing tears off of his face. I'm sorry Tweek for making you cry. I'm sorry Tweek for giving you the pain you have to put up with. I'm sorry Tweek for not being there for you.

I get up from his bed and take the towel, makeup remover, and dirty wipes and round things to the bathroom. I throw shit tons of soiled wipes and round things into the trash can and put the makeup remover and towel back to the sink. I reenter to his room to lay on his bed next to Tweek. I come close to him and cuddle him to give him a soft peck on the lips.

"I love you," I said to him before letting out a yawn and drifting myself to sleep beside him.

Tweek's point of view

~ 4 or 5 hours later ~

I open my eyes and get up to be in my room. Hmm… how did I get here? I trace back to the last time I was here before home. I remembered trying to think of creative writing for Ms. Wilde's class and the next thing I know is that I'm crying in the library to run out of school and almost to my house. Wait, who took me to home?! I look to see my ex sleeping peacefully next to me. Should I hate him? I'm still hurt and betrayed by him, so I feel my hand is moving toward his face. I want to slap him in the face for abandoning me for that thing! Instead, I caress his face gently and kiss him on the cheek. What am I thinking?! Do I still have feelings for him? After what he'd put me through? The tears I poured out every day and night for him and them?! Especially, I have to deal with that guy from outside of the market! I don't know if I love him or not. He is the first boy I ever loved and lost. Love is complicated. I'm glad Heidi is single without that fat weasel!

As I rose up, I dig into the pocket of my shorts for my phone. I turn it on to see it's 5:00 pm. Did I pass out? Dang it! Then again, I find one text message from David that reads:

David Rodriguez: "Tweek where are you? I haven't seen you in school."

I tap on the text message and type down:

Tweek Tweak: "Sorry David, I somewhat pass out and now I'm at home." 😔

David Rodriguez: "It's fine, Tweek. Give yourself a break because it is my day off from work as well. I have homework to do. How's your creative writing assignment for the new teacher, Ms. Wilde?"

Tweek Tweak: "Still working on it. I forgot to tell how I'm at home and you couldn't believe."

David Rodriguez: "Tell me."

I take a deep breath and write down what happened at the time of how 'I got home.'

Tweek Tweak: "At the library, I've been having these uncomfortable thoughts about the 'thing' we discussed on. It is too much pressure on me to the point I want to get out of school to stay home and cry in my room. Craig is there at my home, so I figure he's the one who took me home."

David Rodriguez: "What? Why Craig of all people? I'm going to beat the shit out of him for what he did to you."  
Tweek Tweak: "Hey, you don't need to because I don't resort to retaliation and remember that it is Cartman's fault for it. At first, I was mad at him, but I realize that from how he took me home, he really cares about me."  
David Rodriguez: "I guess you do have a point. I hope Craig isn't going to hurt you or something."

Tweek Tweak: "Let's hope for the best. I have to go. Nice talking to you."

David Rodriguez: "Anytime, Tweek. Bye."

Tweek Tweak: "Bye."

I turn off and set my phone on the dresser. All this crying and passing out makes me want to take a hot bath. I arise to get my pajamas and go to my bathroom.

~ At the bathroom ~

"Ahh..." my body tingles when stepping in this relaxing bath I made from hot water and bath bomb. I did my usual routine of washing myself in shampoos and soaps and giving myself a facial spa; I brush my bath and moisturize myself with a toner and cleansing lotions after I finish my 'luxurious' bath. I put on a white lacy babydoll and exit out of the bathroom to go to my room. Of course, Craig is still snoozing in my bed. Despite how he's never there for me, I thank him for this day. I still love him. Still, that doesn't mean I'm getting back together with him. I want to teach him and Cartman a lesson on what they'd put me through. How I learn to get my shits together whenever I have anxiety. How I learn to 'be capable more than I think.'

~ Flashback (The Yaoi Episode) ~

"You can do it, Tweek! You're capable of more than you think."

"I'm a terrible actor!"

"You just follow my lead, and try and make it believable, okay?"

"Oh, gah-okay. Oh, God!"

~ Flashback ends ~

They don't know what I'd been through to get where I am now. Because of them, I am now living in fear, pain, and vulnerability over sexual advances from guys and men. Mostly this older guy who groped and kissed me outside of the market. I settle myself down on my bed to slumber.

Oh, I give him one last kiss on the cheek.

"I love you," I uttered out him if only he knows. If only he knows. Thank you, next, Craig.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I did a throwback to Season 9, Episode 6 of South Park, "Tweek x Craig" and Season 21, Episode 4, "You're Not Yelping." I also incorporate Kitty Wilde from a TV show called Glee.
> 
> Tweek
> 
> Outfit #1: Light teal-green floral long-sleeved waist tie crop top, chambray flocked shorts, and dark grey fringed boots with a burgundy wool-felt hat.
> 
> Makeup #1: Stevie lipstick, Deserted and Cherrywood eyeshadows (classic eyes), Hypnotic Lights Powder Highlighter, and Big Look Lengthening Mascara.  
> Outfit #2: White lacy babydoll gown
> 
> Bath Bomb: Goddess (from Lush)
> 
> *links down below on the makeups which belong to the companies who created them
> 
> Anastasia Beverly Hills
> 
> matte-lipstick?productId=xlsImpprod16451255
> 
> Dose of Colors
> 
> baked-browns-eyeshadow-palette?productId=xlsImpprod16151061
> 
> Milani
> 
> hypnotic-lights-powder-highlighter?productId=xlsImpprod18521009
> 
> PÜR
> 
> big-look-lengthening-mascara?productId=xlsImpprod4680125


	11. On the Edge

Chapter 11: On the Edge

Disclaimer: I don't own the songs or anything else. The songs Single Ladies belongs to Beyoncé, Kill This Love belongs to a K-pop girl group, Blackpink, and the reference to a song, Thank U, Next belongs to Ariana Grande.

Warning: Mild NSFW, sexual harassment, violence, rape, and other things considered inappropriate and graphic!

Craig's point of view

I wake up to find Tweek next to me. My face heats up when I see Tweek looking so sexy and angelic in a nightgown. He never wears anything flirty or scandalous. He has the face of an angel, but the body of a devil! I mean white highlights his creamy pale skin and lovable character. Or how transparent the nightgown is to let me see peeks of his skin. What hits a home run is the white panties that reveal his curvy hips and thick thighs. These hips and thighs had me horny and hungry!

I lick my lips at the sight of them. Damn, Tweek, damn! Tweek, you're such a tease and I love you even if you broke up with me! A naughty boy! How come I didn't get to see that side of you?! I'm a dumbass for missing out on it! I would've imagined him sneaking into my room dress up like that in my dream! Enjoying the sensations of Tweek's lips when he and I kissed, the sounds of him moaning for me, and the urge to touch his body in any other ways.

~ Craig's dream ~

"Oh, Craig!" Tweek runs towards me as I hold out my arms to embrace him. His face pressed against my chest, "You had me worried sick!"

"Miss me?" I smirk at him as I grab his chin up to my face see the innocent look on his face. How adorable of him.

"Pfft! In your dreams, dick!" Tweek huffs out in anger and slaps me in the face. I know I deserve it, but the slap from him turns me on even more, "You dumped me for that thing. Motherfucker!"

"You're so cute when you're feisty," I place my lips on his neck. I chuckle at how he tries to push me away or hit me in the shoulders or chest, so I snatch his hands to control him. Even in my dream, I can imagine Tweek's mad at me because of the Buddha box. He is so damn sexy when he's acting like this to me.

"Fuck you!" He hisses from the kisses I give on his neck, "You're bluffing me."

"Damn Tweekie, keep playing hard to get and I'm turned on even more," I purr at him. One of my hand travels down from his waist to his thigh and my other hand cups his face to give him a big kiss. When kissing him, I sink my teeth into Tweek's lips which Tweek attempts to fight his urge to resist. Ultimately, he gives in to the point he becomes a mess of pleasure.

To up the ante, I grab his ass and jam myself against his hips. I start off slow and steady as I grope his cute, perky ass. I speed it up to pound him harder and harder to make him cry even more out of desire. I even spank him on his ass as payback for hitting me.

"Oh, C-Craig! Craig, you fucking pervert!" he turns to kiss me. He sounds infuriating; however, I can tell he's hiding his lust from me. Damn, he is such a minx and an angel, "You don't know that you're driving me crazy!"

"I know, honey," I persist on making out with Tweek. Again, I bite down his lips as a command to open his mouth. This time he obeys me; I slip my tongue to explore his mouth, "You're a great kisser, babe."

"Gah! Oh, Craig! Oh, you dirty bastard!" he moans out to me as his hands are clawing on my back, "Craig, can I touch your penis?"

"Honey, why not do this in the bedroom?" I look at him slyly. I take a handful of his ass before I spank him. I am so happy to be an ass man for Tweek, "I can take a gander at your asshole."

"Will you discard me like other rude fuckboys?" His vexation waters down to sadness as his beautiful eyes become teary. His face presses against my chest as I hear him sniffling and weeping. Even in my dream, I feel guilty for walking out of the door for something materialistic and superficial. I feel guilty for the pain and heartbreak Tweek have to put up with. I know why he has every right to be mad at me.

"No, I won't discard you like these assholes. I promise I always and will never hurt you," I cup his face to give him kisses on his forehead, "You're my princess."

"For a tough sexy man, you have a heart of gold. I love it and I love you," he kisses me one more time, "I'm sorry for bothering you, Craig."

"Don't be, I'm sorry for leaving you in the dark. I love you, too Tweek." I carry him just like I did yesterday noon or afternoon. Yep, Princess-style because not only it's nice and boring just the way I like it. I want Tweek to be treated like a princess. My princess to his knight in shining armor.

"Of course, Craig. Let do this in the bedroom."

"My pleasure, princess."

~ Craig's dream ends ~

I put out my phone to see it's only 4:45 am early in the morning. I should be home around 6 am or so. I'll be going to be bitched by the little monkey-ass aka my sister, Tricia as well as my friends for it. Like I said to them: Fuck off! My stomach growls to signal me to eat some breakfast. I expect my stomach to wake Tweek up.

I turn toward Tweek who fortunately is still asleep like Sleeping Beauty. Smiling at him, I slope closer to softly kiss him on the lips.

"Sleep tight, my princess. I love you and I always and will never hurt you," I rise from his bed and exit out of his bedroom to go downstairs. I go to his kitchen and pop open the refrigerator to see only eggs, three cartons of coconut and almond milk, loaves of bread, few berries, butter, and bottles of some weird liquids. It is brown which I can assume it is coffee; it infused in pink and purple. Tweek's parents didn't even bother to buy some groceries at all. Tweek could've starved to death. Oh wait, it's all because of that fatass! I guess it's time to go to a 24/7 convenience store.

I took maybe one or two bottles of these weird liquids before closing the refrigerator door and wolf them all down. These weird liquids sure taste like coffee, but I can savor the sweet and flowery flavor: roses and lavender. I race upstairs and into his room to grab my stuff; come back downstairs. It's a good thing I have my wallet in my backpack if I want to buy something.

No one's point of view

Craig goes outside and makes his adventure to the 24/7 convenience store in the cold early morning.

~ 15-20 minutes later (thanks to Craig's long legs) ~

He eventually makes it to the 24/7 convenience store. He enters himself inside to search for the foods for Tweek. He manages to find a jar of Nutella, bananas, canned spam, shredded cheese, pancake mix, oranges, and whipped cream.

'Hmm… I can make him pancakes and scrambled eggs and spams with toast,' he thoughts to himself, 'I know it's cheesy as fuck, but this breakfast can make Tweek so happy.'

After he got what he needs, he goes up to the checkout counter and paid the things to a chubby middle-aged white guy (comically resembles a grown-up version of Cartman that Craig tries to suppress his laughter to himself).

He quickly brisk-walk to Tweek's house to begin prep cooking in his kitchen. He combines the pancake mix and the ingredients Tweek have in his cabinets and pantries in a large bowl. Putting the pan on the stove in low heat, he drizzles the pan in oil. As he pours the batter into the scorching pan, he fills them with Nutella and let them cook. He flips them after seeing the pancakes bubble with a spatula. Once the pancakes are done, he assembles them in a simple plate. He garnishes them in slices of strawberries and banana and whipped cream.

As he takes out two slices of bread and put them in a toaster, he moves on to the eggs and ham where he beats four eggs, chunks of butter, shredded cheese, and a splash of almond milk. Adding some butter on a hot pan, he put the egg mixture in a pan and stir it. Getting the eggs to become creamy, fluffy, velvety, and moist, he seasons the eggs in some shredded cheese, salt, and pepper.

He grabs the two slices of bread which pop up from the toaster. He spread butter on both toasts and place them on another plate along with the scrambled eggs next to them. He opens the can of spam to cut the spam into slices; lay them on the pan. He watches them sizzling to let out the aroma of pork and its grease and pigmented into a golden-brown color to take them out to the plate of buttered toasts and scrambled eggs. Lastly, he squeezes out orange to make orange juice in a cup.

Craig's point of view

Looking at what I made for Tweek, I'm sure Tweek is going to love them. I'm not Gordon Ramsay, but at least I don't suck at cooking like Stan's dad. I remembered Stan's dad used to work as a chef for my school cafeteria. He and the other chefs kept me and my friends and classmates starved in the cafeteria because of some fucking cooking competition on TV.

~ Flashback starts~

"Alright now, for my baked ziti, we are gonna start off by getting some extra-virgin olive oil into the pan. Oh yeah, get that all over there. It's all slick. ...It's all wet and slick. Oh..." I look at Stan's dad who is pouring extra-virgin olive oil into the pan to make his 'baked ziti' even though I just want some fucking food.

"Can we have some food, please?" I tried to tell him. But of course, he is too fucking busy with his 'baked ziti' for his 'cooking show', 'Cafeteria Fraîche'.

"Now olive oil does have a low smoke point, so keep that heat low, and keep it fraîche."

~ Flashback ends ~

His cooking sucks and he thoughts he will be a famous chef on TV, but he is really delusional. Man, Stan's dad is really delusional and batshit crazy. Hmm... it is no wonder why I can't stand Stan. How the fuck Stan puts up with him? Then again, my dad is equally insane; so does everybody's parents. I guess it's just South Park. Full of batshit surprises, adventures, and bullshits.

I take the tray of breakfasts upstairs and to Tweek's room. Tweek is still asleep soundly. Checking up on him to put the tray beside him, I put my hand on him. Fuck, he must be freezing to death like a popsicle! I unzip my jacket to wrap it around Tweek for warmth. There, much better. I check my phone to it is 6:29 am. I have to get home before Tricia! I'll be damned if Tricia or Red are going to be fucking pissed at me for getting near Tweek! Grabbing my backpack, I whisper him in his ear 'I love you' before kissing him on the lips and exiting out of his room and house to go home.

Tweek's point of view

I wake up to the smell of pancakes, eggs, and spams that I get up to see a tray of stacks of pancakes, scrambled eggs, slices of spams, and toast with butter. I'm sure it is not my parents since all they made for breakfast is mainly coffee; lefts me with Craig because he did take me home all of a sudden from yesterday. Oh yeah, I forgot that I have his jacket. He must've left it there.

Since Craig, the guy who always flips people off, prefers boring things, Stripes, and space, and his favorite color is blue, did something as cheesy as fuck to make a romantic breakfast-in-bed for me?! Even though I broke up with him, I still feel something weird inside me. Are my feelings for him still there? Do I love him despite the fact he broke my heart into pieces and brushed me off, so I have to deal with what guys did to me to scare me? Especially that jerk from outside of the market! Because of what they did to me really freak me out, do I trust men?

The snarling coming from my stomach interrupts my thoughts. I guess I can eat what Craig made. Picking up a fork next to the plate, I dig into the pancakes and take a bite of it. Wow, the pancakes taste delicious! Again, I stab deep into the eggs, spam, and the buttered toast; it is so good that I gobble the rest of them all up. I even wolf them down in fresh-squeezed orange juice. This is better than Stan's dad cooking back there. Oh yeah, Stan's dad is something... I remembered him yelling at the baseball game and fighting with the other dads of the opposite teams to got himself in jail. I can't wash away the images of him being half-naked to start a fight.

~ Flashback starts ~

"What'd you say?!"

"You heard me, asshole!"

"You want me to kick your ass right here?!"

"You want a piece of me?! 'Cause I'm pretty sick of your Goddamned mouth!"

"You'd better shut up, asshole!"

"I'm standin' right here! How do you wanna handle it?"

"I told you to SHUT UP!"

"Fort Collins can't play!"

"Why don't you shut your mouth before I kick your ass!"

"Come on, let's go! I'm right here!"

"Sit down before you get hurt!"

"Oh, I'm sorry! Why don'tcha get 'im on chars in America, I'm sorry!"

"Goddamnit Brian, swing!"

"Greeley sucks! Greeley sucks!"

"What, is this a Communist country or something?! I thought this was America!"

"¡Vamonos Pueblo! ¡Viva la Pueblo!"

"¡Pueblo, no bueno! ¡Pueblo es muy mal!"

"This is America! This is an honest America!"

~ Flashback ends ~

Wow, Stan's dad did pissed the dads from the other teams off back then. Although it is mortifying, I find it so funny as fuck to laugh out loud! Giggling like a little girl and snorting like a pig on a farm! Stan's dad may be bat-shit crazy and offensive like the one when he said the n-word. If it wasn't for Stan's dad, then me and my friends would've played long days or seasons of boring ass baseball.

After I'm finished with my breakfast made by Craig, I go downstairs to wash the plates in the sink and return back to my room. Oh shit, I forgot about the assignment for Ms. Wilde's class! The last time I tried to come up with this assignment, I ended up crying because of these 'thoughts'! I pull out a piece of paper and a pencil from my backpack and start working on it. This time, I need to beat them all at my game! Cartman, Craig, the Buddha boxes, men, and the guy who sexually assaulted me outside of the market!

~ 3 or 4 ½ hours later ~

I manage to write what I can think and feel into my poem following shit tons of crumbled-up paper balls. This poem I wrote is deeply personal to me and only me. Then again, I can give it to the person I know to read. The only person who understands me the most when 'someone' left me in tears. David

Bittersweet Ignorance

Sitting on my bed,

Tears stain on tissues,

Indulge in ice cream

Creamy and rich like the good times we had

Frigid like the room we're in

Or your voice when we have conversations

Specks of fires fade to coal

I guess it is time to say farewell

To him,

He whom I loved and lost

He who protected and forsaken me

He who cherished and martyred me

Without a knife to my back

What a way to throw

The love of his life, his everything

The love we had

Away for something superficial

I should've been warned

About them and men like you

Playing around my heart and mind

I pause for a second to tighten my grip on my pencil. I cross out everything I wrote on the paper.

Ugh! What's with these feelings?! I was in love with Craig fucking Tucker! My ex of all people! First, I fucking love him and the next, I-I … Ugh! This is why love is fucking complicated! This is why men are fucking complicated that I can't trust them! Men and love are blowing hot and cold on everything! To add lemon to the wounds is fucking Cartman and his bullshits! Why?! Why?! Why?!

My face is heating and tensing up, yet I feel a sense of self-destruction to collapse and cry on my bed. My bed muffles the sound of my 'ugly cries'. Why this one boy I fell love with has to break my heart into piece?! Why does every guy I come across have the audacity to flirt with me even if I'm not in a mood to be in the dating game?! Craig, Kenny, and the guy who disgustingly kissed and groped me outside of the market! I want to be alone in my room and nothing else. Like yesterday, I did pass out for an hour or so.

No one's point of view

~ 2 or 3 hours later ~

He gains consciousness from his passing out. He takes out his phone to check the time. It is 1:15 pm. He put his hand on his forearm in agony.

"Ow! Headache!" he grumbled to himself, "I need a break. It is getting boring in my room after all. Let's go outside to work out. I forgot that next Friday is the football game and I need to practice my cheer."

He gets up to his closet to pick out something to wear which are light mauve and white leggings with pockets, periwinkle purple top, white mesh crop top, grey sneakers, and white socks. He puts on a pink workout headband.

"Hmm... I need to go to another gym after what happened," He opens his laptop to type down 'gym near me' on Google Map. Entering the keywords, he sees several as he clicks on the 'zoom in' button. While he narrows out gyms that would take him hours to walk, his eyes light up at what he finds.

"Bingo!" Closing his laptop, he grabs his phone and earbuds; race downstairs. He inhales in the refreshing air as he opens the door.

"Oh yeah. Let's do it!" he plugs his earbuds to his phone and put on some music to begin his journey to the new gym. Beyonce's song, Single Ladies, is blasting in his ears, "Hell yeah! I love me some Beyoncé!"

~ Time skips to the new gym~

"Wow, this place is amazing!" he can't believe the new gym. He opens his mouth to sing a 'Hallelujah'. The place looks both industrial and modern in splashes of colors such as oranges, beiges, teals, and light greens. Huge windows. Vending machines. Wooden inspirational signs. LED lights. A massive jug of ice-cold water. There are even white towels on box shelves.

Tweek's point of view

To both my relief and nerves, there are so many girls in this gym. So, I don't have to be freaked out by a bunch of perverted creepos. Yet, I feel a pit of uncomfortableness.

'Gah! I'm the only boy in this gym! What if all of the girls are going to make fun of me?! Oh god, they'll be going to be meaner than the Raisin girls! Ngh, I don't want to go back to that horrible place! All of these guys are worse than the underpant gnomes or Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, and Francis Ford Coppola! Oh wait, I forgot that the fat weasel dragged me in this mess!

"Hello there. Come in to sign up. Don't be shy," I perk up to see a slender woman in the front desk. She has platinum hair, tan skin, and pearly white teeth when she smiles at me. Her smile is naturally genuine; not too fake like the ones in movies and TV shows where they have these plastic, beautiful girls or the Raisin girls.

I take a pen and put my name on a sheet of paper clamped to a clipboard, "Thank you."

"Anytime." At least she's really nice. Not like them and the Raisin girls who are snakes in the grass. She didn't judge me for wearing girly clothes since I'm a boy. Hey, this is 21st century, so to all the haters, suck it!

"Let's do this!"

No one's point of view

He prepares warm-ups and stretches. Next, he goes on the cardio machine and exercise bike for speed (as a cheerleader, he needs to be as fast as lightning) while drowning himself in pop, R&B, and hip-hop music. Then, he practices the tumbles, flips, cartwheels, and various acro moves on the gymnastics mat in another room of the gym; he did it with the equipment he sets up.

"Time to slay the choreography! I'm a badass bitch and I'm going to give it 'badass bitch'!" he turns on the music and gets into formation (no puns intended).

~ Cue the music (Song #1: Kill This Love by Blackpink)

"5, 6, 7, 8!" he busts the moves to the music. He starts off simple and clean, yet exudes energy and power. Once he gets to the rapping part, he dances confidently and aggressively like he owns this room and nobody ever! His facial expression is as ferocious as a lion or barbarian. Actually, he is thinking of beating the shit out of Cartman, Craig, and the people with Buddha Box.

Here I come kicking the door, uh

가장 독한 걸로 줘, uh  
뻔하디 뻔한 그 love  
더 내놔봐 give me some more  
알아서 매달려 벼랑 끝에  
한마디면 또 like 헤벌레 해  
그 따뜻한 떨림이 새빨간 설렘이  
마치 heaven 같겠지만  
You might not get in it

Throughout the song, he is able to bring both grace, energy, and personality into his dancing. The grace of a lyrical/contemporary dancer; the energy and personality of a hip-hop dancer.

We must kill this love (Yeah! Yeah!)  
Yeah, it's sad but true  
Gotta kill this love (Yeah! Yeah!)  
Before it kills you too  
Kill this love (Yeah! Yeah!)  
Yeah, it's sad but true  
Gotta kill this love (Yeah! Yeah!)  
Gotta kill, let's kill this love!

He did a turn and a pose which is a punch in the air with his right arm and the left on his hips at the end of the music.

"Last one is the cheer chant," he put away the equipment.

"Ready?! Okay! 5, 6, 7, 8! We're cute! We're sweet! We're proud! We're going to beat the game! We're going to rule this game! We're gonna shoot the scores to victory! Go Cows!"

"Thank You, Next! Thank You, Next! Thank You, Next! We're so grateful for our team! Thank You, Next! Thank You, Next! Thank You, Next! We're so thankful for our team!" he did a punch in the air and dip low to stuck his ass out flirtatiously.

"Let's go South Park, let's go! Come on, South Park! Fight, fight, fight! You got so much fight! You got so much spirit! Even if you lose, you can do it! Go South Park!" he winks and blows a kiss at the end.

"Come on, Cows! Come on, Cows! Knock them down and score some points! You can do it, I know you can! Go Cows! Go Cows! Go, go go... Go Cows!" he twirls around to shake his ass and did a backflip split.

Tweek's point of view

Catching my breath and drinking water from the glass jug of ice-cold water and a 'detox juice' from the vending machine, I check my phone to see it is almost 6 pm. My stomach is gnarring like crazy! I guess I didn't eat anything since I passed out for two or three hours.

I paid her at the front desk and wave her goodbye. She smiles and thanks me for coming to this gym, "Have a good day!"

"You too," I tell her as I leave out the door. Walking on the street, I survey the area for a place to grab a bite. I can sense my mouth is watering for something I can sink my teeth in. It's not until I come across a small restaurant where I have waffle fries and fried shrimps, buffalo chicken pizza with tomatoes and extra garlic, fish sub with coleslaw and spicy mayo, pasta primavera, and mixed berry cake. Enjoying my meal, I shockingly notice the same guy from the market. The same black mohawk. The same tattoos on his left arm. The same black T-shirt, denim sagging pants, Jordan shoes, black leather jacket, and chains. The same guy who kissed and groped me. I can't let him see me! I have to get away from him! I need to eat as soon as possible! But hey, at least he wouldn't kiss me since I have foods loaded with garlic, fish, and anything that gives me bad breath.

I hastily gobbling all of my foods and ask the waiter to give me the bill to pay for my meals, "Check please, sir!" I smash my money into the bill for him; I lay a five-dollar-bill tip on the table.

I look to see he's too busy with his business or something, so I take this as a chance to escape. Pronto! I get up to walk around to reach for the door. I turn my eyes back at him and I regret looking back at him because now he's about to cast his eyes at me!

'Holy shit! Tweek, run!' I say to myself to bolt the fuck out of here! Oh my god! Oh my god! Why do I have to run into him out of all people?! What's fucking worst are the people in the restaurant with their fucking Buddha boxes! I'm sprinting for my own life thanks to them, Cartman, and Craig! Fuck them! Fuck them! Fuck them!

Out of a sudden, I feel a hand covering my mouth and the other hand on my hips. Oh my god, not him! I try to break myself free by shaking him off or using my hands to pull myself away from him. Didn't work because he's too strong. I try to sink my teeth in his hand; he curses to let out 'Bitch!' and punch me in the face.

"You look even sexy in your workout clothes. Especially that pant of yours. Do you miss me, tight ass?!" his fingers gripping on my ass and his lips on my neck. Again, he reeks like alcohol and cigarettes! I feel something's huge and pointy poking at my ass. From behind, he bends down to kiss me on the cheek. Fucking pervert! I'm done being the sex toy to anyone else! I'm not owned by someone else!

"Fuck you, jackass!" I elbowed his face from me, "Get off of me! I say no! I don't want you! I fucking mean it!"

What he's going to do with me?! I have to fight back for my life! For the second time, I bite his hand and push him away from me to burst away from him. Additionally, I jab him in the face.

"Oh no, you don't!" He grabs me by the neck and both of my wrists. His fist impact my eye, "I'm taking you somewhere else! I'm teaching you prick a lesson for turning me down!"

He carries me to his car and drives me to a secluded, woody place. He gets out of the car and picks me up to go deep into the area. I was being positioned on the ground. As I'm defending me from him and smack him in his face, he nails me in my nose that blood is running down my face.

"Pull that shit again and you'll regret it!" He pins me tightly on the ground and roughly kisses me. Ew, alcohol and cigarettes! I battle my resistance to moan, but of course, he thrashes my jaw and squeezes his hands on my wrists. Jesus, it's just like in my nightmare! "Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!"

His tongue travels in my mouth and I foolishly release a moan much to his pleasure. While kissing me, he tears open my shirts. Without my shirts, I shiver from the cold air. His lips pull back from mine to go towards my neck, shoulders, and stomach. Until he reaches to my lower half. Oh god!

"You're even sexier without clothes on," He pulls down my leggings for the impossible! He snickers and whispers in my ear, "There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night."

I see him taking off his shirt and belt. He begins to unbutton and unzip his pant to reveal his boxer and his monstrous bulge. Damn. Damn.

"Time to bang you until I make you cum," he maliciously smiles at me. My tears trickle to prepare for the agonizing moment. Men scare the shit out of me!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: I did throwbacks to the previous seasons and episodes of South Park.
> 
> Tweek
> 
> Outfit #1: Periwinkle purple top, white mesh crop top, light mauve and white leggings with pockets, and grey sneakers with white socks.
> 
> Makeups: None


	12. Bruises, Tears, and Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own South Park or anything else. South Park belongs to Matt Stone and Trey Parker. The song, "Back to Sleep" belongs to Chris Brown.
> 
> Warning: Sexual assault/rape, self-harm, mentions of blood, depression, alcoholism, and suicides, sexual harassment, minor homophobia, mention of abuse, vulgarity, and slut-shaming.

Chapter 12: Bruises, Tears, and Scars

Tweek's point of view

Beep... Beep... Beep...

I hear the sound of a machine next to me. I slowly open my eyes to the sound of chemicals. I can see myself, wearing a gown, in a hospital bed. I groan as I steadily rose from the bed. My body hurts like hell from what happened last night. Especially my ass and who knows what's down there. Overall, I feel like shit as fuck. From the pain on my lower part, I feel... soiled. Soiled of my dignity. Soiled of my innocence. Soiled of myself. Who am I? Who am I?

Also, how do I end up here in this hospital? The last time I can think of... I remember hearing voices. Voices of the awful guy. That same awful guy who groped and kissed outside of the market. I can't stand how he makes me feel... vulnerable. I can't stand how he talks to me that I attempt to suppress his comments. I can't stand how he lay his hands on me like I am a punching bag to him. I can't stand how he pounds me hard to make my toes curl up.

In...Out... In... Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... I count how many times he fucked me until I lose track of the numbers. This is the first time I lose my... you know what. The first dick inserted in me. However, this is different. Instead of love and passion, it is pain. It is against my consent. When I try to say no to that guy, he just pushes me over the edge.

~ Flashback starts ~

"Tight ass."

"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!"

"You're even sexier without clothes on."

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night."

~ Flashback ends ~

I am at the brink of breaking down in tears. Am I a slut? Am I? Does 'having sex with an older man' makes me a slut? Does 'having every guy flirting at me' makes me a slut? Is it my fault for it? I should have done something else. I should have screamed louder or something. If it wasn't for last night, then I wouldn't end up here.

The door opens to see a woman in her nursing attire. She is around her twenties or something. She looks around Token's nationality with her black hair and dark brown skin. Her name tag reads 'Gillian Woods.' Quickly wiping my tears to hide away the pain, she comes at me.

"Tweek, I'm glad you're awake. You're at the hospital. I see that by your diagnosis, you're brutally assaulted and in a coma for what seems to be 3 hours or so," she takes out his phone to see it is 12 am. So that's how long I've been unconscious. But who took me there?

"On the other hand, we run some test on you and well," she breaks the news to make my heart drop, "We find out that you're sexually assaulted."

My mouth feels as dry as a desert at the word. The word 'sexual assault' hits me at a home-run. Sexually assaulted? Sexually assaulted?! What would people think of me being 'sexually assaulted'? I can picture the looks on everybody's faces including my friends, Craig, and fucking Cartman. They'll think that I am some slut, whore, or that 'person' soliciting sex on the street. They'll think that I am 'asking for it.' I can assume that they don't understand 'sexual assault' or something. Especially I am a boy and homosexual.

"Sexually assaulted?" I blurted out to the nurse. My stomach is twisting and churning that I want to vomit. My mind springs back to what happened last night. Episodes of panic attacks. Patterns of men patronizing with their disgusting comments and sexual advances. The noises I lament to listen to; still there in my mind. Why aren't they going away?! I want to shout at them to leave me alone.

~ Flashback starts ~

"Tight ass, sweetheart."

"Check it out on the blonde cutie, bro!"

"Damn bro, he got this sweet juicy ass!"

"I want to grind and bang that peach of his!"

"I want to ride him until I make him moan and scream louder!"

"Hey baby, you're looking fine today."  
"Damn, I'm liking this view of you!"

"Just wanna ram you in bed until you moan!"

Just let me rock

fuck you back to sleep girl

don't say a word no

girl don't you speak

"Ow, ow, baby got back!"  
"Bang bang, baby!"  
"Look at that peachy ass!"

"Nice legs, pretty boy!"  
"Woah, you have a nice ass, cutie!"

"Nice ass, fag," the voice of that guy. That guy groped, kissed, and violated me, "You're so cute acting all feisty and shit. I love it when you're playing hard to get, kitten."  
I recalled vivid images of how my pant is being pulled down at the night of the 'incident'. How he seizes my wrists with his big hands. How he grabbed me by the neck when I tried to get away from him. How he hit me in my face.

~ Flashback ends ~

"Hello? Are you okay? What's wrong?" the nurse shook me on the shoulder, "Is something you want to tell me? Talk to me."

I turn to face her before collapsing myself to bawl my eyes out. I can't take this anymore. Stress. Pain. Heartbreak. Anxiety and Fear. Everything I have to carry through the days and weeks. I am broken and nobody is here to fix it. It is because I had been suppressing them to deal with them on my own. Except I only told one person who completely understands me.

"I... I..." I struggle on the words.

"Take your time, dear. Tell me what's going on," the nurse hugs me and rubs my back in small circles. The same motion as what Heidi did when I broke up with Craig, "Deep breaths, dear. Deep breaths."

I did as she told me to do. Breathe in, breathe out. As I am calming myself down, I hold my head as my mind is bombarding with demons, questions, revolting images, and doubts. Should I tell her? Yes or no? I'm not sure if there are some ways to fix this. Is there are hope for what I've been through on my own and keeping secrets from them? The demons, questions, revolting images, and doubts are suffocating me!

I take one last deep breath and explain to her the truth. The truth about the guy, older than me, who fucked me last night. The same guy who groped and kissed me outside of the market.

"That's not the only case I have to deal with," I added, facing the nurse, "I remember uncomfortable comments and touches from men, so that's why I've been crying in my room, passing out, and other things. I begin to question myself in this situation. I am not sure if I can trust men. I am not sure if there are people I can reach out to. I am not sure if I can go outside without having a full-blown panic attack or something."

"I am so sorry you have to endure the pain, stress, and everything else. He did this to you, so it is not your fault. I get where this is coming from and you don't have to go through with it alone. I am going to tell you a story," the nurse wipes all of my tears with her thumbs, "There is this one girl who dreamed of being a police officer in her life. But that dream is shattered because of the trials and tribulations. Her father is an abusive alcoholic, her mother went out to clubbing and cheats on him with other guys, and as for her brothers and sisters, she has to take care of them every day and night. Not only that but because of the sexual assault she faced at age fourteen; her friends and community turned against her. Her parents disowned her to the point where she has to live in a homeless shelter or on the street. Without her friends, parental figures, or anyone else she can come for support, she went through depression and battles of self-harm, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.'

I can't think of this girl's story. I guess she had it harder than me and I can relate to the pain I had been through as her. The anxiety. The pain. The concept of sexual assault. Without anyone by my side. What makes me grimace is how they become assholes to her because of sexual assault, "Tell me more."

"She's about to commit suicide by hanging herself when she can't handle life anymore. Nevertheless, it's not until she was taken to this hospital by an unexpected savior. This savior saved her from dark times. If wasn't for this savior, then she wouldn't have the choice to turn things around. She begins to focus on her education for a high school diploma and a bachelor degree in nursing. She takes her siblings from her parent's house to live with her grandmother. Her grandmother turns out to be the better parental figure than her parents to take care of her and her siblings," she narrative this girl's story, "You know, the girl in this story is right in front of you."

"You? You went through everything in your life?" I ask her, "Why? How?"

"Exactly," Her dark brown eyes tear up as she looks at me in my eyes, "Tweek, my dear, I know you and I both have pain and sufferings like human beings. I'm telling you right now to never go down that path as I did as a young girl. What's upsets me is how people didn't have the balls to lend me a hand. I did everything what I can do for myself and my brothers and sisters. From now on, I'm helping you from that pain and suffering. Here are pamphlets on sexual assault. You can talk to someone you can trust like a teacher, counselor, or even your friends in order to overcome this ordeal."

She kindly hands me a bunch of pamphlets of sexual assault. That's a lot of information to learn about sexual assault.

"I have a question."

"Go on, what is it?"

I open my mouth to say, "Is it common for a male to encounter this situation? Especially as a homosexual?"

She smiles at me and says, "There are some males in this ordeal, but like females, they are living in fear of confronting it because of society's judgments, ignorance, and hate. You're lucky to have the courage to talk to me about your ordeal. A piece of advice I can give to you: Don't let him and other people's judgments get to you."

"Thank you," I praise her. Though, doubts are clouding in my head about this situation. Who can I talk to? How I can cope with it? How can I recover? What would people think of me? Will I give up everything because of it? There is one question: Who took me to the hospital? Hmm...

No one's point of view

After Tweek is being discharged from the hospital, he is about to walk home. However, he turns around to the sound of a car honking. He expects some cat callers or creeps for the worst. However, the driver is no other than Skeeter.

"Hey Tweek, you need a ride home?" he called in his Southern accent.

At first, he feels hesitant about it. It's unlike of Skeeter to offer him a ride home after long histories of bigotry and conservativeness. Before PC Principal comes to South Park.

Although he senses a hint of mistrust towards men after what happened, he has no other choice but to give in. His house is hours away from the hospital.

He opens the door and gets inside Skeeter's car. Skeeter turns on the ignition in his car and begins driving. It is awkwardly quiet in his car. Tweek is slouching on his seat with his hands on his chin and his eyes on the ground.

"So, are you okay?" Skeeter asks Tweek which he nods his head, his eyes still glued to the ground. He didn't feel like facing Skeeter to have a conversation with him.

"Are you sure? You look like you're beaten up by someone. I remember I saw you passed out on the ground with bruises on your face, so I took you to the hospital," he informed the blonde boy.

"Uh… yeah," he nonchalantly answers and nods his head again at him. He suspiciously observes him before shifting his focus on the road.

~ 15-25 minutes later ~

"Here you are," He brakes at the reddish-brown house and garage that is his house. Tweek looks up to see his house. Unbuckling his seatbelt, he gets up to open the car door.

"Thank you for the ride, sir," Tweek responds to him with a small, sad smile.

"No problem, buddy. Call me Skeeter."

Once he closes the car door, Tweek looks back at the car and turns at his house. He rushes inside his house to go upstairs to his room. He locks himself in his room to change into his lilac purple nightgown and crash down to his bed.

Tweek's point of view

On my bed, I stare at the ceiling. I'm in my own thoughts on what will happen tomorrow or so. What if people react negatively about my incident with that guy? What if they think of me as 'sexually-active,' 'that boy', 'frisky,' or 'whore'? Or a bad influence to others? Or worse? I can't face everybody to go through the shame and humiliation! At the same time, I will destruct myself if I keep my 'sexual assault' silent. But who can I turn to? I feel terrible for lying to Wendy and Skeeter. Then again, David didn't treat me differently when I opened up to him about it. What about them? Token? Jimmy? Stan? Kyle? Heidi? Bebe? I don't feel like going to school and rather stay home.

Because of that incident, I am left hurting inside to drench myself in tears. Oh wait, I forgot about the creative writing assignment for Ms. Wilde's class. I pull out a piece of paper and a pencil to begin scribbling words. Maybe I can come to terms with my 'sexual assault' in the form of a poem.

~ 1 or 3 hours later ~

Done!

I look at my work. A piece of paper with everything I write from my heart. My pain. My feelings. Everything I'd suppressed from everyone else. It's been hours of writing and starting over that I have nothing to do in my room. I notice a blue jacket next to me. A blue jacket… Craig.

I forgot about Craig. After my breakup with Craig and the horrible incident with that guy who groped and kissed me outside of the market, can I trust men? Can I have a relationship after the 'thing'? What if I still have these things in my mind even in a relationship? Can I get back together with Craig? I mean he did take me home after the panic attack episode at the library and he did make me a romantic breakfast. On the other hand, ugh... I shake my head to think about him. What is the point of this? I can't deal with everything! It is all Cartman's fault for fucking everything! Every time he does is fucking everything up with his bullshits! He's full of shitty excuses! He never ever learns something from his bullshits and everything he fucked up! He just fucks things up and expects everybody else cleans up his own fucking messes! Ugh!

No one's point of view

Tweek gets up to go to the bathroom. Standing next to the bathroom sink and mirror, he opens the cabinet above the sink and mirror to find a box of razor blades. He tears open the box to take out a razor blade and put it back on the cabinet.

Staring at the razor blade, he presses and runs the blade on his arms. One, two, three…. He winces at the stinging sensation from the slicing of the sharp blade on his arms. Blood is running from the scars on his arms which is about a dozen or fourteen. It hurts, but he sighs in relieve as if he drains the pain and suffering out of him.

'I should not be doing this, but what choice do I have? People care about the fucking Buddha box more than anything and anyone else in the world. Including me,' he said to himself, 'What is the point of this? It is too much pressure! Sexual assault. Stress. The pain. Doubts. Heartbreak. Panic Attacks. Horrible images and voices in my head.'

He grabs a towel to staunch the bleeding on his arms. Once the bleeding stops, he goes back to the bathroom cabinet to get a first-aid kit. He wraps the wounds in sterile bandages. He returns to his room and locks the door; close the window curtain to shield the lights away.

Tweek's point of view

I get into bed to lay down. I push the blue jacket away from me as if I rather freeze to death than being warm up by him. It's just too much for me to bear. I close my eyes and sleep through the day; I let tears from my eyes to soak on my face and pillow.


	13. Breakdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't belong the song or anything else. The song, "Impossible", belongs to Shontelle.
> 
> Warning: Sexual assault/rape, self-harm, traumas, sexual harassment, minor homophobia, violence, vulgarity, and slut-shaming.

Chapter 13: Breakdown

No one's point of view

After Tweek's discovery about sexual assault, Tweek begins to deteriorate time after time. He starts to eat less and mostly spend his times in his room. He would either watch R-rated movies, listens to music, or continue to cut himself. He even sleeps through days and nights drowning himself in tears. Whenever his friends call him about plans to hang out, he would decline them by saying that he's busy. He didn't bother to respond to text messages or phone calls. Though he goes outside; he becomes paranoid and never at ease; he did his best to control himself from self-destruction.

Picking out outfits and makeups become an uphill battle for him with the voices in his mind dictating him what to wear and what not to wear.

'Ugh, why are they shitting on me?! Why can't they just leave me alone?! Don't they have something else to do rather than calling me out?!' he endeavors to resist them.

'Slut'

'Trashy'

'Promiscuous'

'Ew, Too much makeup!'

'Asking for it!'

'Whore'

'Begging for attention!'

'Bitch!'

Additionally, he didn't want his scars and bruises to be seen by people including his friends. Eventually, he ends up being covered up in dark colors, abundant of layers, and clothes with edgier aesthetics. Not to mention wearing punk accessories and caked in heavy makeups to look like one of those middle or high school girls.

In school, he tries to concentrate on his studies. At recess and lunch, he would be in the library reading a book or the pamphlets the nurse gave him or the music room with the piano rather than with his friends. He also did his homework in the library he was assigned and missing; turns in his missing works.

"Ew, Tweek looks like a faggot-ass whore/gothy and emo freakshow!" he turns around to see Cartman. The guy who is at fault for fucking everybody's lives. The guy who ruins his relationship with Craig. The guy who never learn from his mistakes and gets away with it. The guy who only and always care about himself and no one else, "Shouldn't you be with these ugly bitches? That Mexican boy? That fucking Jew? Your boyfriend, Craig? Or are you whoring around with a bunch of dicks?!"

Nice job, Cartman! Thanks to him, Tweek wasn't having it! His body begins to heat up from zero to hundreds or thousands of degrees. Veins are throbbing on his head. His blood is boiling and his heart is beating rapidly like a boxer taking blows at the punching bag.

"Shut the fucking hell up, fat weasel! Don't talk about my friends like that! Don't even think about bringing him up! Like you have the nerves to say something to my friends! Do you have something to say, huh?! If you do, then say it my face! How fucking dare you?!" he explodes at him. He is never the person to lose his temper, but he had enough of Cartman. He had enough of his bullshits. He had enough of him bashing on his friends. He had enough of him treating Heidi like shit. He had enough of people taking his side for the heck of it.

'Oh, I'm not done with him!' he shouted to himself, 'I want to teach him a lesson!'

"Oh, you think you're cool and shit and all?! Do people like an asshole like you?! Do people even put up with an asshole like you?! Not me because to tell you the truth, you suck! You suck worse than your fucking Buddha boxes and your little followers! I remember how you got your ass handed to you by a girl because of your bullshits!" he chews his fat classmate out, "For so long, I had been hearing you go on and on about your bullshits! For so long, I had seen you fuck everything up! Do you think you expect to have everybody clean your messes up?! Do you even think you can get away with your bullshits with you being fake-ass as fuck?! Hell no, you're nothing but an unforgiving, ignorant, fake, egotistical, manipulative, lazy-ass, unaccountable, and malicious jackass to call yourself a person or friend to anybody else! Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Butters, David, Craig, Clyde, Token, Jimmy, Heidi, Wendy, Bebe, Nichole, and anyone else! You're a liar and you know that!'

"You little motherfucker!" Cartman raise his hand at Tweek for the worst.

Slap!

"You better shut the fuck up! My ears hurt from your little bitching mouth!" he barks at him.

"Oh, make me! Or is it because you're a damn dickrag! All barks and no bites! At least you got more bites considering all of the junk foods you consume! In fact, fuck you!" he flips him off before walking away from him.

He could care less about the hand print on his cheek or who knows what Cartman might do to him. All what matters is that he finally stands up for himself! Without Craig or anyone else by his side. He never expects Cartman to slap him in the face. But he wears a victorious smile on his face.

'I hope that karma got Cartman real bad after years of his bullshits and I mean it!' he wishes to himself.

~ Time skips (after school) ~

Tweek's point of view

I stay after school to be with the piano. Music is the only way to escape from everything. The sexual assault. The Buddha boxes. Craig. Cartman. Geez, I still never forget that he slaps me after my rant to him. Well, other than dancing and cheerleading which I feel like I need to quit cheerleading because of 'it.' What would they think of me? A cheerleader who's raped by an older guy? Or whoring around with an older guy? I open my mouth to sing what I'm feeling about the sexual assault and everything that cause me pain and tears.

I remember years ago  
Someone told me I should take  
Caution when it comes to love  
I did, I did  
And you were strong and I was not  
My illusion, my mistake  
I was careless, I forgot  
I did  
And now when all is done  
There is nothing to say  
You have gone and so effortlessly  
You have won  
You can go ahead tell them  
Tell them all I know now  
Shout it from the roof tops  
Write it on the skyline  
All we had is gone now  
Tell them I was happy  
And my heart is broken  
All my scars are open  
Tell them what I hoped would be  
Impossible, impossible  
Impossible, impossible  
Falling out of love is hard  
Falling for betrayal is worst  
Broken trust and broken hearts  
I know, I know  
Thinking all you need is there  
Building faith on love and words  
Empty promises will wear  
I know (I know)  
And now when all is gone  
There is nothing to say  
And if you're done with embarrassing me  
On your own you can go ahead tell them  
Tell them all I know now  
Shout it from the roof tops  
Write it on the skyline  
All we had is gone now  
Tell them I was happy  
And my heart is broken  
All my scars are open  
Tell them what I hoped would be  
Impossible, impossible  
Impossible, impossible  
Impossible, impossible  
Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)  
I remember years ago  
Someone told me I should take  
Caution when it comes to love  
I did  
Tell them all I know now  
Shout it from the roof top  
Write it on the skyline  
All we had is gone now  
Tell them I was happy (I was happy)  
And my heart is broken  
All my scars are open  
Tell them what I hoped would be  
Impossible, impossible  
Impossible, impossible  
Impossible, impossible  
I remember years ago  
Someone told me I should take  
Caution when it comes to love  
I did

I slump down on the piano, covering my face with my hands. I can feel myself being caged and surrounded by rains, lightning, and dark grey clouds. My mind is bombarded with these thoughts, images, voices, and doubts. I am done with everything these days. I can't eat and do anything in my life these days. I guess there is no hope for me. I don't see what's the point of living in this world where bad things happen to me and I have to cope with them on my own.

A hand is planted on my back to shake me up. I look up to see my teacher, Ms. Wilde. She opens to her mouth, "Hi Tweek, I see you're here and I got to say that you're amazing at music. I remember the good times joining glee club back in high school."

"Thanks," I reply to her.

"How are you feeling?" she asks me a question.

"I'm okay, I guess," I answered.

"I notice you have been quiet and distant today," she scratches her head, "When I review your poem, your poem is very dark and exudes sentimentality, yet well-written. Is there something's going on? Tell me something. I can help you in any ways."

My mind is playing a game of tug of war. Should I tell her? I can't lie to her like I lied to Wendy or Skeeter. I will be a terrible person for being dishonest to her and them about my 'sexual assault' with the guy who groped and kissed me outside of the market! Heck, I'm a terrible person for putting on a fake smile to say that 'I'm okay!' Realistically, I'm not okay! I'm drowning! I'm hurting! I'm suffocating like the walls coming up at me! Oh my god, they're back!

~ Flashback starts ~

"Tight ass."

"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!"

"You're even sexier without clothes on."

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night."

"Check it out on the blonde cutie, bro!"

"Damn bro, he got this sweet juicy ass!"

"I want to grind and bang that peach of his!"

"I want to ride him until I make him moan and scream louder!"

"Hey baby, you're looking fine today."  
"Damn, I'm liking this view of you!"

"Just wanna ram you in bed until you moan!"

"Ow, ow, baby got back!"  
"Bang bang, baby!"  
"Look at that peachy ass!"

"Nice legs, pretty boy!"  
"Woah, you have a nice ass, cutie!"

"Nice ass, fag."

"You're so cute acting all feisty and shit. I love it when you're playing hard to get, kitten."

The images of my pant being pulled by this guy. His big hands grasping on my wrists and neck. His fists taking jabs at my face. His lips, reeked of cigarettes and alcohol, are on my lips! How he fucking touched me! How he inserted something in me to feel the pain all over my body!

In...Out... In... Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out...

~ Flashback ends ~

"Tweek? Tweek..." These feelings and haunting flashbacks prove too much for me to hold on! Why are they here?! Are they here to torment me?! I fall to the ground to let out a sob. I can't take this anymore! It's a bitter pill to swallow as if there is no way to repress them that long!

"Everything is not going to and never will be fine! I broke up with Craig and I thought I turn out better without him! But no! No! No!" I come clean to her, "I had been dealing with men checking on me to make me feel uncomfortable with their disgusting comments and gestures! I encountered this one older guy outside of the market who groped and kissed me outside of the market! He also did the horrible thing to me last night: he fucking raped me! This is my fault for this and I hate myself for this!'

"Tweek..."

"No, I want to be alone and deal with it on my own! I can't face him and them! What would they think of me?! Who can I trust?! Will I trust men?! Can I trust them?!" I roll my sleeves up to show her the scars I made in the bathroom, "I did this to myself since..."

"Tweek, listen to me," she motions me to look at her, "This is not your fault for this, so don't blame yourself. He did this to you and you don't have to deal with this on your own. Don't hurt yourself because of what he did. It is never too late to ask for help."

"How? There is nobody I can turn to other than the nurse who healed me and my friend, David! I... I... I can't take it anymore. I'm planning on quit the cheer team!"

"Tweek, no! You can't quit the cheer team because of what he did. What I'm proud of is that you did tell someone you can trust. On the other hand, what you did is unhealthy and you need help right now. I promise you that you're not alone," she hugs and comforts me.

I let it all out in Ms. Wilde's embrace. The pain and suffering I'd had been bearing every day and night. The bruises and scars I've been shielding from them. These flashbacks I try to conquer. I always thought that nobody cares about me at all. But I'm wrong. My dark times are over. The storms I'm in are over. The weights are being lifted. I am breaking free! I am the person I lost and finally find!

"You're not alone," she repeats to me.

I'm not alone.

Author's note: Another reference to South Park's episode, 'Beast Cancer Show Ever' and a hint on Kitty Wilde's past on molestation from the tv show's Glee.


	14. Heidi and Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: PTSD, mentions of violence, sexual assault, self-harm, sexual harassment, self-blame, angst, and profanities! 
> 
> Disclaimer: South Park belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Ms. Wilde, Kitty Wilde, is a character from a comdey-drama TV show called Glee which actually created by Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk within the production, 20th Century Fox Television.

Chapter 14: Heidi and Tweek

Warning: PTSD,  mentions of violence, sexual assault, self-harm, sexual harassment, self-blame, angst, and profanities!

Disclaimer: South Park belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Ms. Wilde, Kitty Wilde, is a character from a  comdey -drama TV show called Glee which actually created by Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk within the production,  20th Century Fox Television.

Tweek’s point of view

I look upon the sky at Stark’s Pond. I’ve been thinking about my friends’ reaction to my ‘sexual assault’,‘self-harm’, and my previous hellish experiences with men. Though I am lucky to come clean with David, Nurse Gillian Woods, and Ms. Wilde, there is one person I still need to tell: Heidi. The person who made me feel worthy and confident inside and out. The person who taught me do much after my breakup with him. The person I look up to. The person who always there for me.

I look at my phone to see the text message I wrote and sent to her. 

Tweek : “Heidi, I need to tell you something. Meet me at Stark’s Pond.”

Heidi: “Sure, I’ll meet there.”

I don’t know what she’ll react. What if she hates me? What if I lost her as my best friend? Maybe it is all in my head. I know that Heidi is a good girl despite of everything she does in the past especially with Cartman. I can feel the shame , guilt, and humiliation piling up on me.

Heidi’s point of view 

“ Tweek , there you are,” I walk toward him. He texted me to meet him here at Stark’s Pond, “I’m worried about you. You haven’t respond ed my texts and you would cancel plans out because you’re busy and all. In addition, you were down in the dumps, quiet, distant, and different with caked makeups time after time. Not to mention, you’re covered up from head and toe. Tell me what’s going on?”

I look at him to see fear and sadness in his eyes. He ha s a quivering pout on his face. By the way he’s trembling and out of breath, his body languages tell me something’s wrong.

“ Heidi,  what would you do if there’s a boy older than you hits on you and you feel uncomfortable with it?” He questions  me.

“ Umm...  I would’ve  told him  no and  back off and walk away from him.  If he goes further, then I would’ve fight back,” I answer to him, “Why?  Tweek , is there something you have to tell me about? What this older boy you speak of did to you?”

“I… I … um…,” He falters as if he’s on the edge of tears which comes to his side to hug him, “I met this older boy. He has black hair styled in a mohawk and wears  black T-shirt, denim sagging pants, Jordan shoes, black leather jacket, and chains. He has tattoos on his left arm.”

“What did he do to you? I’m not going to be mad at you,” I assert him.

“ He… He…  He groped and kissed me outside of the market when I was buying the stuffs for David and he did awful things to me last night ,” he come clean with me, “He… He… He raped me! He fucking raped me ! He fucking raped me!”

“ Tweekie Bird…Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“Because nobody would believe a boy being raped by another boy and I’m scared of what they think of me! I’m drowning and nobody is here to save me! I can’t eat, sleep, or do anything because of it! I can’t dress what I want without judgements! I can’t go anything without having to look over my back constantly! It is too much pressure!” He goes on as I listen to what he admits to me. No wonder why he’s acting aloof and isolated, “I’ve been hiding the bruises and scar away from everybody!”

He rolls up his sleeves to see scars on his scar. He pours makeup remover on his  face and scrub his face with wipes to show bruises on his face. I gasp at the sight of the state my best friend is in. Now I know why he’s never the same person he was to me. Why,  Tweek ? Why? 

“He did this to you?” I point the wounds on his porcelain face.

“Yes, he punched and slapped me in the face when I tried to get him off of me,” he explains to me, “I cut myself because of everything. This is my fault for this and I hate myself for it! That’s it, I’m going to quit the cheer team!”

“ Tweek ie Bird , stop it! This is never your fault! It’s his fault for the pain and suffering you have to put up with! You don’t deserve all of this!” I tell him, “Don’t let him and other people try to undercut you and things you had worked hard for because of what he did to you !”

“I also had been harassed by guys at the gym and everywhere I go with their revolting comments and touches to have these uncomfortable thoughts and images in my head! I can’t trust guys because of this!”

“ Tweek , I’m sorry that you have to go through this. Did you tell anyone about it?”

“Well, three people. David, Nurse Gillian Woods, and Ms. Wilde,” he listed to me, “They’re the only people I can come to terms with my ‘sexual assault.’ The rest of them are on their phones, so they don’t give shits at all.”

Tweekie Bird... I touch his arms as I let the tears dripping on his arms.

“ Tweekie Bird, remember what happened when you told me about your breakup with Craig and the whole Buddha box bullshits from Cartman?”  I reminded him.

“Yes,” He answers to me.

“I told you that I hate to see my friend in tears and broken heart. I also hate to see my friend including you in scars, bruises, self-hate, and hopelessness.  Tweekie Bird, it is going to be okay and I’m here for you. We can fix this .”

“Okay. Heidi, I feel like I will never trust men after what happened last night .”

“ Tweekie Bird, not all men are like him.What about David? Is he nice? You worked at his restaurant and he took you home,” I say to him.

“Yes. He’s  a great guy and he’s  friend with Kyle.  Oops, sorry about that,” he apologizes to me for mentioning Kyle. 

“It’s okay . And look,  there are other men and boys you can trust like David, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Butters, Scott, Token, Jimmy, and anyone else,”  I  console him, “Even Craig.  He wanted to talk to me about you and I can tell he actually care about you.”

“Oh right,” he looks down at the pond, “I mean sure he did take me home and made a ‘romantic’ breakfast for me. It’s just I’m not sure about taking him back. I love him, but he changed so much lately since the Buddha box episode. He wasn’t the same person I fell  in love with if it wasn’t for the Asian girls and their artworks of  yaoi .”

“I know that you’re upset at Craig for this, but at least he’s not like Cartman,”  I reflect back to the times him and I used to date. He used to be who I thought of since the time when I  quitted Twitter and Cartman’s friends smashed his phone and computer. He used to be loving and kind to me to be his girlfriend regardless of criticisms from my friends. They made fun of me for dating him even if I broke up with him once. 

~ Flashback starts (at  [ Buca De  Faggoncini ](https://southpark.fandom.com/wiki/Buca_De_Faggoncini) ) ~

“We're just glad you finally came to your senses,”  Red ‘congratulates’ me for breaking things off with Cartman.  

“Yeah, no kidding. We seriously thought you might marry that piece of shit! ” blustered Annie. 

“ Well, you know, he- he actually had some good qualities too ,” I attempt to reason with them that he is ‘good’ to me in any ways.

“ Uhh , yeah, like what? Racism?”  ridiculed Red.

“Or the sociopath part?”  added Bebe.

“Yeah. I mean, no offense, Heidi, but what the fuck were you thinking?”  sneered Courtney

“Guys, she admitted she made a mistake ,” Lola trumpeted to all of my girlfriends. 

“ You make a mistake on your homework. What Heidi did was more like a momentary loss of all sanity ,” Molly pointed it out to me.

“ It was just what I believed in ,” I wasn’t having it with them making me look like a fucking idiot.

“ Don't worry, Heidi. We're not  gonna keep telling you we told you so. But we told you so ,” The girls laugh alongside Bebe’s ribbing.

“ The  only thing I  wanna know is... how did you bring yourself to actually KISS him? ”  The girls erupt waves of ‘ eww’s ’ out loud.

“ Can you imagine? Eric Cartman's breath on your mouth? ” Milly really just go there with me. 

“ Heidi, come here. I want to kiss you with my tongue! ” Courtney literally did her impersonation of Cartman to take the cake to amuse them further.

~ Flashback ends ~

Out of my frustration over the girls’ lack of support, I went crawling back to Cartman to mold myself into his own off-putting persona. I regret the days I lashed out on my friends. The days I degraded Kyle and his own people. The days I made myself a victim only to  cause more and more dramas.  The day where I ruined the special education science fair project. The day I took him back after weeks and months of his  bullshits. 

Thank god, I  finally  broke up with him at the time of the President’s terrorization on South Park. I open my eyes to what an insufferable person  he  is and he will never turn over a new leaf. Yes, I had to deal with the glares, whispers, and cold shoulders from the people in my school. Especially Kyle. The only person who understands me and tries to help me all these times. He’s a wonderful guy and I let him slipping away out of my hands by  pushing him away or at least treating him like shit. I can evaluate that Cartman is one of the  person who fuck everything up and never own up to them; instead, he  fucking  gets away with it!

Then again, if it wasn’t for him then I wouldn’t befriend with  Tweek . I know he’s full of anxiety, obsessed with coffee, and  is  eccentric. Deep inside is a sweetheart and a force to be reckoned with. I can see how he’s more than just Craig’s boyfriend. In fact, he’s the one person who’s forgiving to me and I get it. 

Currently, I see how  Tweek is real.  Tweek did express genuine feelings and thoughts about his anxiety, pain and suffering. Mainly ho w this o lder guy he met outside of the market  inflict trauma and injuries on him . Cartman, on the other hand, only sheds fake tears for attention. I even recall his ‘suicide prevention awareness’ I was dragged. And look at the damages being made thanks to him! Worst of all is how people fall for his bullshits and ignore the problems and everything that are out there! Including  Tweek’s own ‘boyfriend!’ 

‘I’m going to bring you back,  Tweekie Bird. I promise,’ I pledged to myself, ‘ I am not going to make the same mistake ever again, so I am not going to leave  Tweekie  Bird behind !’

“ Tweek , let’s get you to a hospital for your arms,” I tell him, “Stay strong,  Tweekie Bird. Stay strong.”

“Okay,” he nods at me as I wrap my arm around him and take him to the hospital. 

No one’s point of view

Heidi takes  Tweek to the hospital where they meet Gillian Woods, the nurse who cared for  Tweek back to health.

“I’m sorry,”  Tweek whispers to Heidi.

“Don’t  Tweek , you don’t deserve the pain and suffering. It’s going to be okay,” Heidi rubs her hand on  Tweek’s arms as Gillian Woods is sewing his scars. 

“Thank you for watching over your friend,” Gillian Woods lightly pats  Tweek’s arms.

“No problem, nurse,” Heidi put her heart over her chest in relief , “ Tweek talks to me about his ‘sexual assault’ with an older guy plus the sexual harassment from guys in the past weeks.

“Call me Nurse Gillian Woods if you like,” addressed the African-American woman. 

“I also want you to  tell you  that  Tweek is not okay. He has been having these thoughts and feelings time after time and from I see, he has been distancing himself. I tried to call him about plans to hang out, but he would decline. Whenever he’s outside, he has to look over his back constantly. He didn’t eat, sleep, or do anything,” Heidi confesses to Nurse Gillian Woods.

Nurse Gillian Woods, shocked at what Heidi bring to light to her, said to the two friends, “By the condition your friend is in time after time, he’s more likely to be diagnosed with PTSD or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.”

“Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?”  Tweek gulps at the word ‘Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder’. It horrifies the shit out of him to  falter on his lap . 

“Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is when a person, young and old, experience critical emotions of fear, anxiety, stress, anger, and grief after a recent or past alarming occurrence. Recent or past alarming occurrence can be from the war, natural disasters, abuse, sexual assault/rape like what  your friend had suffered, and more,” Gillian Woods educates them, “Symptoms of PTSD like your friend have recently includes nightmares, flashbacks, mistrust, social isolation, panic attacks, and depression.”

“How long does PTSD last?”  Tweek utters out  concerningly . 

“PTSD lasts about months or years,” she answers.

“Months or years? ! ” 

“Yes, PTSD is something powerful that people including you have a hard time coping.”

“What can we do now?” worried Heidi and turns to  Tweek who is now crying.

“Well...” Gillian Woods did a long talk with the two friends on treatments for PTSD such as counseling, support group, and therapy . She also advises them that it is okay to feel this strong wave of emotions and there are so many people with PTSD; never suppress them because it will become worse and worse.

“Most of all, it is essential to be there for your friend to understand and support,” she advises to Heidi and  Tweek , “Anxiety is not something people would joke nor use it as excuses for their own selfishness.”

~ Time skips (almost a week of the football game) ~

Thanks to Heidi by his side,  Tweek is  gradually  able to get his shits together on himself. He starts to improve his academics much to Ms. Wilde’s commendation. He socializes with his friends more often especially the girls. To make up for missing cheer practices, he works to the  bones hours by hours with Heidi. He even dismisses or ignores Cartman whenever Cartman is there much to his friends’ surprise. Although he still conceals the bruises on his face and the scars on his arms 

“I can’t believe  Tweek ! That bitching little cunt!” fumed Cartman as he rants on and on about how  Tweek ‘ruins his life.’

“ I can’t believe  Tweek called him out for his bullshits!”  shooked David , ignoring his  obese classmate, “ And I’m going to beat the shit out of his lardy ass for slapping  Tweek in the face.”

“I know right, we put up with his bullshits for way too long and someone finally  silent him ,” Kyle can feel  a sense of pride for this day.

“Hey guys,”  Tweek greets the two boys.

“ Tweek ,  you’re back!” David hugs  Tweek , “You’re okay?”

“Yep,  Better than ever!”

“Are you kidding?! I saw you revile at Cartman on his bullshits without Craig!” Kyle and Tweek both squeal at each other to celebrate with high-fives.

“ Tweek , guess what day is it?” announcing David a sing-song voice.

“Today is Friday, why?”  Tweek raises his eyebrow.

“Friday is the football game and you’re cheering for our team!” 

“Are you excited?”

“Let’s slay this football game and we’re going to win!” Tweek throws his fist in the air.

~ Time skips (at  Tweek’s house) ~

Tweek and Heidi, changed into their cheerleading uniforms, are doing each other’s hairs and makeups consist of their school’s colors, black, white, and green. They put gems on their faces for their finishing touches. 

“We …”

“ Are …”

“ On  fleek as fuck!” They  shrill simultaneously.

“Inside and out,”  Tweek added.

“Well learned,  Tweekie Bird,” Heidi smiles upon her friend.

“You taught that all of the glorious things come from within,”  Tweek notes to Heidi,  “What time is the football game?”

“6 o’clock,”  Heidi reminds him , “Though we  still have time since right now it is 4:30pm , we need to get there as soon as possible ! ”

“Hell no! We are not going to be fashionably late! Let’s get our asses moving!”  Tweek snaps his finger. Heidi and  Tweek bolt around to pack their stuff in their bags and downstairs to leave the house. 

On their way, they race to their school’s football field as the clock is ticking.

“We did it!” Heidi shouts as she along with Tweek are panting from so much running, “Want to go over the drills?”   
“All right, let’s do it!” Tweek and Heidi work together to practice the moves, stunts, and chants. Thanks to the hours of exercising through everything he has to start over from scratch, he manages to correct what he misses and apply it perfectly let alone pushing himself to keep going and never give up. On top of that, his ‘sexual assault’ incident gives him an edge in the confidence department. 

“You’re ready now, Tweek,” Heidi pats Tweek on the shoulder for encouragement, “You got this!”   
“Yeah!”

“Have a drink and the football game will start in half an hour,”  Tweek nods as he and Heidi go to their bags to drink some refreshing water and lemonades. 

“Nervous?” 

“Umm... Yeah,”  Tweek nods at Heidi.

“I’m here for you and if you’re panicking or not feeling okay, let me know,” Heidi’s words alleviate  Tweek’s anxiety, “Stand your ground and fight through uphill battles.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s notes: I did a throwback to South Park’s Doubling Down which is on season 21, episode 7. I also did references to the previous chapters of this fanfiction.


	15. Craig gets Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Trey Parker and Matt Stone owns South Park.

Chapter 15: Craig Gets Tweek

No one's point of view

"Hold it. Hold it. Hold it," urged Tweek to himself as he's doing the bow and arrow stretch. With all his might, he is able to maintain balance and flexibility, "And done!"

"You got this Tweek!" Heidi cheers on her friend, patting him on the shoulder, "By the way, how's your wrists doing?"

Tweek checks over his wrists. The scars he had, stitches in black threads, are slightly pink, yet white to show some signs of gradual recovery. He sighs austerely at them.

"Don't be bad, Tweek," sympathized Heidi, "Everything will be okay. We are going take baby steps."

~ Meanwhile at the boys' locker room ~

"No, no, no! You are not going to talk to Tweek!" confronted David.

"Why the fuck not?!" shouted Craig to shove David against the locker, "I just want to talk to Tweek!"

Clank!

"Woah, woah, woah! Hey, hey! What the hell is going on here?!" Kyle protests at the two squabbling boys. He and Stan are restraining David to not make the locker room into a scene.

"Chill man!" Token is holding onto Craig alongside Clyde, "There is no time for you guys to fight like two seven-year-old boys over a truck in the playground!"

"You broke Tweek's heart over that thing! You're the reason why Tweek's crying every day and night!" David lashes out on Craig.  
"At least he cares about him enough to took him home and made him breakfast like a romantic boyfriend!" rebuffed Clyde.

"I cooked him a meal at my restaurant and took him home as well. While you're on your phone at home, I care about Tweek more when he's having a fricking panic attack because of one pervertido having the audacity to groped and kissed him outside of the market!" David shouts at him, "To add fuel to fire, Tweek have to deal with these pigs making disgusting comments at him! And by the way, Tweek lambasted the fatass on his bullshits on his own without anyone's else. He is capable more than he thinks even if Cartman laid a finger on him!"

"What?!" The boys scream out loud.

"Asswipes! That fat shit! That lewd fucker!" Craig loudly curses out to pound his fist into his hand, "I'm going to kill these shitheads!"

"We can do that later," reminded Token, "We're playing against the Beavers!"

"I'm warning you," David intimidated Craig, "If you ever hurt Tweek again, I'm going to kick your ass."  
"David, don't" Kyle tells David.

Craig nods his head, "You can say that again. I'm going to win this for Tweek because I love him too much to be a fool for losing him in the first place."

The Cows football teammates including David, Kyle, Stan, Token, Clyde, and Craig are coming out of the locker room to go to the field. There are people sitting down on the bleachers along with Jimmy, Kenny, Butters, and their classmates. Even PC principal, Strong Woman, and oh god, Stan's dad, Randy!

"Woo! Go Stan go! Wooooooooooooo!" hollered Randy thunderously to give Ric Flair a run for his money much to Stan's chagrin, "Kick their asses, Stan! Woooooooooo!"

"Randy," Sharon cover her eyes with her hands as she watches her husband makes a fool out of himself.

"Oh my fucking god," Stan facepalms himself to the point where he remembered what happened on baseball seasons, "Why does it have to be my dad?!"

~ Flashback starts ~

"What'd you say?!"

"You heard me, asshole!"

"You want me to kick your ass right here?!"

"You want a piece of me?! 'Cause I'm pretty sick of your Goddamned mouth!"

"You'd better shut up, asshole!"

"I'm standin' right here! How do you wanna handle it?"

"I told you to SHUT UP!"

"Fort Collins can't play!"

"Why don't you shut your mouth before I kick your ass!"

"Come on, let's go! I'm right here!"

"Sit down before you get hurt!"

"Oh, I'm sorry! Why don'tcha get 'im on chars in America, I'm sorry!"

"Goddamnit Brian, swing!"

"Greeley sucks! Greeley sucks!"

"What, is this a Communist country or something?! I thought this was America!"

"¡Vamonos Pueblo! ¡Viva la Pueblo!"

"¡Pueblo, no bueno! ¡Pueblo es muy mal!"

"This is America! This is an honest America!"

~ Flashback ends ~

"At least he's the only one without a Buddha box," assured Kyle to his super best friend, "Unlike certain somebodies!"

If Kyle mentions about certain somebodies, then he means by his parents for his arch nemesis's bullshit. Plus, he still reminisces the outrageous things his parents did. For example, his dad is the mastermind behind the whole Skankhunt42 scheme to polarize the boys and girls; ruining the life of an Olympic gold-medal winner and breast cancer survivor from Denmark, Freja Ollegard. Let's not forget the 'Yelper' era. On top of that is his mother's liberal over-exaggeration over two Candian characters, Terrance and Phillip leading to the world's devastation. He still regrets nuking Canada as a millennial for one inconsiderate motive: His 'love' for Heidi.

Recently, he is done with being shitted by everybody no matter what he does. especially Heidi. He's fallen out of love with her. Every time he bumps into Heidi, he treats Heidi like she is a virus to him. He would give her cold shoulders, dirty looks, and mockeries. Overall, he totally hates her guts after months of hard times from her.

~ Flashback starts ~

"Who cares about her? I knew she is nothing than trouble from the start, so shame on me for even give a damn about her," sneered Kyle, "I just want to send a message on how karma bites her in the ass for dating the fatass."

Craig's point of view

I run my eye over to Tweek who is doing a fucking backflip split! Holy shit, I'm fucking turned on by him! How he looks fucking cute and sexy from head to toe. The way he did the splits. Oh yeah, I can't forget his ass in a skirt and some weird-ass lacy underpants. Oh, it is not underpants; it is fucking panties all right! Damn, Tweek, damn. My doll. My angel. My princess.

"No, no, no, Tucker! If you want Tweek so badly, you have to win this for him!" David pull me away from my cute little blonde cheerleader, "Don't be a gilipollas!"

"I don't know what that means, but I'm not giving up on him! I love him!" I tell him, "I may not be the perfect boyfriend to him, but he's my world!"

"Prove it,Tucker!" His words 'Prove it,Tucker' rings me like a bell as I gaze back at Tweek who is smiling and waving at our team. Tweek, I love you, honey. I love you and I'm prove it to you. David is right. Let's do this for Tweek! Game on, Beavers!

No one's point of view

The game has just started and the Cows football team is huddled up with their coach to win the game through motivation and preservance. They nod in agreement to let out a 'huh!' and position themselves in the football, facing towards their opponents, the Beavers.

The whistle is being blown to indicate the initial play on the field. The person in the middle have a coin to flip to see who gets the ball. One opponent chooses head, while the other opponent chooses tail. The coin lands on his hand to see that it is head, so the Cows get the ball first.

"Hut!" the football is served under to Stan who is the quarterback of the team.

"Hut, hut!" Stan scoots back and make a throw at Craig whom he successfully catches it. With football in his hands, he speeds up to the other end of the field, dodging the attacking Beavers players. Fortunately, he scores his first win to have everybody cheering. He looks at Tweek who is waving his pom-poms and smiling at him. Feeling glorified to see the look on Tweek's face, he winks and blows a kiss at him.

Tweek, witnessing Craig giving him a blow kiss, blushes and looks away from him. He holds his chest out to feel his heart fluttering.

'Why? Why did he did that to me? Did he love me? Should I feel the same about him? Why do I have to fall for him intentionally?' He is so deep in his thoughts that he feels an elbow nudging at him. He turns to see Wendy.

"Are you okay, Tweek? You're acting very weird," concerned Wendy. She looks at where Tweek is staring at before telling him, "Is it Craig you have your eyes on?"

He nods at her while covering his face with his hands. She can hear him uttering under his breath, "Gah! I think I'm still in love with him! My ex out of all people! Why?!"

Wendy sighs at Tweek. She understands where this is coming from. She and Stan used to date back then; She broke up with him due to how he left her stranded to do his misadventures with his friends plus she wants to date Token.

Yet, in her heart, she still has feelings for him, although he acted disgruntled towards her. Until when the girls are doing the list to rank the boys from cutest to ugliest which they worked together to reveal Bebe as the ringleader for this mess because she's using Clyde for shoes at his father's shop.

Their relationship perpetuates to be a light switch with their arguments and flaws and the Skankhunt42 episode. Prevalently, they are friends and making strides to rekindle their romance.

Throughout the game, scores are being tallying up to be a tie as they manage to earn touchdowns after touchdowns. It's neck and neck for the Cows and Beavers. They endure through fumbles, tackles, and turnovers. Craig, panting and drinking water from his bottle, glance at the group of cheerleaders who are doing their chants, tricks, flips, and the liberty stunt. As usual, he is impressed by his ex-boyfriend's finesse and elasticity. He groans at himself for driving him away to miss all of him.

"Ahhh! My ankle!" his mind is defered by the voice of one of his fellow teammates. It is Kyle.

"Kyle, are you okay?"

"Oh my god, Kyle!"

Stan and David are on their knees beside Kyle as the red-haired boy is grasping on his ankle. Pain is written all over his face.

"Timeout!" Token makes a T-letter gesture with his hands at the coach. The coach blows the whistle and dash across the field to see what's going on.

"All right Broflovski, let's have this ankle of yours taken care of. You're not playing from now on because of your injury," the coach advises to him. Stan and David help him stand and walk cautiously to the bench. The coach wraps the injured boy's ankle in bandages.

"What are we going to do?!" exclaimed Token.

"We're going to lose I'm telling you! We're going to lose," Clyde loses it to the point that Craig slaps him in the face.

"Clyde, get a hold of yourself! We're not going to fucking lose!" snapped Craig at his brunet best friend, "There's only one way to win this game and I'm going to do it!"

He glimpses back at Tweek who is waving his poms and poms in the air to the crowd amidst the cheerleaders before putting his helmet back on, "This is for you, Tweek. Everybody, get into fucking position! Hustle!"

The rest of his team obey his order to get into position. The whistle is blown to resume the game. This is the last game and it's anyone game.

"Hut!"

Full of anticipation, Craig zips through the field to find the spot Stan can pass to him. Spotting an empty area without any of his opponents in sight, he beat them to the punch to shout, "I'm open!"

As Stan catapults the ball at a long distance to Craig, Craig successfully catches it and clamber his way to the end of the field. While the Beavers are making their way to tackle him, he dodges them and keeps going. What motivates him to never back down is the sound of Tweek's voice from afar.

Committed to his vow to do it for Tweek, he finally reaches to the end of the yard to win a touchdown for his team. The crowd are clapping and roaring like they would do it in the Superbowl or any stadiums they attend to as well as the cheerleaders and his teammates. Tweek stands there, smiling at how the game turns out. Even his ex-boyfriend.

His teammates are about to go to Craig to congratulate him. However, he pushes past them to make a beeline for the blonde cheerleader. His beloved blonde cheerleader, Tweek Tweak. His everything. His pride and joy.

"Tweek!" Craig calls to him.

Tweek turns to see Craig. He is at bliss to see him.

"Craig!"

Filled with joy and amazement, he rushes at him for a hug. Having Tweek in his arms, he spins him around and carries him princess-style. Yep, just like he does when he took him home and in his dream.

"Craig, I...I can't believe you did it! But why?" said Tweek.

"Because... because I am doing it for you! I miss you and I love you!" Craig admits it to Tweek.

"I... I..." Tweek is taken aback by Craig's words. Craig finds it as an opportunity to swoop down for a kiss on Tweek's lips. Tweek, much to his surprise, eventually kisses him back romantically and passionately.

As they pause for air, they can hear the hurrahs, whistles, and oohs coming from their teammates, cheer mates, and the crowd. Randy eagerly have out his phone to snap a picture at them along with Sharon, Jimmy, and everybody else.

"Craig, umm... will you... will y-you go out with me?" Tweek's face redden to look away from him.

Craig chuckles huskily at him to give him a kiss on the cheek and lips. He presses his forehead on Tweek, smiling at him, "My doll, I love to."

Tweek kisses Craig on the lips elatedly. Craig is on cloud nine to get Tweek back. Champions deserve all of the kisses. Especially from his cute little blonde cheerleader, the boy of his dream.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Auther's note: I did more throwbacks to the previous seasons and episodes from South Park in this chapter (I'm on a roll!).


	16. Disastrous First Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own South Park or anything else. South Park belongs to Matt Stone and Trey Parker. The movie, Isn't It Romantic, is created by Todd Strauss-Schulson, Erin Cardillo, Dana Fox, Katie Silberman, and Grant Scharbo within Warner Bros. Pictures. 
> 
> Warning: Sexual assault, violence, profanities, and anything else that are inappropriate.

Chapter 16: Disastrous First Date 

“Craig, I can’t believe this is your first date with Tweek!” squealed Clyde. 

“It is just a first date, so it’s not a big deal,” Craig is in his usually clothes. His signature blue jacket, black jean, and blue chullo hat with a yellow pom-pom. 

“Dude, it’s been weeks or months since Tweek broke up with you. I mean you’re a mess without Tweek,” Clyde puts it in text at his raven-haired best friend, “And dude, you’re not wearing that to a first date with Tweek!” 

“What’s wrong with it?” Craig raises his eyebrow at him. 

“It’s too plain, simple, and boo-ring!” impersonated Clyde in his sing song voice, “Boo!” 

“Yep, nice and boring. Just the way I like it,” stated Craig.  

“No offense Craig, but you need to wear something impressive for Tweek,” Token sides with Clyde, “I mean while you’re on your phone, Tweek dresses dainty and glamorous.” 

Token takes out and shows his phone to Clyde, Craig, and Clyde. The picture on his phone reveals Tweek in a blush pink dress, white fur coat, and rose gold thigh-high heels with a pink rose crown and gold jewelries. He even have full-face makeup which he looks absolutely angelic. 

“Tweek looks r-r-ravishing like Ariana G-Grande,” stammered Jimmy, “He sings as good as her when he auditioned for the talent show.” 

“I agree with you, Jimmy,” Clyde backs Jimmy up, “He looks marvelous like a model!” 

“Guys, can you not make goo-goo eyes or Ariana Grande references at my boyfriend?! Don’t call him a model!”  

“Hey, you snooze, you lose when you viewed Tweek as second best,” remarked Token. 

“Hey you fuckboys, I overheard what you guys say about a first date with Tweekie Bird,” the four boys turn around to see Tricia, Craig’s little sister, standing at the door of his room, “Red even sent me a picture of Craig’s kissing Tweekie Bird at the football game. Second of all, you need to put some efforts on that outfit of yours.” 

“Ha! Told you, Craig!” Clyde sticks his tongue out at Craig. In return, Craig flips him off. 

“Okay, can we not?! I got out of the Buddha box and I love Tweek!”  

“Sure, I r-r-remember you playing f-f-footsies with Tweek under the table when we’re having pizzas after the football game,” reminded Jimmy. 

“Or how you dance with him on the dance floor,” added Token, “When there’s karaoke, you and Craig give each other flirtatious looks.” 

“Let’s not forget how you’re a pervert to him when Tweek is about to bend over to pick up his stuffs,” Clyde gives him a smirky look, “We know that it’s you that sends Tweek bouquets of flowers and some sappy poems.” 

“No, I’m not!” 

“Yes, you are! What’s the color of Tweek’s underpants?” Token scrunches his face at Clyde for idiotically ask Craig that question. 

“Really Clyde?” idled Token. 

“Dude, back off of Tweek. Tweek’s pantie is white,” Craig blushes at his statement about Tweek’s ‘underpants/pantie.’ He still didn’t get the image of Tweek’s ass and his white lacy pantie off of his mind. 

“Damn Craig!” Jimmy and Clyde leer at Craig for being a pervert to Tweek. 

“You guys, there’s no time for this! Tweek will be here!” asserted Token. 

“Big bro, I’m giving you a makeover, so you can get Tweekie Bird to fall head over heels with you,” Tricia opens his brother’s closet and survey every fabric, “What about this?” 

Tricia lays the clothes on his bed. It’s a black band tee, blue jeans, blue and black letterman jacket, black leather belt, and white and black high tops.  

“I even brought you a mint-flavored mouth spray and coffee cologne,” she gives them to Craig. 

“For a six-year-old brat, you’re not half bad about these kinds of things,” admitted Craig. 

“Hey, I learn them from cousin Red,” answered Tricia, “Let’s just say Red gives me magazines to look at.” 

“Craig, I didn’t know you and Red are cousins,” shocked Clyde. 

“My dad and my uncle, Skeetar, are brothers,” Craig tells him.  

“One thing Craig, lose the hat,” advised Tricia, “Do it for Tweek.” 

Craig sighs as he takes off his hat to reveal his thick black hair. His ears perk up to the sound of the doorbell. 

Ding! Dong! 

“Oh fuck, I better hurry up!” Craig gathers the things his younger sister provides him to go to the bathroom. He picks up a comb to brush his hair and spray some cologne on his neck, chest, and wrists.  

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of this,” Tricia reassured Jimmy, Clyde, and Token, “Tell Craig to never break Tweekie’s heart.” She exits out of his brother’s room and go downstairs to get the door. 

Tricia opens the door to see Tweek in a white dress oversized hoodies and light blue thigh-high boots. He has cute rings and hair clips. His face looks ethereal in peachy pink lips and white gold eyeshadows. He even has a green purse strapped on one shoulder. 

“Oh my god Tweek, you look so darling!”  

“Thanks!” smiled Tweek to make him look extra lovable, “Where’s Craig?” 

“Oh, he’s getting ready. Hold on for a second,”  

“Okay,”  

“Craig Thomas Tucker, you better get your lazy ass downstairs because Tweek is here!” shouted Tricia. 

“All right, you little turd!” Craig bellows back at her. 

Tweek takes deep breaths before catching the eyes of Craig. His heart is flailing at the beauty of the stoic boy.  

“Okay, I will leave you two alone.” 

“Hi Craig, you look… woah!” Tweek is flustered in a good way. He can feel butterflies in his tummy.  

“Looking cute and gorgeous as always, babe,” Craig pulls him closer to kiss him on the lips. 

“Damn, Craig,” purred Tweek as he smooches his man back.  

“Ahem!” They are stopped by Tricia and Token and a flash of light from Clyde’s phone. 

“That’s enough of PDA, kids,” intervened Token. 

“Don’t be a buzzkill, Token! They are so precious for each other! They’re growing up so fast!” gushed Clyde. 

“Hey Craig, what place you’re taking Tweek to?” asked Jimmy 

“Umm…” Craig scratches the back of his neck as he tries to come up the perfect place for” his first date with Tweek. 

“How about the carnival?” suggested Tweek. 

“A carnival sounds so much fun,” beamed Clyde in glee. 

“I hear there is a carnival near this town,” Jimmy hands out a small flyer to them, “It’s at 5:30pm.” 

“Thanks Jimmy,” appreciated Craig. Craig turns to Tweek and carry him princess style. 

“Craig, you know I can walk,” Tweek informs his black-haired date. 

“Tweek, you’re in heels,” Token pointed out to the blonde boy. 

“No shit, Sherlock,” noted Tricia. 

“Not to mention, you’re as light as a doll,” commented Craig. 

“No, I’m not,” rebuffed Tweek. 

“Yes, you are,” Craig opens the door and head outside with Tweek, “Bye guys!”   
“Good luck,” Jimmy lets out his iconic smile. 

“You go have some fun, kids!” hollered Clyde much to Token’s embarrassment. 

“So, what are we going to do?” added Token out of curiosity. 

“I’m going to watch Isn't It Romantic in my room, while you guys can do whatever you want,” Tricia heads off upstairs to her room. 

“Let’s hope how this date turns out,” wondered Jimmy as Token and Clyde both nod at each other. 

“Again, Tweek did look like Ariana Grande to his Craig as Pete Davidson,” insinuated Clyde only to receive glares from Token and Jimmy. 

~ With Craig and Tweek ~ 

“So... it’s been long I’ve seen you since the Buddha box,” Tweek is upset at the words ‘Buddha box’ coming out of Craig’s mouth, yet he’s maintaining his patience.  

“Yeah, I’m now in cheerleading and doing my own things in my spare time. I’m still working at the coffee shop,” shared Tweek in a bittersweet tone, “I’ve been doing better. How are you?” 

“Umm… to be honest, I feel like shit,” admitted Craig. 

“Really, how so?” Tweek raise an eyebrow at him. 

“I got after school detentions for being late to class because I overslept. I forgot to take care of Stripes. I did shit on my works,” Craig explains to his blonde boyfriend, “Tricia is only sensible person in my household.” 

“That makes a lot of senses.” 

“Of course, I forgot about you,” Craig carries on to Tweek. 

“What about me? Is it why we are going on this date?” 

“Well, yes. Tweek, I have realized that you’re the only one I want and love the most. I couldn’t trade you for anything. I can’t stand the thought of losing you because of me,” Craig opens his feelings to Tweek.  

“Craig, I... I... I,” Tweek is stunned by what Craig is saying out of his mouth. It is very unlike of Craig to express touching words or emotions. He’s a boy who always flip everybody off and is apathetic with almost everybody. Hell, communication is his kryptonite when played as Super Craig in the superhero game. 

“I know I'm the one causing the pain you have to endure all by yourself and you probably have every right to be upset at me for leaving you in the dirt,” sympathized Craig, “I’m sorry for everything. I can do anything to get your trust back.” 

“If you put it this way,” Tweek moves his lips toward Craig’s cheek for a kiss, “You may not be perfect to be boyfriend material, but at least you’re not like Cartman at all. Please don’t ever break my heart again.” 

“I won’t, honey,” He dive down to Tweek’s lips. Tweek moans in pleasure at the passion coming from his boyfriend; his mind dials back to the horrible scene of his sexual assault. 

~ Flashback starts ~ 

Th sound of his crying echoes as he is pinned down on the ground by the same older guy from outside of the market. The same older guy who kissed and groped him to pushed him on the edge of a panic attack.  

He still never forgets how he is on top of him, revoltingly kissing from head to toes. How he ripped his clothes out. How he drills in him with his erected manhood.  

In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... 

~ Flashback ends~ 

“Hey tiger, let’s hurry our asses up to the carnival!” reminded Tweek, pulling Craig’s hands rapidly. 

“Oh demanding,” smirked Craig, kissing Tweek’s lips one more time. 

~ 10 minutes later (when they make it to the carnival) ~ 

“Two tickets, please,” Tweek is about to reach into his purse for money, but Craig beats him to the punch where he takes out his wallet and give the dollars at the . 

The man hands them two tickets and say to them, “Good luck, lovebirds.” 

“Thanks, Craig. But you don’t have to do that for me,” gratified Tweek as they approach the woman who are putting their tickets in the box and stamping their hands. 

“Sure, I can, Tweek,” He wraps around Tweek. Tweek presses himself against Craig, burying his face in his neck.  

“Hey babe, what do you want to do?” Craig asks Tweek. He notices  

“Oh, let’s go for the big rides,” Tweek grins at Craig devilishly.  

“Damn, honey, since when you’re a risk-taker?” amazed Craig. 

“Since our breakup,” Tweek swings his hips when walking to the carnival rides. Craig gazes at the way Tweek is carelessly flaunting his asset.  

‘I love that boy,’ He admired to himself.  

~ Time skips ~ 

Craig and Tweek went on abundant rides, including the Ferris wheel where they first kiss at the top which leads them to make out with each other. The guy who’s working on the Ferris wheel becomes grossed out to say, “Keep it PG!” 

They have a lot of fun mainly Tweek to Craig’s incredulity to the point where the adrenaline is filling the blonde boy up. He expected Tweek to freak out at the snap of a finger, yet he’s wrong. Mirth, he goes from giggling to exploding into a fit of laughter, accidentally let out a snort.  

Craig hugs him from behind, ruffling Tweek’s wild blonde hair and kissing Tweek’s cheeks, “You’re cuter when you laugh. This is why I love you so much.” 

They are interrupted by the snarling sound coming from their stomachs. Tweek giggles and said to Craig, “Want something to eat?” 

“Sure, princess,” Craig take his hand and lead him to the area where there are picnic tables, food trucks and booths.  

Here, they are seated in a picnic table, eating a funnel cake drizzled in strawberries, whipped cream, caramel sauce, and Nutella. Of course, Craig has a dog bag filled with carnival foods for his friend, Clyde. Mainly Mexican foods. The most romantic part is how Tweek is on Craig’s lap as he is being fed by Craig and vice versa. Sometimes Craig sneaks in kisses even if there is something on his lips.  

“One thing I love about you is that you have a sweet tooth for a sweetheart,” Craig nuzzles Tweek’s neck while grabbing his ass.  

“Stop it, Craig,” Tweek winks at him to earn him another kiss on the lips.  

~ Time skips (when they get to play some carnival games) ~ 

“Wow, I have such a good time with you, Craig!” Tweek is holding a light yellow fluffy puppy plushie.  

“Yep and I am so happy.” 

“First is when you took me home. Second, you won the football game for me. And now is our actually first date,” Tweek caught a glimpse of an unexpected person. The same guy outside of the market. The same guy who violated him twice. Though he feels speechless, what alleviates the situation is Craig.  

“Anything for my baby, Tweekie Bird,” Craig embrace him and kisses him on the forehead, “Hey, I’m going to get something to drink. I’m thirsty. Do you want one?” Tweek ask Craig. 

“Oh no thanks, baby,” insisted Craig, “Take your time.” 

Tweek makes his way to a booth where they’re selling beverages. He ends up choosing a freshly-squeezed lemonade. Wolfing down his ice-cold drink, he nearly spit his drink out to see a familiar face. The guy who raped him.  

‘He’s everything wherever I go! Why the hell he’s here?! I’m on this date with Craig and he has to waltz his way here in this carnival!’ enraged Tweek in his mind, ‘Oh no! Not them again!’ 

Stuck in his thoughts, he can feel a cold hand firmly clasping on his ass. He frantically turn around to see him. He dreads seeing the sadistic look on him comparable to the devil scaring the shit out of Satan or Grim Reaper.  

“Hey tight ass,” He blatantly greets him.  

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Tweek derides him as he slaps his hand off of his ass, “What do you want from me?!” 

“I didn’t know you’re going to be here.” 

“Actually, I have a boyfriend with me,” answered Tweek 

“Who? The guy with the blue letterman jacket? Why on earth would you go out with that dick when you can be with me?” Tweek's blood boils from zero to thousands from his mouth, “I mean I give the best night ever in your life.” 

Tweek isn’t having it with him. How dare he talk shit about Craig? How dare he impudently tells him to be with him? Thinking of him being his boyfriend after the detestable things he did to him. He blamed himself because of him. He self-harmed himself because of him. Because of him, he feels trapped physically and emotionally. He still has scars and bruises all over his body. He can still hear the voices in his head. 

~ Flashback starts ~ 

"Tight ass." 

"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!" 

"You're even sexier without clothes on." 

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night." 

In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... 

~ Flashback ends ~ 

“No! No fucking way! I would never go out with a deplorable and depraved dipshit like you!” Tweek tells him off in his face, “I said no to you, but you didn’t listen! You got some balls to rape the shit out of me! Get the fuck away from me! Leave me alone! I hate you!” 

Tweek storms off away from him. Before he can survey the area to look for Craig, he feel a tight grip on his wrist. 

“You little prick!” He trails the petite blonde boy out of the carnival and into a vacant parking lot far away from a factory and football stadium. He clashes Tweek down on the ground; lay him on the front of his car. Yep, the same car Tweek was abducted in. His purse and prize plushie are being thrown aside.  

“You’re a fucking bastard!” Tweek seethes at him to smack him in the face. Despite his valor, he is trembling as his panic attack is about to kick in. He’s encountered by a punch to the face and a dense constraint to his throat.  

“You’re a pussy-ass cunthole!” His body mounts over Tweek’s dainty frame. He begins to kiss him forcibly much to Tweek’s discomfort. He resists the impulse of moaning, shouting, and crying. He tries to get him off of him, but he’s too powerful.  

“Oh baby, let me fuck you so good!” He rubs circles on Tweek’s ass and forces himself in him, “You know love, I’ve always wanted to jack you off. Do you enjoy the way I make you moan and cum?!” 

~ Flashback starts ~ 

"Tight ass." 

"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!" 

"You're even sexier without clothes on." 

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night." 

In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... 

~ Flashback ends ~ 

Tweek’s point of view  

What can I do now?! It is too much pressure! I can’t move my body because of him and his weight! My phone is in my purse which I can’t reach it to call Craig! Craig, where are you?!  

‘No Tweek, you’re capable more than you think,’ I give myself a wake-up call. My mind races back to the time I stood up to Cartman and how I confess my own trauma to Heidi who she is the one who lighten me up. I learn that I’m not doing it for them; I’m doing it for me! I need to take control! I’m worth something! 

“No!” I ball my fists up to crown him in the jaw and kick him in his crutch. Getting off of his shitty-ass car, I tackle him down to bust him up. This is what he gets for raping me out of me and parts of me! I had enough with this shit! 

Huffing our for air, I slowly rose up. I face him one more time in advance to kick him in the stomach three times. 

“Don’t you ever do this shit on me again, jackass! You may have raped me once, but not today!” I spit his face and go get my purse and stuffed puppy, “Get out of my sight and I will see you in hell!” 

Even if I’m in heels, I keep on whisking my way to the carnival from that hellhole. I don’t dare looking back at that hellhole. I guess I’m going to be okay. I can defend myself whenever I deal with these situations. I feel a sense of triumphant and anxiety for everything. When I make it to the carnival, I eventually find Craig who is coming at me. 

“Tweek! I’ve been looking for you! Where have you been? What happened to your face?” Craig yanks me closer. His coffee-scented cologne and warmth soothe me of the repulsive things from him and these men. One thing I find him pleasing rather than off-putting out of all of these men is how he has a heart of gold. He does care about me!  

“I went to the bathroom after drinking some lemonade and I fell on the way to search for you,” I explain to him. I repent lying to him; however, I don’t want our relationship to be ruined by everybody I’d endured. If I did, then he will break up with me! I don’t want to be a bad boyfriend! What should I do?  

“Are you okay?” Craig hugs me. I can feel his lips on my forehead and the bruise on my face. Yep, the bruise made by the guy who raped me. 

“Yes, I’m okay. I think I want to go home,” I tell him. 

“Sure honey,” He hold my hand as he walks out to the exit. 

“Thank you for this first date,” I kiss him on the lips. I can taste mint in his kiss instead of cigarettes and alcohol.  

No one’s point of view  

They are at the front of Tweek’s house. Tweek and Craig both share their kiss. They smile at each other as their eyes meet each other. Tweek’s subtle viridescent hazel eyes and Craig’s heavenly dark blue eyes sparkle to resemble land and water or peridot and lapis lazuli. 

“I will see you tomorrow. Bye cutie,” he pecks him on his cheek and leaves. 

“See ya, cowboy,” he waves at Craig goodbye, giggling at him.  

Tweek enter his house. Closing the door behind him, he disintegrates himself to tears as he rushes upstairs to his room and on his bed. He holds on the stuffed puppy Craig won for him. Just like how he won the football game for him. His demons return back to haunt him while he’s cuddling his cute and furry plushie for comfort. 

~ Flashback starts ~ 

"Tight ass, sweetheart." 

"Check it out on the blonde cutie, bro!" 

"Damn bro, he got this sweet juicy ass!" 

"I want to grind and bang that peach of his!" 

"I want to ride him until I make him moan and scream louder!" 

"Ow, ow, baby got back!"   
"Bang bang, baby!"   
"Look at that peachy ass!" 

"Nice legs, pretty boy!"   
"Woah, you have a nice ass, cutie!" 

"Tight ass." 

"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!" 

"You're even sexier without clothes on." 

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night." 

“You’re a pussy-ass cunthole!” 

“Oh baby, let me fuck you so good!” 

“You know love, I’ve always wanted to jack you off. Do you enjoy the way I make you moan and cum?!” 

~ Flashback ends ~ 

In the end, he drifts himself to sleep. The only sound filling his room unbeknownst to them is his lamentable sobbing. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: I did throwbacks and references to the Fractured But Whole, the previous chapters of this fanfiction, and the previous seasons and episodes of South Park. I also did a mention to Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson; the past characters of South Park.


	17. Truth Lies in the Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own South Park, 13 Reasons Why, or anything else. South Park belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone. 13 Reasons Why, a Netflix show based off of a book by Jay Asher, is created by Brian Yorkey, Diana Son, Selena Gomez, Michael Sugar, Mandy Teefey, Kristel Laiblin, Joseph Incaprera, Steven Golin, Joy Gorman Wettels, and Tom McCarthy under various production company such as July Moon Productions, Kick to the Curb Productions, Anonymous Content, and Paramount Television.
> 
> Warning: PTSD, flashbacks of sexual assault and harassment, profanities, and other contents that considered inappropriate. 13 Reasons Why is a controversial show because of not only the contents consist of rape, suicide, violence, and mental health, but also for the impacts resulting from this show. It is critical to take caution when watching this show; internalize the meanings and messages within the show.

Chapter 17: Truth Lies in the Wounds

No one's point of view

Tweek, bruises and scars all over him, is surrounded by few women and men in a circle. He gulps at how the support group will turn out.

~ Time reverts (early in the morning) ~

He looks himself in the mirror. Here he is, embellished in makeups and clothed in thick fabrics.

He makes a face at himself as he takes a handful of his hoodie. His heart is thumping at every pace. He holds his head that is throbbing from the impact thanks to his rapist. Let's not forget about the grimacing memories, doubts, and negativity in his mind.

~ Flashback starts ~

"Tight ass, sweetheart."

"Check it out on the blonde cutie, bro!"

"Damn bro, he got this sweet juicy ass!"

"I want to grind and bang that peach of his!"

"I want to ride him until I make him moan and scream louder!"

"Ow, ow, baby got back!"  
"Bang bang, baby!"  
"Look at that peachy ass!"

"Nice legs, pretty boy!"  
"Woah, you have a nice ass, cutie!"

"Tight ass."

"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!"

"You're even sexier without clothes on."

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night."

"You're a pussy-ass cunthole!"

"Oh baby, let me fuck you so good!"

"You know love, I've always wanted to jack you off. Do you enjoy the way I make you moan and cum?!"

'Slut'

'Trashy'

'Promiscuous'

'Ew, Too much makeup!'

'Asking for it!'

'Whore'

'Begging for attention!'

'Bitch!'

~ Flashback ends~

On the verge of cracking under pressure, he rips his hoodie to show his scars on his wrists and noticeable purple marks all over his neck and shoulders. He pours an excessive amount of makeup removers on his face, letting them diminish down the drain. His face is now laced with bruises from his rapist. His eyes are red from crying. He remembered waking up every time in the middle of the night, sniveling and cuddling on his newly stuffed puppy.

"This is me," Tweek speaks to his reflection, "Nobody knows who I am now. Nobody knows my pain. Nobody knows what he did to me. Not even Craig. Who am I to them?! Who am I to him?!" He picks up his phone and dials the numbers.

"Heidi, I need to talk to you and I'm ready to get help right now," called Tweek in a broken tone. He finds himself faltering down on the floor along with his phone. He silently let tears escape out of his eyes.

"All right, I'm coming. Hang in there," replied Heidi.

~ Flashforward~

"I met an older guy outside of the market when I was buying for my friend's restaurant that I was working in. He has black hair styled in a mohawk, tattoos on ," Tweek opens up to his support group who are listening and nodding at him, "Not only he kissed and groped me let alone make uncomfortable comments at me, but he does assaulted and raped me once after my workout and attempt to do again at a carnival on my first date with my boyfriend. Fortunately, I was able to defend myself against him with every courage I have. After my first encounter with sexual assault, I cut myself and cried every days and night in my sleep; I feel reluctant to trust men mainly due to sexual harassment from them everywhere I go. Worst of all, I was diagnosed with PTSD because of the assault. I am trapped and hurt because of the assault.'

~ Meanwhile (outside of the support group) ~

Heidi watches Tweek through the window as he calmly communicates and hearkens to the members of the support group as they're telling their devastating stories. She sighs at how bad people would do unbearable actions to good people like Tweek. And look where he is currently. Though she is sorry for her friend, she is proud of how Tweek gains some resolution to finally stand up for himself and reach out for support. She is proud of being a good friend to Tweek by being there by his side when no one didn't give a damn about his trauma.

'I wish Craig could've known the pain Tweek have to put up with,' Heidi imagines what it is like to be in Tweek's shoes. No trust in others. No support. Having a negative entity suffocating you every days and night. Worse than her toxic relationship with his ex-boyfriend.

She was interrupted by the ring of her phone.

"Hey Heidi, where are you?" The voice of the caller belongs to Wendy.

"Um… I'm at a support group with Tweek," answered Heidi.

"Wait?! What happened to Tweek?!"

"Well… you're not going to like this, but Tweek... um," Heidi bites down her lips.

"Spit it out! What happened to him?!" Wendy is growing impatient at Heidi's hesitation.

"Prior to Tweek's breakup with Craig, Tweek is raped by an older guy who he met outside of the market," confessed Heidi to Wendy.

"Wait?! What?! Hold on, I'm going to the support group! Text me the address!" Heidi can hear the noise of Wendy's footsteps.

"Okay, I'm texting you the address!" Heidi hangs up and writes down the address of the support group on her phone.

~ later (When the session is done) ~

"You're lucky to be there for your friend, Tweek," complimented the counselor, "Poor boy. He has to live through the painful trauma. If your friend wants counseling at any day however he wants, feel free to contact me. Here's my card." He takes out a small card and hands it to Heidi.

"Thanks," Heidi approaches her friend as she walks with him. She takes Tweek outside for some fresh air, sitting on the bench.

"You okay?" Heidi asks him. Tweek sighs as he is scrunching his face. His eyes concentrate on the sewn-up scars on his wrists.

"Tweekie Bird?"

"At the end of the day, it is good to get the pain, doubts, and fear out of me. Maybe I'm not alone," Tweek slowly smiles, "The second time he tried to force himself on me, I kicked his ass which maybe I can stand up for myself."

"Good for you, Tweek."

"On the other hand, I lost a part of me to that monster. I still have the scars and bruises because of that monster. I'm battling my own state of mind because of him. I can't believe he's the first boy I lose my virginity to and I find it repugnant. Everywhere I go, he's always there. Now, I don't know if I can heal from it."

"At least you did make great efforts in facing your trauma by getting actual help and standing up for yourself. What are you afraid?"

"Craig."

"Craig? How?"

"I didn't tell him about my situation with this older guy. I kept it a secret from him along with the second encounter when Craig took me to our first date."

"Why?"

"I assume he doesn't care about it at all considering how many weeks or months he's been on his fucking phone! He's like everybody in this fucking town! What if he got mad at me for it?! What if he's going to break up with me because of it?!" Tweek is tugging his hair, "He's the first boy I've loved and lost; I am scared of losing him! I can't find love or be happy because of what that jackass did to me!"

"Tweek!" Heidi and Tweek look around to see Wendy.

"Wendy? I...I..."

"Tweek, Heidi told me about how the scumbag did it to you," Wendy comes towards Tweek to hug him. She spots scars on his wrists to let out a gasp, "Tweek, did you do it to yourself?"

The blonde boy truthfully nods at her and say, "Yes."

"Tweek blames himself because of this older boy he met, so he cuts himself," Heidi explains to her friend, "He also told me how he has these terrifying thoughts and feelings because of that horrible trauma. Not to mention, he didn't eat, sleep, or do anything; he feels skeptical of men."

"Tweek, angel babe," Tweek soaks his tears in Wendy as he releases a mellow weep, "I'm here for you."

~ Flashback starts ~

"Tight ass, sweetheart."

"Check it out on the blonde cutie, bro!"

"Damn bro, he got this sweet juicy ass!"

"I want to grind and bang that peach of his!"

"I want to ride him until I make him moan and scream louder!"

"Ow, ow, baby got back!"  
"Bang bang, baby!"  
"Look at that peachy ass!"

"Nice legs, pretty boy!"  
"Woah, you have a nice ass, cutie!"

"Tight ass."

"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!"

"You're even sexier without clothes on."

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night."

"You're a pussy-ass cunthole!"

"Oh baby, let me fuck you so good!"

"You know love, I've always wanted to jack you off. Do you enjoy the way I make you moan and cum?!"

~ Flashback ends~

"I just want to be alone at home and..." whimpered Tweek softly.

"Hey, you can stay at my place," consoled Wendy, "You're not safe there on your own. I want you protected from that disgusting asshole and who knows what he'll do to you."

"Sure, why not? I mean my parents are still in that thing. Why bother with them?"

~ Time skips when Wendy, Heidi, and Tweek makes it to Tweek's house ~

Tweek goes inside his house to get his stuff from his room. He returns back downstairs where Wendy and Heidi are waiting for him.

"Ready?" Heidi asks Tweek who is carrying his duffel bag and backpack. Tweek nods at her as he leans on Wendy's shoulder. Wendy holds him close to her tenderly, "Let's go."

Heidi opens the door for two of her friends as they exit out of the house. It is plaintive to say goodbye to his home and family; he imagines the neglect he has put up with from his parents as a result of him being sexually and physically assaulted and self-harming himself.

He couldn't bear the pain, fear, and demons he was caged and buried in because of his sexual assault and how he dealt with it. He didn't know what would his friends and Craig react.

'Craig,' He paused in his mind, 'I'm a bad boyfriend for keeping it a secret from him. What if he hates me for being dishonest with him?! What if he and I break up third times in a roll!? At the same time, I don't want him to go down there with me.'

~ 15 minutes later ~

"Here we are. Welcome to my house," Tweek steps inside Wendy's house alongside Heidi and Wendy.

Wendy's point of view

"Make yourself at home," I make sure Tweek is welcomed to my house with open arms, "My room is upstairs."

"Thank you, Wendy," appreciated Heidi, "I just have the same thoughts about Tweek being in his home."

"No problem. Tweek is too much of a sweetheart to deal with this trauma and I don't blame him, "I sighed, "If only Craig knows about it. This is all Cartman's fault for this shit!"

"It is a mistake of me dating that lardass douchebag. I'm sorry about it," I sense the regret in her voice, "Though, I still can't forget how you kicked his ass in the playground. You're a complete badass!"

"No hard feelings, Heidi. I'm sorry for shitting on you at the restaurant," I reflect back to how I made her feel bad about herself at Buca De Faggoncini, "I should've been supportive of you instead of being a bitch."

"We all make regrettable mistakes and we're paying the prices for it," Heidi is making a point of our unforgivable actions in the past.

I nod at her as I envision back to heinous actions in the past such as how I sent Ms. Ellen to the sun after hiring Iraqi soldiers and exposing her for who she really is over Stan. Or the infamous war of the sexes against the boys over sex education and 'Skankhunt42'.

"Remember the times where I shitted on you whenever you tried to make a point or whatnot? Sorry about that."

"Again, no hard feelings."

~ Flashback starts ~

~ Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset (Season 8, Episode 12) ~

"Hey, Bebe. I heard you were having a party tonight," I approach Bebe and the girls, wearing a tank top and jeans.

"You wouldn't be interested, Wendy. My parents are out of town, so it's a Stupid Spoiled Whore party."

"I'm a stupid spoiled whore."

"Right. Please, Wendy, you're like Class President and stuff!" scoffed Annie.

"Yeah, and you get straight A's in school!" condescended Red.

"You're not even spoiled, because your parents give money to charity!" criticized Bebe.

"You don't want to go to this party, Wendy! We're inviting all the boys, and we're gonna play _Spin the Bottle_ , and _Two Minutes In The Closet_ , and do ketamine," said Red.

"That's okay."

"Oh, please, do you even know what ketamine is?" added Red questionably.

"Yes."

"See? You _are_ too smart," Annie points my intelligence out to me.

"Yeah. We have no idea what ketamine is," Red backs it up.

"Sorry Wendy. You're just not a whore. Get lost!" Bebe shooed me like a plague to her and them.

"Yeah!" As I walk away from them, I can hear their laughter.

~ The Hobbit (Season 17, Episode 10) ~

"Heidi!"

"Nichole!"

"Bebe!"

"Lola!"

"Red!"

"Annie!"

"Lisa Berger!"

"Wendy," I regretted saying my name when doing roll call. Here comes the 'jelly hater'.

"Ugh!"

"You suck!"

"Oh God."

"Ugh!"

"Can we try this without Wendy?" I roll my eyes at Heidi's suggestion.

"Hey, come on, you guys. She just needs more confidence," Lisa Berger unhelpfully gives me a slack, "It's okay, Wendy. Who cares if no one likes you? Maybe you should go out with Butters."

"Let's just get back to cheering, okay?!" I don't want to waste my time on this bullshit.

"I don't think so! We don't wanna cheer with a hater!" Again with me being called a hater by one of my friends.

"Yeah! You have a bad self-image, Wendy! You need to go down to the gym and get a better one!" It is no surprise of Bebe to nip-pick me for the way I look since I'm a 'jelly hater'.

"Yeah!"

"Uh huh!"

"That's right!"

"See, the problem with having fake pictures of yourself is that you start to believe in your own bullshit! This has gone way too far! And if society won't fix it, I will!" I blow up and storm out of the gym.

"What are you gonna do?!" Bebe asked me pessimistically.

"Something that should have been done a long time ago!" My plan to stop photoshopping backfires thanks to Kanye West 'coming to my house to read me a story'.

~ Flashback ends~

"True, let's not forget how we used Clyde for shoes by making the 'list'."

"A lot worse than the time me and the girls called Bebe a 'slut' back in the third grade because of her boobs," I admit to her, "Turns out she stuffed her chest with cardboard boxes and I went under the knife for nothing."

"What about the slumber party at my place with the new girl, Marjorine? Marjorine is actually Butters in disguise and the boys ruined the slumber party."

We all reflect back onto our actions in the past. We wish we could've been nicer to everybody instead of being bitches to them. Talking about them behind their backs. Calling the girls sluts, whores, and every name in the book. Bashing on them. How could we be popular if we're nothing but a bitch to everybody? This is like the movie Mean Girls, Heathers, Easy A, and 13 Going on 30.

"Regardless, Kyle still hates me for the way I treated him ever since my relationship with Cartman," I pat her on the back as she looks down on the ground. I can see tears out of her eyes, "I feel like a parasite to him no matter what. He doesn't trust me let alone stand me at all."

"But you're a reformed person now. You redeem yourself in the revamped Special Ed Science Fair. Your grades have progressed. You dedicated yourself to helping others. You become a Youtuber for gardening and beauty," I reassure her, "Mostly importantly, you're helping Tweek with his heartache and sexual assault. Heck, you're the only person Tweek can turn to whenever nobody gives a damn about his pain! Even his own boyfriend, Craig!"

"Don't forget about PTSD. It will take him months or years to recover," I nod at her as I'm listening to her, "If it wasn't for Cartman, then Kyle won't act resentful towards me and we'd be on an amicable term. I wish I can go back in time to erase it."

"True. Don't beat yourself up for it. Tweek even forgives you despite what you'd done; I know why. Everybody makes mistakes in life, so nobody is perfect," I advise her, "Life isn't being perfect. It is about learning from your mistakes and own up to them. I can tell why Kyle is being bitter to you."

"I get it. I shouldn't treat a good guy like Kyle like dirt because of Cartman," I wipe her tears off of her cheeks and eyes.

"Same here. I shouldn't side with Cartman to be a complete cunt to Kyle," I remember how Kyle used to be apathetic at school and to everyone. Mostly Heidi.

I heard him saying, "Who cares about her? I knew she is nothing than trouble from the start, so shame on me for even give a damn about her. just want to send a message on how karma bites her in the ass for dating the fatass."

"Let's cheer you up with a trip to the mall. Right now, I'm going to talk to Tweek."

"Good idea. Hey, I'm going to see you at the meeting," Heidi and I hug each other. Before Heidi can leave, she pauses to look at me and tells me, "Take care of Tweekie Bird."

I nod at her and she exits out of my house. I go upstairs to check up on Tweek who is in my room, standing by the window.

"Hey Tweek, you okay?"  
"I don't know," Tweek whispers in a soft voice, quavering and blinking tears out. His eyes are peeled on the scars on his wrists, "I was never the same anymore."

"Tweek, it is never your fault for what he did to you. What he did to you is crossing the line," I am appalled by how the asshole has the balls to hurt my friend. Tweek is now scarred for life, "I'm here for you. I'm your friend and friends hear each other out no matter what. I don't blame you at all."

Tweek's point of view

'Come on, tell her your side of the story!' A voice shouts to me, 'She doesn't blame you and she's not mad at you.'

"Well, here's what happens. I met this older guy outside of the market where I brought the stuff for David's restaurant. I was pulling my socks up and he groped me from behind. He wears a black T-shirt, denim sagging jeans, Jordan shoes, black leather jacket, and chains and his black hair is in a mohawk. He has tattoos on his left arm," I confess to her. I am trying to get a grip of yourself; these flashbacks are unbearable for me to contain, "He is acting like a jackass with his sleazy comments. I try to tell him to back off, but he always has this smirk on his face to fucking put his lips reeked of cigarettes and alcohols on mine!"

~ Flashback starts ~

"Nice ass, fag."

"You're so cute acting all feisty and shit. I love it when you're playing hard to get, kitten."

~ Flashback ends ~

"This is not the first time I met this jackass! He managed to find me when I was avoiding him in the restaurant after my workout at the new gym. Every time I fought him back or rejected his advances, he would grow aggressive at me to put his hands on me and takes me to the wood," I grimace at what happened last night and yesterday on my first date with Craig, "Eventually, he fucking rape the shit out of me last night. He is the reason why I cried every day and night even after the second time he attempted to do it upon me on my first date with Craig! Luckily, I kicked his ass the second time he attempted to do it upon me."

~ Flashback starts ~

"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!"

"You're even sexier without clothes on."

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night."

"You're a pussy-ass cunthole!"

"Oh baby, let me fuck you so good!"

"You know love, I've always wanted to jack you off. Do you enjoy the way I make you moan and cum?!"

~ Flashback ends ~

"Despite how I did stand up for myself, the pain, doubts, shame, negativity, and awful things are still mounting on me," I droop my head in chagrin, "I swear I'm not a whore or that 'person' who sleeps with every man or something. What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this shit?"

~ Flashback starts (in his head) ~

'Slut'

'Trashy'

'Promiscuous'

'Ew, Too much makeup!'

'Asking for it!'

'Whore'

'Begging for attention!'

'Bitch!'

~ Flashback ends ~

Wendy's point of view  
No wonder why he's running away from the mall, crying and hyperventilating as well as at the talent show. I thought it is just a panic attack. This is personally deep to Tweek.

"I feel caged both outside and in my house. Every time I tried to sleep; these awful images overpower me. Everywhere I go, I can't enjoy myself without constantly looking over my back," He elaborates his struggle of PTSD contributed by sexual assault. He goes on to new details, "But he is the reason why I can't trust men. The way he talks to me brings me back to the past sexual harassment I dealt with at the gym and in public, so this is why I go to a new gym."

"Tweek... I'm very sorry for everything you'd been through," I apologize to him.

"I am so fucking pissed off and upset at everybody for the bullshits on what it is like to live with anxiety! They don't know the shits I'd faced in my life mainly during my breakup with him! Including Cartman, Craig, and my parents!" I can see that he's fuming up as if he wasn't having it, "Then, there is me as the victim of 'sexual assault' and a boy! Oh, what?! What are they going to say about that?! Oh, 'I deserve it because I caused it', 'I should have known better', 'I should change', and the list goes on and on!

"Call me out however they want! Everything around us is nothing but a fuckery! Everybody in this town didn't even give a shit about anyone's issues but themselves! What do they do about their problems?! Oh wait, they just bitch around about their problems every day and night or cower them away instead of just at least fucking facing and solving it! Bitch this, bitch that!

"Or they lay the shame and blame on others who don't have anything to do with it, trying to help the situation, or suffered from the conflict! Blame on him, blame on her! Blame everything! Shame! Shame! Shame! I am fucking done with everything! I am fucking done with everybody's bullshits!"

Tweek crashes down on the floor, tumultuously sobbing. Kneeling down to bring him closer to me, I can sympathize what he's feeling in this situation. Stress. Doubts. Anger and frustration. Guilt. Shame. Fear. Sadness. Weeks or months of emotions he's stifling in and venting out. I don't care if he blubbers thunderously to fill my room and let the whole neighborhood hear me and him from a distance or so.

"There, there," I cradle and rock Tweek in my arms, "I look at you as what a person is. You are strong, beautiful, capable, and vulnerable in a good way. It is okay to have these strong emotions concerning what you've been through. I even like how you stood up to that fatass Cartman by calling him out on his bullshits. You are genuine and I wish that everybody can see it including Craig."

~ Flashback starts ~

"Shut the fucking hell up, fat weasel! Don't talk about my friends like that! Don't even think about bringing him up! Like you have the nerves to say something to my friends! Do you have something to say, huh?! If you do, then say it my face! How fucking dare you?!"

"Oh, you think you're cool and shit and all?! Do people like an asshole like you?! Do people even put up with an asshole like you?! Not me because to tell you the truth, you suck! You suck worse than your fucking Buddha boxes and your little followers! I remember how you got your ass handed to you by a girl because of your bullshits! For so long, I had been hearing you go on and on about your bullshits! For so long, I had seen you fuck everything up! Do you think you expect to have everybody clean your messes up?! Do you even think you can get away with your bullshits with you being fake-ass as fuck?! Hell no, you're nothing but an unforgiving, ignorant, fake, egotistical, manipulative, lazy-ass, unaccountable, and malicious jackass to call yourself a person or friend to anybody else! Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Butters, David, Craig, Clyde, Token, Jimmy, Heidi, Wendy, Bebe, Nichole, and anyone else! You're a liar and you know that!

~ Flashback ends ~

"What about Craig? Should I get back together with him? Sure, I want to be with him as my boyfriend. At the same time, I am scared of making mistakes or worse. He is the first boy I loved and lost," he shudders at the thought of Craig, "First is the stupid superhero game thanks to fucking Cartman! Second is the goddamn Buddha box again thanks to fucking Cartman! And now what?! The sexual assault I have to dodge a bullet! Maybe it is better if I were to break up with Craig!"

"No, don't break up with Craig! Don't let it compromise your relationship with Craig!" I shake my head at Tweek, "Your relationship with Craig is stronger than anything else in the world through good and bad times. Yes, you and Craig broke up twice and yes, you've been hurt before. But give him a chance to make things up with you. I mean he wins the football game for you. Heck, this is the first time you two kissed!"

"Wendy!" He covered his face with his hands to hide his embarrassment.

"What did you and Craig do after the football game?"

"He took me to the carnival on our first date. We went on so many rides, eat some funnel cake, and plays fun games. He even wins me a stuffed puppy," he smiles at the details of his date with Craig, "We may have hooked up in the Ferris wheel."

"Oh my."

"It is unexpected for Craig to become 'boyfriend material'. You know, he dresses nice, smells like coffee and mint, and respectively, didn't pressure me or something," he scratches the back of his head.

"I get it and it is great of Craig to respect your boundaries especially you faced tremendous situations of sexual assault," I smile at the concept of Craig is making strides to get Tweek back, "Let me tell you something about boundaries and relationships. Boundaries are essential in relationships because you and this special someone like to be treated with consideration in other ways, be cherished unconditionally and graciously, feel secure, and able to find common grounds peacefully and with trust."

"From what you say about boundaries and relationships, I now realize I had been relying on Craig too much throughout the relationship to make him underappreciated," I am getting to acknowledge where this is coming from. Tweek is taking up all of Craig's attention to the point of him being worn out, "Because of how much I am constantly dependent on him, he is drifting away from me. Still, he didn't know about it."

"If it wasn't for the breakup and Cartman, you won't grow into the person you are without Craig. That doesn't excuse Cartman, Craig, and everybody else to glorify anxiety for their ignorant motivations. Anxiety and mental health issues are something people can't hide from nor look down upon nor taken lightly. There are always help out there, so you don't have to face it alone. People like you are unique, real, and capable more than what people only see in them and I admire people like you. Don't let them undercut or sidetrack you."

"Even if I try?"

"Even if you try and even if it's little. How about a hot shower and Netflix? You need to heal yourself," I want Tweek to find his own peace without any stress, "I have popcorn, sodas, chips, and ice creams in the kitchen. I even have hot cocoa, but not coffee. Sorry about that."

"It is fine."

"I'm going out to see the girls," I walk out of my room, "Bye Tweek."

No one's point of view

"Bye Wendy," Tweek gets up from the floor. He goes to his bag to pull out a towel, shampoo, body wash, and three articles of clothing: a black shirt with a picture of Ariana Grande, black shorts, and Craig's jacket. Heading to the bathroom and locking the door, he turns on the faucet to let the hot water drench on him. Cleaning himself in his own shampoo and body wash, he is been staying in the shower for 10 or 15 minutes his skin turns slightly pinkish red.

'I miss the bath back home,' suspired Tweek to himself.

Once he finishes his shower and got dressed, he treads downstairs with his laptop and stuffed puppy in his arms to set it down on the couch in the living room. He rushes to the kitchen to make himself a cup of hot cocoa with whipped cream. He sadly misses coffee.

Tweek's point of view

The hot cocoa Wendy have tastes not as bad as the coffee back home and the shop. Being away from home is very tough. I miss the bath I made from the bath bomb. I miss the shop. I miss the coffee. Someday I will make new recipes for the shop, yet I still need to recover from what that guy did to me. Who knows what he will do next? What if he breaks in my house to rape me again?! What if he's going to assault me?! What if I meet him again?! I wish he would leave me alone or be sent to jail.

Oh wait, the police can't do anything about it. Officer Yates, in my opinion, is an idiot and a hypocrite who is like any other old people. I assume that he will take my ordeal dealing with sexual assault as a fucking joke. A fucking laughingstock to this fucking town! He will probably say something like 'It is embarrassing of a boy to be the victim of sexual assault', 'Boys and men are supposed to be strong and powerful', and other bullshits. Again, I am done with the bullshits in this fucking town!

I go onto Netflix to surf through movies and TV shows to choose something good to watch. Hmm... Cupcake Wars, Stranger Things, Pretty Little Liars, Gossip Girls. Hell Kitchen... maybe. Kitchen Nightmare... maybe. Riverdale... maybe. It... hell no! RuPaul's Drag Race... already watch it and it is actually funny and entertaining. Oh god, not the Emoji movie! Next!

What's this? '13 Reasons Why'? Let's see. I click on '13 Reasons Why' to see what is it about. I read that '13 Reasons Why' is about how the main character, Clay, discover a box of cassette tapes containing recordings of his classmate, Hannah Baker, talking about the decisions of taking her own life. It has two seasons and 26 episodes in total. 13 episodes per each season. Let's hope it's worth watching or at least binge-watching.

Click!

It is playing... starting right... now!

~ Season 1, Episode 1 ~

I wonder what this show will turn out. I can't wait!

~ One Episode later ~

"Don't act innocent!"

"But I am innocent! I had nothing to do with this! Alex did this on his own."

"He just broke up with me on his own?! Enjoy it, cause you will, won't you? Cause that's what sluts do."

"Fuck you."

"Jessica, how could you do this to your own best friend?!" I shout at the screen of my laptop, "Hannah is trying to tell you about Alex making the list! Instead, you just slap her! You choose your own best friend over a fucking boy!"

~ Episode 3 ~

"Yeah, I remember that," My eyes water up as I see Bryce gropes Hannah's ass.

"Did you just?"

"Oh no, I didn't me. I didn't mean. It's just … It's just real tight... in the store. It's tight in the store."

~ Flashback starts ~  
"Tight ass."

"Nice ass, fag."

His large hands touching on my ass.

~ Flashback end~

I visualize myself as Hannah and my goddamn rapist as Bryce. Or other guys. Bryce the fucking asshole.

~ Six Episodes later ~

My mind is blown away from episodes of '13 Reasons Why'. I can't believe Courtney betrays Hannah in order for her to hide the fact she's a lesbian away from everybody in episode 5. Who does that?! I am also infuriatingly triggered by how Ryan Shaver is an asshole to publish her poem to the school without her consent; everybody makes fun of her poem on her personal problems in episode 8. I would've been so insulted if it were to be me!

Oh my god, I am getting to the part where Bryce raped Jessica while Hannah is locking in the closet! The part that rings to why I am in a dark place. Why I spent in my room crying from day to night. The picture of him on top of me. It hurts so much as his dick is inserted in me let alone the hammering noise.

~ Flashback starts ~  
"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!"

"You're even sexier without clothes on."

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night."

In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out...

~ Flashback ends ~  
No one's point of view

Watching three more episodes, Tweek overwhelmingly expunges his tears and emotions out at the disturbing scenes from Bryce's rape on Hannah to Mr. Porter's oblivion to Hannah's conflict leading to Hannah's suicide on the bathroom by razor blades. Hannah's eyes are filled with terror, agony, and distress when Bryce violates her in the hot tub much to Tweek's discomfort. When Mr. Porter fails to help her like how everybody in this town ignores him. Nobody cares about him at all. Period. It is his rapist's and their faults for parts of him being vanished before his eyes. For the wounds and burdens he wears and masks away from them.

"Why do I care about them? Do they give a damn about me? I don't think so! How can I be fine when deep inside, I'm not?!" whispered Tweek coldly and harshly to himself, "They don't even care about others at all!"

~ Flashback starts ~  
"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!"

"You're even sexier without clothes on."

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night."

In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out...

"You're a pussy-ass cunthole!"

"Oh baby, let me fuck you so good!"

"You know love, I've always wanted to jack you off. Do you enjoy the way I make you moan and cum?!"

Multiple people in Buddha boxes pop out everywhere he is in.

~ Flashback ends ~

What touches his heart is Jessica's courage to come clean with her rape to her father. Just like how Tweek manage to confront his trauma to Nurse Gillian, Ms. Wilde, Heidi, and Wendy. But not his friends, parents, and Craig.

"Now with season 1 is done, time for season 2," anticipated Tweek.

~ Hours of 13 episodes of season 2 later ~

His eyes are bloodshot red. His face is overly submerged in his own tears as he slams his laptop shut.

"This is glorious! Magnificent! It feels thrilling to see the people who caused her death 'sings the truth out'. Courtney, Tyler, Jessica, Marcus, Ryan, Zach, Justin, Mr. Porter, and that fucking douchebag, Bryce! This is what they motherfucking get! Tangled in a web of lies, betrayal, and chaos!" dramatized Tweek, "I guess they are like them! The people of this fucking town are the reasons for who I am now! From Jessica's panic attack at the mall to Justin's heroin addiction since season 1 to Alex's packaged gift to Bryce's true color as a rapist to all of the girls and Tyler's rape by Montgomery! Let's not forget about the funeral part! This is what the world is! Full of motherfucking bad things!"

He later crumbles down on the couch to burst in tears unstably, letting a shout, "Why?! Why?! Why?! The world is fucking unfair! Ugh! Son of a motherfucking bitch!"

"At the same time, I am not alone. I am not alone," relieved Tweek before blacking out on the couch, quietly weeping in his stuffed puppy.

~ 3 or 4 hours later ~

Wendy's point of view

I enter my home, carrying a basket full of everything the girls and I got for Tweek. Bottles of coffee and chocolates from Millie. Cute stuffed plushies from Liza. Facial sheet mask from Nichole. Gift cards from Bebe. Bath bombs and scented candles from Annie. A jar of empowering messages from me. Lingeries and body lotions from Red (Since Red is Craig's cousin and she treats Tweek like a daughter or little sister). And a beautiful bird necklace from Heidi. This is a way to cheer Tweek up and support him no matter what. Me and Heidi work together to tell the girls what happened to Tweek.

I look to see Tweek is on the couch with his eyes closed. He is snuggling in his stuffed puppy and what breaks my heart is the faint resonance of crying from Tweek in addition to the tears and redness on his cheeks.

Setting the basket down on the table, I link him in a hug and confide in him, "It's okay, Tweek. You can do this. Stay strong, Tweekie Bird."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I did throwbacks to South Park's previous seasons and episodes.


	18. Tweekie Bird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own South Park or anything else. South Park belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone. The song, "Chandelier", covered by Jordan Smith, originally belongs to Sia (I may have rewritten the lyrics once).
> 
> Warning: PTSD, sexual assault/harassment, minor homophobia, and anything that's considered inappropriate.

Chapter 18: Tweekie Bird

No one's point of view

~ Tweek's dream ~

Tweek wakes up to something earthy. Something grainy. Something tangibly cold. Getting up from the ground, he can see himself surrounded in fogs and darkness. He can feel himself shivering from the whirring of a strong wind at sub-zero degrees.

"Hello? Hello? Is anybody there?" His eyes wander around in a circle to find himself being the only one there. All alone. Nobody's there.

Before he can move, he nearly fumbles on his feet. Heeding a metallic sound, he notices a ball and chain latched on his right ankle. He tries to tug on the chain, but it is too heavy for him to bulge. Sighed, he plants his left feet on the ground while dragging his confined right leg in front of his left one. The ball and chain make him move very sluggish that a sloth can take home first place in a race.  
Suddenly, a grumbling racket coming from the sky catches his attention. The only words he thinks of is 'Oh shit!' At an instant, it is getting more clamorous as rain begins to shower. However, the rain is growing heavier to become a monsoon.

'Rainstorm!' He wastes no time making a run to his direction regardless of the ball and chain attached to his ankle. Even if he falls face down or on his ass, he picks himself up to keep going. He cares less about the boom of the storm. He cares less about the puddles splashing all over him. The cold from the wind and rain didn't bother him anyway.

'Come on, Tweek! Come on!' He roots for himself, his eyes peeled on the way he heads forth.

Though he never looks back, he senses something or someone is behind him. Whispers and laughers consist of multiple voices. These voices are too indistinct for the blonde boy to pick up on the words they are uttering.

'What are they saying? What are they laughing about or at? I can't hear them,' Tweek is tilting his head to the right and scratching his head, 'Who are they?'

The volume of the voices and laughers start to intensify; they are getting hostile and disdainful.

"Holy shit," Tweek scrambles as quick as he can away from the voices. He persists on and on even if his ankle is aching or numbing thanks to the ball and chain. He ignores the burning sensation in his chest and lungs from the frigid air.

'My ankle is killing me, but I can't give up like this!'

"Slut!"

"Ahh," The word then strikes hard at the back of his shoulder. Hard and solid as if it is stone.

"Tch, he deserves it because he caused it!" Another word blurts out to jab at his face. This time it is a stick.

"Bitch!"

"Asked for it!"  
"Whore!"

"Begging for attention!"

"Liar!"

He winces at every blow to his shoulders, back, and head from the sticks and stones. The pain may slow him down. Instead, the pain triggers him to continue his getaway.

'Come on, Tweek! Come on!' The more minutes or hours of running, the more he didn't hear the cruel words or have sticks and stones thrown at him. Of course, the more minutes or hours of running means he's getting

"Woah," He comes upon what appears to be rows of towering mountain much to his surprise. Yet, he has chains on his ankle, so he has to climb up and down to the mountains, "Let's do it!"

He steps on the base of the mountain to climb to the peak. With the might in him to forget about his fear, he reminds himself to never back down. Regardless of the ball and chain. Regardless of his rapid pulse from his heart. Regardless of his hands almost slipping.

'Come on, Tweek! Climb and never look down!' He clambers like there's no tomorrow until he makes it to the top. Observing down from the summit, he braces himself to trek without any complaints.

~ 1 or 2 hours later~

He falls down on the ground, panting and hanging his head low.

"Ahhh!" he dodges them when they are soaring downward at him, "Get away from me!" He dashes off to evade the vultures that are circling above him.

"You're out of time!"

One of the vultures dives down to tackle him together with the others. Its beak and claws are puncturing him from head to toe even if Tweek is endeavoring to fend them off or back away from them. Unbeknownst to him, he scoots back to the edge of a cliff to the point of him descending off down the slope and to a deep body of water.

Submerged in the freezing water, Tweek is struggling to stay afloat thanks to the ball and chain on his right ankle; splashing around vigorously.

Zap!

Bam!

He feels a rigid impact on the back of his head and neck coming from a falling tree because of high wind. Drawing back the pain in the head and neck, he uses his left hand to hold onto his head and neck while his right hand is gripped on the trunk of the tree. He pulls himself up to get on the tree, gasping for air. Though making out alive, he feels sore and worn out.

"Please help me," implored Tweek, his eyes have erupted in his own tears.

~ Dream ends ~

Tweek gasps, widens his green-hazel eyes open. He exhales to see that he's at Wendy's house. He inspects himself to see no signs of wounds and a ball and chain on him. Rising up from the couch, he grabs and opens his laptop to check what time is it. 3:30 AM.

"It's only just a dream," Catching his breath, he plants one hand on his chest and the other on his forearm. He slowly calms himself down to the sound of water dripping outside. Just like in his dream, "I'm still here. Breathing."  
Allowing himself to softly break down in tears, he notices a large basket on the table. He reaches to grab the basket. He is amazed to see bottles of coffee, chocolate bars, facial sheet masks, gift cards, scented candles, stuffed plushies, bath bombs, decorative boxes wrapped in ribbons, body lotions, and a plastic jar filled with little pieces of paper.

There is a note on the basket handle that reads 'From Wendy, Heidi, Red, Nichole, Bebe, Millie, Annie, Liza, and the list of the girls' names goes on and on, To our beloved Tweekie Bird.'

Gradually smiling at the love from the girls, he takes and opens two bottles to drink his favorite beverage. Next, he goes for three mini Hershey bars and five chocolate kisses. Finishing his 'breakfast', he marches to the kitchen to throw the empty bottles and wrappers away.

He takes the plastic jar to look at the little pieces of paper. Every paper he takes out of the jar, he feels loved and wanted thanks to inspiring messages to let out drops of tears out of his eyes.

'You're never alone'

'Never your fault'

'The greater our innocence, the greater our strength and the swifter our victory'~ Mahatama Gandhi

'The caged bird sings with a fearful trill, of things unknown, but longed for still, and his tune is heard on the distant hill, for the caged bird sings of freedom.' ~ Maya Angelou

'I know why the caged bird sings, ah me, When his wing is bruised and his bosom sore,- When he beats his bars and would be free; It is not a carol of joy or glee, But a prayer that he sends from his heart's deep core, But a plea, that upward to Heaven he flings- I know why the caged bird sings!' ~ Paul Laurence Dunbar

'Nothing is more beautiful than a smile struggled through tears'~ Demi Lovato

'There remains what seems like an impenetrable wall of silence around violence and we must all play a role in breaking this silence.' ~ Reese Witherspoon

'We must send a message across the world that there is no disgrace in being a survivor of sexual violence – the shame is on the aggressor' ~ Angelina Jolie

'I'll be damned if somebody's gonna say that every creatively intelligent thing I ever did is all boiled down to one dickhead that did that to me.' ~ Lady Gaga

Eventually, he sets his eyes on a beautiful gold necklace. On the center of the necklace is a pendant of a bird. He finds a note at the back. It reads:

Keep breathing,

Keep holding on,

Keep singing beautiful melodies,

Spread your wings, my little Tweekie Bird

~ Heidi

Tweek's point of view

The gifts and amount of support from the girls uplift me to the point of what I realize now verse what is only in my head. From the people I shared with. From the nurse who healed me from the horrible trauma. From true friends who've been there by my side when everybody's heads are in clouds. From the first boy I loved and lost. From a monster who is the reason for the hell I'd dealt with.

I am loved! I am wanted! I am capable more than I think! I have purposes to live! I am worthy against the bad things in the world thanks to the closest people I know! I can't continue this cycle anymore! I don't care what others have to say or think about my ordeal as a rape victim and person with PTSD! I don't want to be a caged bird anymore; I'm a free bird! But how can I take back my life away from them?!

I turn on my laptop to check on what's going on for today. I type 'news' on the search bar and press 'enter'. Processing... Bingo! I take a glimpse to catch the attention of 'Pride shootings', 'Bombings', 'Suicides', 'People dying', 'Sexual Assault', and 'Homophobia'. They are all recently published by the news media!

Oh god! So many bad things! Gah! This is too much pressure! Why are there bad things in this world?! It could've been worse than the underpants gnomes or be sold to slavery according to my father who is still in the fucking Buddha Box! Or 'Skankhunt42'! Or being bombed by North Korea and the tweet by the President who happened to be my goddamn teacher! Well, used to be until PC Principal and the wall built by the Canadians. Wow, Mr. Garrison is fucking unbelievable! Man, I need to go take a walk to alleviate myself.

No one's point of view

Tweek climbs upstairs and quietly opens the door of Wendy's room. He goes to grab his duffel bag and return to the living room where he gets his toothbrush, phone, wallet, and some clothes. Zipping his bag closed and taking the bird necklace, he goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He changes into a white dress, white denim and feather jacket, and white boots with bows; puts on the bird necklace he got from Heidi.

Going downstairs, he takes out a pen and paper from his bag to write a note for Wendy:

Wendy,

I'm going for a walk to get some fresh air and think through it. Thank you for the gifts and support. You're right about how I am not alone, don't have to deal with my trauma on my own, and healing myself from this awful turmoil.

Sincerely, Tweek.

He folds and places the note on the refrigerator door secured in a magnet. Stuffing his wallet and phone in his pocket, he opens and closes the door to explore the outside world which is raining.

Tweek's point of view

I am strolling through the neighborhoods and around the streets in the rain. I envy everybody for their peaceful slumber and sweet dreams. Unlike them, I sleep through hell and tears I cried. The only things to lessen the are the rain and winds. The rain is falling down from the sky to wash away the tears and pain out of me. Except the pain is now permanent. The winds are drying my tears out, whispering to me, and giving me chills. Just like in my dream.

I don't care how far I go away from the town. Until I can see a bench, a bridge, and a lake. I'm at Stark's Park. Too bad, there aren't any ducks.

I make a beeline and take a seat on the bench. Looking at the medley of shades of blues and greys sky, I see silhouettes of birds flying in a V position; birds on branches. I can even hear the songs they are making. I love how the birds are singing their melodies. Hmm... I wonder why 'Tweekie Bird' is given as a nickname to me. Is it because of how I can 'sing beautiful melodies' or being friendly? Or maybe because of how I yearn for freedom? Or how I am still breathing from that horrible event?

This brought me questions. How am I still existing from it? How can I be free from it? Why are there bad things in this world? Why people ignore these bad things? It is not fair that I am still there in this world with all of these bad things! Especially if I let one bad thing happens to me! Look what he did to me! And look what he makes me do to me!

~ Flashback starts ~

"Tight ass."

"Nice ass, fag."

His large hands touching on my ass.

"You're so cute acting all feisty and shit. I love it when you're playing hard to get, kitten."

"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!"

"You're even sexier without clothes on."

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night."

In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out...

"You're a pussy-ass cunthole!"

"Oh baby, let me fuck you so good!"

"You know love, I've always wanted to jack you off. Do you enjoy the way I make you moan and cum?!"

"Asked for it!"  
"Whore!"

"Begging for attention!"

"Liar!"

"Slut!"

"Trashy!"

"Promiscuous!"

"Ew, Too much makeup!"

"Asking for it!"

"Bitch!"

"You're out of time!"

~ Flashback ends ~  
Though he is still in my mind, I can't let him control me and my life! I can't let the negativity control me and my life! I have friends and people who gave me support like Heidi, Wendy, the girls, David, and anyone else. Even Craig. The first boy I loved and lost. The first person to believe in me the most; taught me love, patience, and pain. If only he and they know.

~ Flashback starts ~

"I am so sorry you have to endure the pain, stress, and everything else. He did this to you, so it is not your fault. I get where this is coming from and you don't have to go through with it alone. I am going to tell you a story," the nurse wipes all of my tears with her thumbs, "There is this one girl who dreamed of being a police officer in her life. But that dream is shattered because of the trials and tribulations. Her father is an abusive alcoholic, her mother went out to clubbing and cheats on him with other guys, and as for her brothers and sisters, she has to take care of them every day and night. Not only that but because of the sexual assault she faced at age fourteen; her friends and community turned against her. Her parents disowned her to the point where she has to live in a homeless shelter or on the street. Without her friends, parental figures, or anyone else she can come for support, she went through depression and battles of self-harm, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.

"She's about to commit suicide by hanging herself when she can't handle life anymore. Nevertheless, it's not until she was taken to this hospital by an unexpected savior. This savior saved her from dark times. If wasn't for this savior, then she wouldn't have the choice to turn things around. She begins to focus on her education for a high school diploma and a bachelor degree in nursing. She takes her siblings from her parent's house to live with her grandmother. Her grandmother turns out to be the better parental figure than her parents to take care of her and her siblings. You know, the girl in this story is right in front of you.

"Tweek, my dear, I know you and I both have pain and sufferings like human beings. I'm telling you right now to never go down that path as I did as a young girl. What's upsets me is how people didn't have the balls to lend me a hand. I did everything what I can do for myself and my brothers and sisters. From now on, I'm helping you from that pain and suffering. Here are pamphlets on sexual assault. You can talk to someone you can trust like a teacher, counselor, or even your friends in order to overcome this ordeal."

"You're not alone."

"This is never your fault! It's his fault for the pain and suffering you have to put up with! You don't deserve all of this!"

"I told you that I hate to see my friend in tears and a broken heart. I also hate to see my friend including you in scars, bruises, self-hate, and hopelessness. Tweekie Bird, it is going to be okay and I'm here for you. We can fix this."

"Don't Tweek, you don't deserve the pain and suffering. It's going to be okay."

"Stand your ground and fight through uphill battles."

"Tweek, it is never your fault for what he did to you. What he did to you is crossing the line."

"I look at you as what a person is. You are strong, beautiful, capable, and vulnerable in a good way. It is okay to have these strong emotions concerning what you've been through. I even like how you stood up to that fatass Cartman by calling him out on his bullshits. You are genuine and I wish that everybody can see it including Craig."

"If it wasn't for the breakup and Cartman, you won't grow into the person you are without Craig. That doesn't excuse Cartman, Craig, and everybody else to glorify anxiety for their ignorant motivations. Anxiety and mental health issues are something people can't hide from nor look down upon nor taken lightly. There are always help out there, so you don't have to face it alone. People like you are unique, real, and capable more than what people only see in them and I admire people like you. Don't let them undercut or sidetrack you."

"You're capable more than you think."

~ Flashback ends ~

"Keep breathing. Keep holding on. Keep singing beautiful melodies. Spread your wings, my little Tweekie Bird," I repeat them numerous times to myself. Like a bird, they sing beautiful melodies. Like a bird, they soar through the sky with their wings. Like a bird, they keep on going like there's no tomorrow.

And I am not going to let them take a part of me away from me. Like they did to other innocent people. Like a bird, they are innocent and frail! I am pissed at how they prey on them just because they couldn't defend themselves or are weak to them!

No one's point of view

Tweek gets up from the bench to go to the field. He opens his mouth to sing.

~ Cue the music! (Song #1: Chandelier by Sia (Cover version-Jordan Smith) ~

Party boy don't get hurt  
Can't feel anything, when will I learn?  
I push it down, I push it down  
I'm the one "for a good time call"  
Phone's blowing up, ringing my doorbell  
I feel the love, feel the love  
Oh, one, two, three; one, two, three; drink  
One, two, three; one, two, three; drink  
One, two, three; one, two, three; drink  
Throw 'em back till I lose count

During his singing, he starts to dance and flips around the field. Doing handsprings, cartwheels, and various acrobatic moves. He also did ballet moves such as Grand jete, Pirouette, Pointe, Plie, and Fouette.

'I'll show him that he can't dictate me anymore! He can't hurt me anymore! He can't steal a part of me away from me! It is time for me to break free from the dark,' vowed Tweek to himself as if he is sending a message to his rapist for everything he'd done to him.

I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier  
I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist, like it doesn't exist  
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry  
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier  
And I'm holding on for dear life  
Won't look down, won't open my eyes  
Keep my glass full until morning light  
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight  
Help me, I'm holding on for dear life  
Won't look down, won't open my eyes  
Keep my glass full until morning light  
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight, on for tonight  
Sun is up, I'm a mess  
Gotta get out now, gotta run from this  
Here comes the shame, here comes the shame  
Oh, one, two, three; one, two, three; drink  
One, two, three; one, two, three; drink  
One, two, three; one, two, three; drink  
Throw 'em back till I lose count  
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier  
I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist, like it doesn't exist  
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry  
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier  
I am holding on for dear life  
Won't look down, won't open my eyes  
Keep my glass full until morning light  
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight

Help me, I'm holding on for dear life  
Won't look down, won't open my eyes  
Keep my glass full until morning light  
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight, on for tonight, on for tonight

On the ground, he sniffs as tears are gushing out of his eyes. He darts his eyes up at the dawn sky to see a rainbow. He smiles at the sky, his eyes twinkle in hopefulness.

"Keep breathing. Keep holding on. Keep singing beautiful melodies. Spread your wings, my little Tweekie Bird."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: References to the previous chapters within this fanfiction.


	19. The Angel and the Birds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own South Park or anything else. South Park belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone. The song, "Keep Holding On", belongs to Avril Lavigne.
> 
> Warning: Profanities, mentions of sexual assault/rape, and PTSD.

Chapter 19: The Angel and the Birds

Tweek's point of view

"Keep breathing. Keep holding on. Keep singing beautiful melodies. Spread your wings, my little Tweekie Bird." I examine the bird pendant of my necklace. I'm Tweekie Bird for a reason. Like a bird, they sing beautiful melodies and are innocent and frail. Even if they are imprisoned in cages. Like a bird, they spread their wings to fly through the sky without any limits. Like a bird, they keep breathing in this fucking world!

Why there are bad things happening in this fucking world?! Why this fucking world has to be like that?! Unfair?! Cruel?! Perilous?! It is too much pressure! I wish I could ask Wendy and Heidi about these questions.

Although, what matters the most is that I have friends who love and support me since my sexual assault; I am not alone. I gain so much respect in them because they inspire me that I am capable of more than I think. I am loved. I am worthy. I am strong and beautiful. Hell yeah, I can stand my own ground and never back down!

I don't care what people say or think about me! I don't care about Cartman anymore! I shouldn't blame myself for what my rapist did to me! I choose to break free from him and rebound myself! I am going to be okay times after times!

~ Flashback starts ~

"I am so sorry you have to endure the pain, stress, and everything else. He did this to you, so it is not your fault. I get where this is coming from and you don't have to go through with it alone. I am going to tell you a story," the nurse wipes all of my tears with her thumbs, "There is this one girl who dreamed of being a police officer in her life. But that dream is shattered because of the trials and tribulations. Her father is an abusive alcoholic, her mother went out to clubbing and cheats on him with other guys, and as for her brothers and sisters, she has to take care of them every day and night. Not only that but because of the sexual assault she faced at age fourteen; her friends and community turned against her. Her parents disowned her to the point where she has to live in a homeless shelter or on the street. Without her friends, parental figures, or anyone else she can come for support, she went through depression and battles of self-harm, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.

"She's about to commit suicide by hanging herself when she can't handle life anymore. Nevertheless, it's not until she was taken to this hospital by an unexpected savior. This savior saved her from dark times. If wasn't for this savior, then she wouldn't have the choice to turn things around. She begins to focus on her education for a high school diploma and a bachelor degree in nursing. She takes her siblings from her parent's house to live with her grandmother. Her grandmother turns out to be the better parental figure than her parents to take care of her and her siblings. You know, the girl in this story is right in front of you.

"Tweek, my dear, I know you and I both have pain and sufferings like human beings. I'm telling you right now to never go down that path as I did as a young girl. What's upsets me is how people didn't have the balls to lend me a hand. I did everything what I can do for myself and my brothers and sisters. From now on, I'm helping you from that pain and suffering. Here are pamphlets on sexual assault. You can talk to someone you can trust like a teacher, counselor, or even your friends in order to overcome this ordeal."

"You're not alone."

"I told you that I hate to see my friend in tears and a broken heart. I also hate to see my friend including you in scars, bruises, self-hate, and hopelessness. Tweekie Bird, it is going to be okay and I'm here for you. We can fix this."

"Don't Tweek, you don't deserve the pain and suffering. It's going to be okay."

"I look at you as what a person is. You are strong, beautiful, capable, and vulnerable in a good way. It is okay to have these strong emotions concerning what you've been through. I even like how you stood up to that fatass Cartman by calling him out on his bullshits. You are genuine and I wish that everybody can see it including Craig."

"If it wasn't for the breakup and Cartman, you won't grow into the person you are without Craig. That doesn't excuse Cartman, Craig, and everybody else to glorify anxiety for their ignorant motivations. Anxiety and mental health issues are something people can't hide from nor look down upon nor taken lightly. There are always help out there, so you don't have to face it alone. People like you are unique, real, and capable more than what people only see in them and I admire people like you. Don't let them undercut or sidetrack you."

'The greater our innocence, the greater our strength and the swifter our victory'~ Mahatama Gandhi

'The caged bird sings with a fearful trill, of things unknown, but longed for still, and his tune is heard on the distant hill, for the caged bird sings of freedom.' ~ Maya Angelou

'I know why the caged bird sings, ah me, When his wing is bruised and his bosom sore,- When he beats his bars and would be free; It is not a carol of joy or glee, But a prayer that he sends from his heart's deep core, But a plea, that upward to Heaven he flings- I know why the caged bird sings!' ~ Paul Laurence Dunbar

'Nothing is more beautiful than a smile struggled through tears'~ Demi Lovato

'There remains what seems like an impenetrable wall of silence around violence and we must all play a role in breaking this silence.' ~ Reese Witherspoon

'We must send a message across the world that there is no disgrace in being a survivor of sexual violence – the shame is on the aggressor' ~ Angelina Jolie

'I'll be damned if somebody's gonna say that every creatively intelligent thing I ever did is all boiled down to one dickhead that did that to me.' ~ Lady Gaga

"You're capable more than you think."  
~ Flashback ends ~

I notice a brick building that say 'Library' on the sign. Hmm... this could help me get my mind off of it. I remembered the last time being in the library. I somehow ended up passed out in my room and Craig was here. Not to mention, I need to take a break from screen time.

No one's point of view

Tweek enters the library where he roams aisles to aisles in search for a book to read. He lets out a 'hmm' and scratches his head at the lined-up books. He picks out books he finds intriguing including I Know Why Caged Birds Sing by Maya Angelou and To Kill a Mockingbird and goes to a table to sit down and read.

~ 1 or 3 ½ hours later ~

Tweek's point of view

I feel so emotional after reading these books. I always thought books are for nerds, dorks, dweebs, and know-it-alls according to the boys. Mainly Clyde and Cartman. However, I was wrong about books. Note to self: Never listen to Clyde nor Cartman.

The books actually narrate and touch the struggles and sentiments I can relate to along with people and the characters had been through. The books I read tackle on sexual assault/rape such as I Know Why Caged Birds Sing by Maya Angelou and 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher (I knew that the show 13 Reasons Why is based on a book!). I still can't forget how that son of a bitch Bryce raped Jessica and Hannah. Just like how my rapist does it to me at the woods. How Marcus attempted to take advantage of Hannah. Just like how my rapist does it to me at the carnival while I was on my first date with Craig! The books I read highlight on PTSD such as Eden by Adrea Kleine, An Untamed State by Roxane Gay, and Beloved by Toni Morrison. One of the books that click to me is Mysterious Skin by Scott Heim.

Some of the books I choose explores themes of LGBT and miscellaneous subjects. It is amazing how there are bad things happening to people and nobody is there to help them. It surprises me to see how everybody realistically treat them like shit according to the books. Nobody gives a damn about them who are hurting.

Oh wait, I know what it is like to be shitted on by people when putting myself in their shoes. I don't get how they put up with the hell and bullshits they're in because of everybody. Especially Cartman's. Huh, I remembered teasing Token for being rich thanks to Cartman's complaint in Ms. Choksondik's class.

~ Flashback starts (at Ms. Choksondik's class) ~

"Very very good, Token. You get a check plus."

"Alright!"

"Aw, that is such bullcrap!"

"No! No, see, this is the fundamental flaw with the check check-plus check-minus system! The only reason Token was able to do all that is because his family is rich!"

"My family isn't rich."

"Oh, come on, Token! Your new house is four times the size of anyone else's in town! And who else gets crab cakes and, and lobster tail in their lunch boxes?!"

"Your family _is_ rich, dude."

"But I..."

"Let's just see where Token's clothes come from, shall we? Ooooo, Armani Exchange!"

"Aharmani Exchange?"

"All the rest of us have to buy our clothes at J mart! Have you even been inside a J mart, Token?! I didn't think so!"

"Yeah, dude, your family is so rich they have their own pool table."

"Yeah. And their own sprinkler system. You don't think you're rich?"

~ At Stan's house ~

"Hey you guys."

"Oh hey, dude. Did you bring the movie?"

"I sure did."

"Hey, you changed your clothes, Token."

"Yeah, well, you know, I did a little shopping at J mart."

"Alright, well, let's just watch the Lion King. Cartman's cheating anyway."

"Here you go."

"What's that?"

"It's a DVD of the Lion King."

"DVD? We don't own a DVD player."

"Yeah, dude."

"Not too expensive for Token's rich ass family, apparently."

"Don't you have a VHS of it?"

"I only have this."

"Oh, well, let me take this disk up to the Enterprise and see if Captain Kirk can decrypt it."

"What's a VHS?"

"Oh, Jesus, dude."

"Come on, guys. We'll just have to find other stuff to do."

"What's a VHS?"

~ Flashback ends (at the school's corridor) ~

'Geez, Cartman is now getting my last nerve. Or the time where everybody bashed on Kyle just because he acts like his own mother or tries to help solve problems every time,' I can hear the voice of my conscious in my mind, 'Give me one reason why you, Craig, Heidi, and Cartman helps Kyle to find his little brother after what they did to him.'

~ Flashback starts ~

"Oh. Uh. Oh. Ugh! Goddamn!"

"Piece of shit!"

"Honey, I want to watch Terrance & Phillip with my friends!"

"You promised we'd have a date night!"

"It's just one night, babe. Stan is having a viewing party, honey."

"So then why can't I come?"

"Terrance & Phillip is a guys' night thing, baby."

"Uh, hey, hey, hey! What the hell are you all doing?"

"Watching Heidi get her bitch-ass kicked!"

"Fuck you, Wendy!"

"Don't take that crap, Heidi! Let Cartman have it!"

"Guys! Guys, this has gone on way too long. Can't we all stop being so mean to each other?"

"Shut up, Kyle. You sound like your mom."

"Th- that was awesome, baby. I love you."

"I love you too, babe."

"Awww."

"Dammit."

"Fight's over. Kyle ruined it."

~ At Stan's house ~

"Oh look, honey. Kyle's mom is here. Shouldn't you be at temple, Ms. Broflovski?"

"Uf, Kyle's mom doesn't like the cartoon, guys. Better shut it off."

~ Another flashback starts (After the 'nuking on Canada' episode) ~

"We'll help you."

"We'll all help you."

"Guys this could be very dangerous."

"You're not going. You promised that tonight, we would have a date night."

"Darling this is a little more pressing than date night."

"Oh great. So, Kyle's stupid brother goes missing, and I get fucked. How come I'm always the one getting shit on around here?"

"I don't need anyone to go with me."

"Oh, what's the matter, Kyle? Don't want me around because you had the hots for me and I shut you down?"

"I would never have the hots for the person you are now."

~ Flashback ends ~

"Because I feel like a shitty person for shitting on Kyle thanks to Cartman?"

'Exactly. You're a shitty person for shitting on him and his own people because of Cartman. Cartman is one of those people who just does this for attention or the heck of it and didn't care about others at all. He is the type of people who disregards the consequences of his own actions and never learn from his mistakes. Why do you even hang out with him? His bullshits are getting old really fast.'

"Yeah, why do I even hang out with him? I can't believe them. I can't believe Butters is even friends with him."

~ Flashback starts ~

"If it wasn't for the breakup and Cartman, you won't grow into the person you are without Craig. That doesn't excuse Cartman, Craig, and everybody else to glorify anxiety for their ignorant motivations. Anxiety and mental health issues are something people can't hide from nor look down upon nor taken lightly. There are always help out there, so you don't have to face it alone. People like you are unique, real, and capable more than what people only see in them and I admire people like you. Don't let them undercut or sidetrack you."

~ Flashback ends ~

Wendy is right. If it wasn't for him, then me and Heidi wouldn't be friends. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have to break up with Craig. I wouldn't grow into the person I am now without Craig. It dawns on me to the point where Wendy and Heidi taught me on dealing with people like Cartman and my rapist by standing up for myself or turning the other cheek around. Then again, I am still in my thoughts on how can I turn myself around. There are bad things in the world, people are hurting, and everybody just neglect them ever since the Buddha Box incident.

I get up from the table to put the books away to the right shelves. Giving the librarian a smile and wave at her to say goodbye to her, I exit out of the library and look up at the sky to see a rainbow and the sun. Despite tears are still streaking down on my face, I hold my head and smile as I was walking down the street.

~ Flashback starts ~

'Nothing is more beautiful than a smile struggled through tears'~ Demi Lovato

~ Flashback ends ~

I was walking down the street when all of a sudden.

"Stop it right there, rascals!" I see a man chasing and cornering a little boy who is around seven or eight years old and his sister, around Tricia's and Karen's age. They have something in hands what appears to be boxes of medicine, a bottle of water, and a cup noodle, "You're in so much trouble right now!"

"Please, let us go!" I hear the little boy begging to the man.

"I don't care! What are you think?! Stealing from my shop?! I am calling the cops on you two!"

"Listen to us! They're for our father! He is sick and we don't have any money!" I can see the pleading look on the girl's face, "Don't put us in jail!"

"Save it for the judge!"

"Hey!" I dash straight at them, facing the man who runs after these kids, "How much for that stuff?!"

"A dollar and twenty-five cents for bottled water, a dollar for a chicken cup noodle, seven dollars and sixty–five cents for the cough syrup, and ten dollars for these pills. Why is it any of your concern?" he replied to me as I was taking out of my wallet to give a twenty-dollar bill to him.

"Here is twenty dollars," I lend him a twenty-dollar bill, "Keep the change and it won't happen again. Take it easy on them. They're kids and their father is sick. Please?"

The man snatches the twenty-dollar bill from me, wearing a stern look on his face before turn his attention to the two kids. He tells them, "You're lucky that I don't call the cops on you. Don't you ever come to my shop again! If you see you brats again, I will call the cops on you!"

I watch as the man walks away, leaving the kids alone. One little girl comes up to me and wraps her arms around my legs for a hug. I come to her level to hug her back.

"Thank you. You are an angel," The smile on the girl's face warms my heart up.

"No problem," I comfort her.

"Why would you do that? You don't even know us," Her brother asks me puzzledly.

"There are times where it is important to do something nice to the people who needs it the most. Especially if people have a family. I understand this whole situation and where this is coming from. Your father is sick and you don't have enough money to afford these things for him," I reassure them, "As Lilo from Lilo and Stitch would say, 'Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.'"

"Thank you very much. I don't know how to repay," appreciated the boy.

"No need to repay me. One word of advice is to pay it forward with the act of kindness. Don't worry, everything will be okay. Believe in yourself and work hard to reach for the stars."

"Thank you for being a kind person. You are an angel. Come on Fiona, let's get home to our father," He takes his sister's hand and leave with the stuff I paid for them.

"Okay, Liam." As I watch them leave, something clicks in me. While I was trapped in my trauma, there are people around me that are suffering. They are like birds. Innocent and frail; make beautiful melodies; keep holding on through ups and downs. Too bad everybody is too busy with the Buddha Box to care about them. I got it! I know what to do!

~ Scenario #1 ~

"Please help me. I need to feed my family please," I see an African-American woman with a sign that says 'Trying to feed my family' asking a businesswoman.

"Trying to feed my family? More like buying drugs or alcohol!" scoffed the businesswoman. The homeless woman is shaking her head back and forth in the corner of my eyes.

"Seriously why don't you try finding a job?!" She walks away from her. The homeless woman is on the verge of tears from the look in her eyes as she is sitting on the ground, weeping. Poor woman. I don't blame her.

I survey around to notice a small market behind me. In the window, there are metal pans of foods.

'Hmm... This gives me an idea,' I enter the small market where I find some bananas, clementines, a bag of bread rolls, and canned ham and tuna with an easy end. When getting to the checkpoint, I order some foods from the metal pan.

After paying them, I go outside to locate the homeless woman who is on the ground with her head down.  
"Excuse me, miss? I have some foods for you," I give her two bags of foods. She looks at me with a smile on her face and tears watering out of her eyes.

"Thank you so much!"

"I also have some spare change for you as well," I slip two dollars and coins in her hands, "I know it is not that much, but this is all I have."

"Oh lord! Thank you so much! You are an angel! A saint! God bless you!" I smile and give her a hug.

"Yeah, you're welcome," I whisper to her.

~ Scenario #2 ~

Chirp!

Chirp!

Chirp!

Chirp!

I find four baby birds on the grass near a bush. From the tone of their cries and how they are limping, I can tell that they're hurt. It breaks my heart to see them injured out in the open! They'll be killed and I don't want them to die!

Opening the pockets of my coat, I manage to find a black bandana and white mittens. As I was putting on the white mitten, I cup hands out to the four baby birds to gently pick them up and wrap them around in a black bandana.

"Shh... It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Shush, my little ones," I cooed them softly like I'm their mother. Just like how my mother soothed me when I was young and afraid of monsters lurking in the closet or living under my bed. Or the dark, "Shush, my little ones. Don't be scared, my little ones. I'm going to take you to the vet. You're hurting." I carry them in my hands to get to a nearby vet.

~ At the vet ~

"Hi, I am here with these four baby birds. I find them on the grass near the bush, limping and crying inconsolably," I present the vet the baby birds.

"All right, I'll do what I can do. In the meantime, wash your hands. The bathroom is straight to your left," she said as she carries them to another room.

"Okay," I get up to go to the bathroom which is straight to my left.

~ 45 minutes or an hour later ~

"I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that not only the baby birds have broken legs, but also broken wings, so I take them to the surgery room to do an operation with my assistants," She informs me, "The good news is that the operation is a success. They're okay now."

"How long will they recover?" I ask her.

"About weeks. I'll take them to a wildlife rehabilitator. Thank you so much for rescuing these baby birds."

"You're welcome."

~ Scenario #3 (at a synagogue) ~

"I got some flowers for you," I furnish bouquets of dozens of flowers to the Jewish priest. The flowers I picked out from the field. My hands are sore from a lot of picking, "I am deeply sorry for their losses."

I feel a pit of regret inside me as I imagine Kyle's people laying down dead in coffins. They would've been alive if it wasn't for Cartman and people like him. Heck, none of the shooting events would've happened if it wasn't for Cartman and people like him. I wish I should've apologized to Kyle and these people for taking parts on the 'Shitting on People' parade or club hosted by Cartman and people like him. To put it in terminology, assholes! It is no wonder why Kyle is being resentful towards Heidi; it is because of Cartman. But why did Kyle forgive me after the horrible things I did to him? Making fun of him, his mother, and his people? Being an asshole or a bitch to him?

"Thank you so much. You're an angel to our people," He blessed.

~ Scenario #4 (at a community center) ~

"Everybody! We have a treat from this little boy! He is going to sing for us!" I can hear the people in the community center cheering as I walk up on stage.

"Keep breathing. Keep holding on. Keep singing beautiful melodies. Spread your wings, my little Tweekie Bird," I tell myself to calm myself down, "1, 2, 3, go."

~Cue the music (Song #1: Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne) ~

You're not alone  
Together we stand  
I'll be by your side  
You know I'll take your hand  
When it gets cold  
And it feels like the end  
There's no place to go  
You know I won't give in  
No, I won't give in  
Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through  
We'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you  
I'm here for you  
There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through  
We'll make it through  
So far away  
I wish you were here  
Before it's too late  
This could all disappear  
Before the doors close  
And it comes to an end  
With you by my side, I will fight and defend  
I'll fight and defend  
Yeah, yeah  
Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through  
We'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you  
I'm here for you  
There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through  
We'll make it through  
Hear me when I say, when I say I believe  
Nothing's gonna change  
Nothing's gonna change destiny  
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah  
La da da da  
La da da da  
La da da da da da da da da  
Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through  
We'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you  
I'm here for you  
There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through  
We'll make it through  
Keep holding on  
Keep holding on  
There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through  
We'll make it through

When the song ends, I look to see smiles all over the people's face as they are applauding. I also see tears cascading out of their eyes out of everything I'd been feeling from my sexual assault and PTSD. Weeks or months of being trapped. Weeks or months of the pain. Weeks or months of anxiety and stress. Weeks or months of doubts. Weeks or months of frustration and anger.

Through the window, I glimpse birds on branches. Doves. Canaries. Chickadees. Jays. Turning my attention on the necklace, I kiss the bird penchant and press it on my chest.

Like a bird, they sing beautiful melodies and are innocent and frail. Even if they are imprisoned in cages. Like a bird, they spread their wings to fly through the sky without any limits. Like a bird, they keep breathing in this fucking world!

Even if their wings are broken, their strength is never forgotten!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: I did throwbacks on South Park's previous seasons and episodes, including Super Hard PCness from season 21, episode 9.


	20. Craig's Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own South Park or anything else. South Park belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
> 
> Warning: Profanities, mentions of sexual assault/rape, and other contents or anything considered inappropriate.

Chapter 20: Craig's Realization

Craig's point of view

"Tricia, can I ask you something?"

"What is it, big bro?" She flips me off and I flip her back as well.

"I am worried about Tweek."

"How so?" She raises her eyebrow at me, "By the way, how's the first date?"

"First of all, my first date with Tweek is amazing," I can't forget different versions of Tweek; this is why I love Tweek and I can't bear the thought of losing Tweek. Fun. Sweet. Lovable. Angelic. Lights up the world like nobody else like a ray of sunshine. Of course, I can't resist his cute ass, "Second, there is something wrong with Tweek recently."  
"When? How?"  
"The football game and our first date. I notice stitches on his arms. When I find him at the carnival after trying to look for him, he seems to be trembling like he's about to have a panic attack. What troubles me is when I saw bruises on his face and neck. Tweek says that 'he fell on the way to search for me, but I think he's lying," I explain my concerns with Tricia, "If Tweek 'fell on the way to search for me', then he would have bruises on his knees and hands. Not to mention, who took so long to go to the bathroom? 15 or 30 minutes?! The bruises on Tweek's face and neck look like someone's hurt him."

"I'm all ears, bro. From what I'm hearing, there is something wrong with Tweek. I remembered I saw him caked in makeups. Last time, he wore dark-colored outfits that covered him from head to toes and accessorize very rocker/punk-style," Tricia has good points. In fact, I did saw him like that in last weeks or months, "Well, that is before you and Tweek got back together."

"Me too. He has been depressed in last weeks or months," I scratch my head as I try to piece things together into one bigger picture. The bruises on his face and neck. The stitches on his arms. The way he is trembling. The way he is dressed. The look in his green-hazel eyes. His fake smile, "The last time I saw him is when I rushed to the library to find him crying and running out of the school." What happened to the boy I loved and lost because of me?

"That explains why you're at his house."

"And he wasn't even there in his house other than his parents who are still in the Buddha Box."

"Actually Craig, he is now living in Wendy's house. Red told me about it," Tricia tells me where Tweek is. He is living at Wendy's house? When? Why? How? I need to talk to Red, Heidi, and Wendy. I need to hear what's going on with my love.

"Wait... Hmm..."

But then, I remember before the football game when me and David got into a fight at the locker room; it still pisses me off. At the same time, I regret not protecting Tweek as a boyfriend should be.

~ Flashback starts (at the locker room) ~

"While you're on your phone at home, I care about Tweek more when he's having a fricking panic attack because of one pervertido having the audacity to groped and kissed him outside of the market!" David shouted at me.

~ Flashback ends ~

"I think I know why," I gasped, "I think the fucking pervert has something to do with Tweek. The fucking pervert David is talking about has something to do with Tweek."

"What are you thinking? What did 'the fucking pervert' do to Tweek?" I can sense the seriousness in Tricia's voice.

"The fucking pervert David mentioned groped and kissed Tweek outside of the market!" My body is heating up like a kettle pot on a hot stove. I need to get to the bottom of this and give that asshole a knuckle sandwich!

"What?!"

"That's it, I'm going to Red's house!" I march downstairs and exit out of the house.

"I'm coming with you! I want to know what did that asshole did to my precious future brother in law!"

~ Going to Red's house (30 minutes later) ~

Knock! Knock! Knock!

The door opens to see Uncle Skeeter. The only sane person who isn't in the Buddha Box. Well, it is actually because the Buddha Box is the reason why he is drowning in bills that he begins to work his ass off on every shift.

"Craig! Tricia! Come in, kiddos!" Uncle Skeeter greets us as we get inside the house.

"Hey Uncle Skeeter, me and Tricia are here for cousin Red," I tell him.

"Oh, Red is in her room upstairs." I nod at him alongside Tricia.

"Thank you, Uncle Skeeter," Tricia and I climb upstairs and go to the door of Red's room.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"Who is it?" I can hear Red's voice in her room.

"It's us. Craig and Tricia," I called her.

"Okay, you can come in," I open the door for Tricia and myself, entering in her room, "Hey Red, me and Tricia need to talk to you regarding to Tweek."

"What about Tweek?"

"There is something wrong with Tweek and Craig wants to know what's going on with him. He thinks that someone has something to do with him and why Tweek has been acting very unusual," Tricia elaborates to Red.

Red sighs deeply as she taps rapidly on the screen of her phone, "Tricia, Craig, I am going to text Wendy and Heidi to come to my house. They know what happened to Tweek and I was informed by them about that..."

"Spit it out! I don't have all day! I want to fucking know what the fuck happened to my honey!"

"Craig!"

"All right! Fine! Tweek is raped by some older guy! Tweek is raped by some older guy!" Red blurted out the unthinkable. Tweek is raped by that motherfucking pervert?!

"What?!" Tricia and I scream our lungs out at the word 'raped'. My worst nightmare has come true. Tweek is raped by that motherfucker! I knew what that motherfucker from my cousin Red!

"No, no, no! No!" I clench my fist to punch the wall. I don't fucking care if my knuckle hurts like a bitch.

"Woah, woah, woah! Not in my room!" protested Red.

"Take it easy, Craig!" Tricia attempts to calm me down.

"Take it easy?! How can I take it easy if I let a devil like him hurts my angel?! I am fucking pissed off! Why didn't anyone tell me about it?! Why Tweek didn't tell me about it?!"

"Uh... other than you being in the Buddha Box thanks to the fucking fatass?!" Red points it out to me. Congratulation, Miss Captain Obvious for bringing up the Buddha Box, "And look at the mess you and Cartman caused! Tweek is now scarred for life!"

"Wait, how?! How does it happen?! How long has this been going on for?!"

"The past weeks or months during the Buddha Box episode and Tweek's breakup with Craig," addressed Red.

"The past weeks or months?"

"Yes!" I look at Red and Tricia in full shock. I can't believe it! I fail to protect Tweek! I hurt Tweek! I throw Tweek away for a fucking Buddha Box! It is my fault for this!

I crumble down on the ground as I feel the tears leaking in my eyes. Normally, I wear everything in armor to maintain my image as a person who doesn't take shits or give fucks. But no! My sweetheart! My honey! My beloved angel! He means everything to me!

"Craig?"

"Craig?"

I can sense the arms of Red and Tricia being wrapped around me as I come clean with my feelings, "It is just... I thought that the Buddha Box would help me ease the stress from Tweek since we became a couple. At first, I feel so happy to have this sense of freedom all to myself, yet there is a void in me yearning for him. And I regret leaving him to be put through hell days after days."

"Craig, you and Tweek broke up like two times. It is normal for couples to break up for whatever reasons you guys have. What I like about you and Tweek as a couple is that you two never give up on each other no matter what. Heck, you manage to win the football game for Tweek and go on a date with him," reminded Tricia.

"You and Tweek still stay together in the 'Skankhunt42' incident. Unlike me and Kevin," added Red, "I feel bad for rudely dumping him and starting a war with him."

"It is because we're both guys."

"Still, it proves that you and Tweek are stronger than anything else beyond the world."

"No! Tweek will hate me for abandoning him and..." I continue my sobbing, "It is my fault for the hell he has to deal with!"

"Hey! We make mistakes in life! We are human beings! We are not fucking robots!" asserted Tricia, "Besides, Tweek always and will love you eternally no matter what. Relationships take a lot of work."

"If it wasn't for you, then Tweek won't change into the person he is now. A beautiful butterfly, bird, or flower," said Red, "Beautiful both on the inside and outside. You are the reason why Tweek grows to have love, patience, and learn from the pain and he turns out to be amazing."  
"Are you referring lyrics from Ariana Grande?"  
"Yes. Thank You, Next. Tweek is so, is so, is so grateful for you. Been there when Tweek tried out an audition for the talent show. I got the video from my phone."

"Can I see it?" From Red and Tricia, I can see how Tweek is the best thing in my life the day and time me and Tweek become a couple. He is the sunshine to my cloudy and rainy day. He is the sun to my moon. He shines brighter than any glitter, gold, or galaxies in the world.

Unlike Cartman's relationship with Heidi, me and Tweek may have arguments, but we work together to solve our issues and talk about our feelings. I learn that we need to work on communication and patience with each other in a relationship. At least, I don't treat Tweek like a punching bag like Cartman did to Heidi because I promise to never cause Tweek so much hell. I promise to make my baby so happy.

~ Flashback starts

"It's okay, my angel," I whisper to him, swabbing tears off of his face. I'm sorry Tweek for making you cry. I'm sorry Tweek for giving you the pain you have to put up with. I'm sorry Tweek for not being there for you.

I get up from his bed and take the towel, makeup remover, and dirty wipes and round things to the bathroom. I throw shit tons of soiled wipes and round things into the trash can and put the makeup remover and towel back to the sink. I reenter to his room to lay on his bed next to Tweek. I come close to him and cuddle him to give him a soft peck on the lips.

"I love you," I said to him before letting out a yawn and drifting myself to sleep beside him.

"So... it's been long I've seen you since the Buddha box."

"Yeah, I'm now in cheerleading and doing my own things in my spare time. I'm still working at the coffee shop. I've been doing better. How are you?"

"Umm… to be honest, I feel like shit."

"Really, how so?"

"I got after-school detentions for being late to class because I overslept. I forgot to take care of Stripes. I did shit on my works. Tricia is the only sensible person in my household."

"That makes a lot of senses."

"Of course, I forgot about you."

"What about me? Is it why we are going on this date?"

"Well, yes. Tweek, I have realized that you're the only one I want and love the most. I couldn't trade you for anything. I can't stand the thought of losing you because of me."

"Craig, I... I... I."

"I know I'm the one causing the pain you have to endure all by yourself and you probably have every right to be upset at me for leaving you in the dirt. I'm sorry for everything. I can do anything to get your trust back."

"If you put it this way. You may not be perfect to be boyfriend material, but at least you're not like Cartman at all. Please don't ever break my heart again."

"I won't, honey."

~ Flashback ends ~

I still can't forget about Heidi's speech in the cafeteria. As always, Cartman has to play the victim for attention and shits. He does it every fucking time! Bitch, bitch, bitch! Whine, whine, whine! Cry, cry, cry like a fucking crybaby! I remembered how he fucked the school up in the presidential fitness test! Because of him, we had to stay in the gym doing fucking PE and not going outside for recess!

~ Flashback starts (at the school auditorium) ~

"Last week the students of this school participated in the Presidential Fitness Test. I'm sad to announce that South Park Elementary scored the lowest in health and fitness in the entire country. On the whole, you students actually scored fine. But the President's Fitness Test is scored on a school-wide average, and one fourth grader at this school scored so low, with a terrifying body fat score and high blood pressure and the cholesterol levels of a seventy-year-old man, that it actually brought your entire school's average down to the lowest in the country. However, the Presidential Fitness Program never wants to single out one child, because then that child might feel bad. And so as far as we're concerned, you're all a bunch of fat fuckin' pigs."

"Ah, could you please use a little different terminology?"

"Sorry. As far as the board is concerned, you're all a bunch of fat fuckin' pigs. And so, it is the recommendation of this board that every week, each class will alternate turns, giving up their recesses and instead of reporting to PE."

"AWWW!"

~ At the gym ~

"Alright, fourth-grade class, you're up first. We're going to do some rope-climbing."

"God this sucks!"

"Four weeks we got to do this?"

"Well let's just suck it up, guys. All we can try to do is have a positive attitude about it."

"Alright McCormick, let's start with you. Climb the rope."

"Heheh! Look at Kenny. He's so poor, huh you guys? His family's so poor they couldn't pay the three ninety-nine for the gym outfit."

"Alright, let's go Broflovski."

"Heheheheheh! Look you guys, a Jew on a rope. You know what they call a Jew on a rope?"

"Alright Cartman, stop ripping on other people to make yourself less embarrassed about the fact that we're all here because of you!" Stan calls Cartman out.

"Hey whoa, we are here because the average score was low. That's about all of us." Cartman puts his hands up in the air like he didn't do anything.

"Because of you! It's your fault that we have to do this! We have to do this because you're unhealthy!" Stan once again is not having it with Cartman's bullshits. Wow, I have respect for him even though he is my rival.

"Yeah. We're paying for your being fat," I was there to shut him and his bullshits up.

"Wow, Craig. I can't believe you just went there. Here we were having a perfectly nice conversation about Kenny being poor and Kyle being a Jew, and you just decided to go 9/11 and bust out the fat quip."

"We ARE here because of you, Eric, so just keep your mouth shut!" Wendy shouts at Cartman. Say to the girl who kissed him back in the third grade; kicked his ass for making fun of her presentation on breast cancer.

"Oh my God! Why doesn't everyone just back off?! I know how this works: You're the 99% ganging up on the 1%!" And the award goes to Cartman for being the best drama king ever in the world.

"Oh, grow up," Clyde tells him off to stop acting very immature. This is why I'm friend with him.

"Jesus Christ! The 99% is totally ganging up on me!" Ugh, again with him crying out wolf and make everything about himself. Cartman, Cartman, Cartman!

"That's what we mean by "grow up" dude! Stop being a baby!"

"Yeah, why don't you go home and cry to your stuffed animals again?!" His last word is him gasping and yes, crying his eyes to his stuffed animals.

~ Flashback ends ~

Ugh, why do I tolerate Cartman and his bullshits?! Why do I even listen to him?! Oh wait, I forgot that I'm a fucking shithead for listening to him and I have to pay the price for throwing Tweek out of the window.

~ Flashback starts ~

"Hey guys, can we have your attention? Tomorrow night we'll be having a memorial service for all the students we've lost to distracted driving. We hope you can all bring your families."

"Cool, yeah. Hey guys, and there's also going to be a suicide awareness pot luck at 7:30 tomorrow night in the school gymnasium. We're going to have lots of games and face-painting, and uh, what are you guys going to have?"

"...Uh, w-we're going to have some guest speakers and also provide grievance counselors for those who need it."

"Yeah, grievance counseling, that sounds super fun. Listen guys, there's a very real chance I might actually do it right in front of everyone tomorrow, so you don't want to miss it. Suicide prevention pot luck, everybody."

"Eric, you need to stop. What they're doing is important."

"They're doing a memorial service with speeches and crying. What's that going to solve?"

"It's not about problem-solving, Eric. It's about people getting together and feeling what they need to feel. People need help sorting out their emotions sometimes. And the best thing isn't always quick answers, but just being there, supporting each other and... talking through those feelings."

"You are so up and down. I don't know what you want from me, Heidi!"

"Come on, there has to be a way we can all work together here."

"So now you're on their side! Oh my God, I'm seriously going to do it right now!"

"Eric!"

~ Flashback ends ~

"All right. We can watch the video as we are waiting for Wendy and Heidi to come over."

~ 3 minutes later ~

Ding! Dong!

"Oh, that must be Wendy and Heidi," Red gets up to go downstairs. For a minute, Red returns with Wendy and Heidi.

"Hi Craig. Hi Tricia," Wendy and Heidi greet me and Tricia.

"Hey."

"Hi Wendy and Heidi," Tricia waves at them.

"I heard that you figure out what happened with Tweek," Wendy and Heidi both nod at each other as they take a deep breath.

"Yes, how does this happen to Tweek in the past weeks or months?" I ask them curiously. It is time for me and Tricia to hear them out.

"Well, it all started..."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I did throwbacks to previous seasons and episodes of South Park including "Put It Down" from season 21, episode 2. I also make references to one of the previous chapters of this fanfiction in there.


	21. I Love You, Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own South Park or anything else. South Park belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
> 
> Warning: Attempted rape, homophobia, PTSD, violence, and any other contents that are considered inappropriate.

Chapter 21: I Love You, Tweek

Tweek's point of view

Ugh, I feel so sore! My head. My back. My neck. Every parts of my body are killing me! Everything around me looks very blurry as I was opening my eyes. I'm here, lying on a mattress covered in a blue blanket. I observe the room I'm in which seems familiar to me. Wait a minute, this is not Wendy's living room! Purple curtains and floor. A mattress instead of Wendy's couch. A wooden dresser with a toy robot. Posters of the solar system, Space Trek, and The Terrance and Phillip Show. Stripes's cage. I haven't seen Stripes in weeks or months. I think I know whose room is and I am in. This is Craig's room. I remember waking Craig up whenever I found out the news about North Korea's going to get me on Twitter.

~ Flashback starts ~

"Waaah!"

"Ugh. Wuh. Hey Tweek," Craig wakes up just in time to show him the news on my phone.

"Look at what the President tweeted now!"

"What time is it, dude?"

"Just read it!" I give him my phone to present him the tweet from the president.

"North Korea doesn't have the balls to attack Tweek. They have little tiny rice balls."

"They're going to get me, Craig! Look at what's on CNN!" I grab the remote to turn on the TV.

"And the President's tweets have certainly caught the attention of North Korea, who have been spending the past several days viewing possible targets for a nuclear strike, if war were to break out."

"Waaaah! What am I going to do?!"

"You've got to calm down."

"How am I supposed to calm down?! North Korea is going to get me! They're going to get me!"

"Tweek. Tweek. Tweek!Let's think this through logically. North Korea isn't going to attack anyone, okay? They're not going to start a war they can't win. Okay?"

"But Craig, I-."

"Tweek! You have to stop thinking about it. Tell you what. We're going to go somewhere fun and make you feel better."

~ Flashback ends ~

This is how Craig and I had our first fight at the carnival. I ended up staying at home with fidget spinners until Craig came over to my house to talk things out. Although, I recently don't use fidget spinners very often.

~ Flashback starts ~

"Oh my God, what is that? What is that?!" My eyes roam around to see the carnival is in havoc with screaming kids and adults.

"It's probably nothing. Everything's fine," contradicted Craig.

"Will you please stop saying that?! I can't take it!" I am running out of patience on Craig for saying that everything is fine when in reality, it is not fine.

"I'm trying to make you feel better."

"Well, maybe I don't want to feel better right now!"

"Okay, but think about that. That actually doesn't make any sense."

"Why do you have to be so logical?! I don't need you to problem-solve all the time, I need you to... Augh, I don't know!" I attempt to tell him that he needs to discuss about our thoughts and feelings.

"Tweek, honey, all week you've been freaking out, and I've been the one forced to deal with it!"

"You haven't been dealing with it, you've been trying to make it go away because my emotions are freaking you out!"

"Tweek, North Korea isn't bombing anyone. They would lose the support of China, and that would mean-"

"There you go again! Stop preaching facts to me! It's not what I need!"

"Well, I'm sorry that I'm actually in control of my goddamn emotions, you baby! Oh, see? Now you made me lose control of my emotions. God dammit!" As Craig walks out, I am left losing my sanity.

~ Time skips (at my room) ~

"Tweek, what's going on?"

"What? What do you mean, what's going on?! The same shit that's been going on!"

"Nothing's gotten any better? Oh my God, how does that make you feel?"

"I feel scared! I feel alone!"

"Well, that must be horrible to feel that way. It must be hard for you to even think!"

"It is! It's terrible!"

"I bet it's terrible! What else are you feeling?"

"Like, like I have no control over my life. Like I'm just a pawn in a big game."

"Oh, that's a terrifying thought. You must feel trapped."

"Yeah, like trapped, but like, completely unable to even move."

"Jesus, it's like there's no solution to any of this! What are you gonna do? What can you do?"

"I don't know, it's... it's like... maybe, maybe I have to find a way to feel a little in charge of me again."

"That sounds so insurmountable though. How would you even start?"

"I don't know, but I I've going to do something about this. There's got to be a way I can..." An idea pops out of my mind. I turn to Craig and smile at him, "Thank you, Craig. I've got it. People aren't focused on the right thing. I know what I should do."

~ Flashback ends ~

Me and Craig made up when we composed and sang the song "Put It Down" with our classmates and parents. Cartmn had to waltz in to ruin the song by doing his rapping about suicide. Realistically, he is just doing it just for attention like any other assholes do.

His voice is even huskier and sexier than the time when he sang in the anti-bullying video created by Stan. His voice is one of the reasons why I love him in the first place.

Before the production had a second thought and the school's about to be sued by Dr. Oz because Butters savagely kicked his ass in the Dr. Oz show.  
Hmm... But there is one question. How am I in his room? Why do I feel achy? I recalled leaving Wendy's house to go to the library. The only items I have are my purse and phone.

~ Flashback starts ~  
"Hey Wendy, I'm going to the library."

"Tweek, here is a pepper spray for you," Wendy hands me a small, pink keychain bottle.

"Oh, thanks Wendy," I hug her.

"Anytime, Tweek."

"Bye Wendy."

"Bye Tweek."

~ Flashback ends ~

I find my purse on the ground next to me. Reaching down to unzip my purse, I grab my phone to see what time is it. I turn on my phone to see it is 4am. Four in the morning? What? When? How?

Where was I? Oh okay, I left Wendy's house to go read some books at the library. Hours of reading from Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle", Toni Morrison's "The Bluest Eyes", and Sapphire's "Push" to Ashley Herring Blake's "Girl Made of Stars", R.A. Dickey's "Wherever I Wind Up", Laurie Halse Anderson's "Speak", and Amber Smith's "The Way I Used to Be". Books that are above my grade and reading level. The more I read these books, the more I reflect more on the bad things in this world. The more I become vulnerable. The more I feel my head throbbing. What if my head is about to explode?! And all of my blood and brain stuff will be splattered all over the place?!

What if there are bad things coming at my direction? Will I ever overcome them without anyone else?

After going to the library, I went to the coffee shop to start my shift. I texted Wendy where I was and when my shift is done. I miss this place and it is been weeks or months I haven't work here. But, I'm here to make ends meet in this shop without my parents there who are still in the fucking Buddha box! Hours of making and serving drinks and baked goods to customers, cleaning, and doing inventories. It is great to come back to the shop to work. Until...Oh my god! What is he doing here in the coffee shop!? My fucking rapist?! After what he did to me at the woods and I never miss his face. His smile that'd scare the shit out of Satan. His clothes. His hair. His tattoos on his left arm.

~ Flashback starts ~

"Nice ass, fag," I jump up at the touch of his hand on my ass.

"You're so cute acting all feisty and shit. I love it when you're playing hard to get, kitten."

"Tight ass."

"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!"

"You're even sexier without clothes on."

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night."

In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out...

"You're a pussy-ass cunthole!"

"Oh baby, let me fuck you so good!"

"You know love, I've always wanted to jack you off. Do you enjoy the way I make you moan and cum?!"  
~ Flashback ends ~

"What the fuck are you doing here?!"

"I never knew you're working here, cutie," His disgusting hand makes its way to my face.

"Don't fucking touch me!" I push his hand off of my face. I smack him across his face. He has the nerves to come to my shop after he assaulted me! I hate him! I fucking hate him! He is the reason why I lose everything! He is the reason why I cut myself out of self-blame and guilt I'm caged in! He is the reason for my PTSD!

"What the hell, bitch?! Have some respect!" I fall down on the floor from the punch on my face.

"Get the fuck out of here! Now! I don't want to see you again!"

"What did I tell you?! Have some respect!" There he is again, his palm against my face.

"Nice pantie there, blondie," His eyes are on what's under my yellow dress as he is on top of me. Oh shit! At an instant, he fucking kisses me on the lips and on my neck whereas his gross hands are on my ass! Just like in episode six on Thirteen Reasons Why when Marcus Cole humiliated Hannah Baker on their "date" because Hannah Baker refuses his sexual advances on her. Thus, Marcus Cole is the sixth reason for Hannah Baker's death.

No, no, no, no! Here come these flashbacks!

~ Flashback starts ~

"Tight ass."

"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!"

"You're even sexier without clothes on."

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night."

In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out...  
~ Flashback ends ~

I open my eyes to feel his tongue on the bottom of my pantie! His hands are crawling from my ass to my thighs and close to my private part! That fucking pervert!

"No!" I try to push him off of me, but he keeps on persisting. What the fuck is wrong with him?!

"The more you resist, the more I get horny," His tongue sinks deep in me, "You are too easy, precious."

"No! Don't touch me! Get off of me! No!" I knock him off of me. I clutch on the counter to get up and go to the back room.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?!" He carries and takes me to the back room, "Where was I with you?" He dives his lips on mine roughly, grinding his body against mine. I swear that his dick, firm and erected, is pressed against me.

He forcefully set me on the table face down. Oh no, what he's going to do to me?! No, no, no! This is similar to Thirteen Reasons Why both in the book and the series on Netflix. Bryce is the twelve reasons why Hannah Baker took her own life because he sexually assaulted her!

The dine of his pant unzipping and the clanging of his belt alarms me to panic mode. He yanks my pantie down to my ankle and insert his dick in my ass. Wincing in pain, I can feel his hands pinning me down on the table as he is raping me in my ass while leaving his marks on my back.

"Get off of me! Ahhh! Get off of me!"

"What's wrong, tight ass?! Can't handle my huge dick in your asshole?! You're just say it because you want it!" He grunts, groping my ass and pushing his dick in me further, "Light it up, dollface!" I can't believe that douchebag! That fucking bastard! Why me?! Why him?! Why them?! Why?!

~ Flashback starts ~

"Tight ass, sweetheart."

"Check it out on the blonde cutie, bro!"

"Damn bro, he got this sweet juicy ass!"

"I want to grind and bang that peach of his!"

"I want to ride him until I make him moan and scream louder!"

"Ow, ow, baby got back!"  
"Bang bang, baby!"  
"Look at that peachy ass!"

"Nice legs, pretty boy!"  
"Woah, you have a nice ass, cutie!"

"My, my, Tweek, did you feel down from heaven because you look and smell like an angel."

"Nice ass, fag."

"You're so cute acting all feisty and shit. I love it when you're playing hard to get, kitten."

"Tight ass."

"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!"

"You're even sexier without clothes on."

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night."

In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out...

"You're a pussy-ass cunthole!"

"Oh baby, let me fuck you so good!"

"You know love, I've always wanted to jack you off. Do you enjoy the way I make you moan and cum?!"  
~ Flashback ends ~

Maybe he did overpower me! Maybe I can't do anything to save myself from him! He is going to win and I'll end up hitting rock bottom! And everything I build to heal myself will crash and burn like the Twin Towers in New York!

'Oh, what! Are you going to lose to the devil himself next to Cartman!' A voice appears in my head.

'No!'

'Are you going to end up here at the bottom?! The dark?!'

'No!'

'Are you going to sit there and stay silent forever?!'

'No!'

'Are you going to let him and them control you like a pimp to his and their bottom bitch?!'

'No!'

'Are you going to be the old Tweek who always clings on Craig and be his damsel in distress?!'

'No! No! No!'

Why should I give my life away to someone who has a sick mind to batter and rape a person without any remorse?! Why should I care about what they are going to say and think about me?! Give me reasons why I should lose this battle?! This war?! Give me reasons why I should have somebody coming to my rescue when I am capable of standing my own ground and never back down without a fight more than I think?! Give me reasons why I should feel ashamed of myself for what he did to me?! Why me?! Why him?! Why them?! Why?!

'Remember the moments when you stood for yourself without anyone else?'

~ Flashback starts ~

"Hello!" Here comes the insane kid with a bazooka in his kids, ready to demolish

"The kid? The tweaked-out kid?! Damn it, Steven Spielberg! Again with "the tweaked-out kid"!?

"I'm going to blow up the print, Spielberg!"

"Your persistence surprises me."

"Surely you don't think you can escape from this premiere."

"That depends on how reasonable we're all willing to be. All I want are my friends."

"Wow."

"Except for Cartman. You can keep him," Yeah, they wish they would've kept him because he is a fucking fat asshole and I don't like him at all ever since I met him. But no!

"Ay!"

"Shut the fucking hell up, fat weasel! Don't talk about my friends like that! Don't even think about bringing him up! Like you have the nerves to say something to my friends! Do you have something to say, huh?! If you do, then say it my face! How fucking dare you?!"

"Oh, you think you're cool and shit and all?! Do people like an asshole like you?! Do people even put up with an asshole like you?! Not me because to tell you the truth, you suck! You suck worse than your fucking Buddha boxes and your little followers! I remember how you got your ass handed to you by a girl because of your bullshits! For so long, I had been hearing you go on and on about your bullshits! For so long, I had seen you fuck everything up! Do you think you expect to have everybody clean your messes up?! Do you even think you can get away with your bullshits with you being fake-ass as fuck?! Hell no, you're nothing but an unforgiving, ignorant, fake, egotistical, manipulative, lazy-ass, unaccountable, and malicious jackass to call yourself a person or friend to anybody else! Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Butters, David, Craig, Clyde, Token, Jimmy, Heidi, Wendy, Bebe, Nichole, and anyone else! You're a liar and you know that!

"You little motherfucker!"

Slap!

"You better shut the fuck up! My ears hurt from your little bitching mouth!"

"Oh, make me! Or is it because you're a damn dickrag! All barks and no bites! At least you got more bites considering all of the junk foods you consume! In fact, fuck you!"

"No! Don't you ever do this shit on me again, jackass! You may have raped me once, but not today! Get out of my sight and I will see you in hell!"  
~ Flashback ends ~

"Enough!" I push my hands up, lifting myself up to jab him in his jaw. I turn around to face and shove him off of me, pulling my pantie back on. Though my ass is sore thanks to his dick, I am not done with him, "That's it, I am going to give you a piece of my mind and fists for what you did to me at the woods and carnival on my first date!"

"Admit it, bitch, you ask for it!"

"No, I don't! I said no to you and your sexual advances multiple times!" I pick him up to throw him out of the back room, "At least I have a boyfriend who treats me with dignity! Hell, he didn't see me as a sex object, jackass!" I give him a black eye. Exiting out of the back room, I reach for my purse to get the pepper spray. Unfortunately, he attacks me from behind to make me drop it on the floor.

"What do you see in that asshole?! I give you love than that prick!" Is this guy fucking delusional?! How is it love when you harassed and raped a person?! Craig would never do something like this to me!

"No fucking way! You never give me love! You don't even know me! I was helpless and you groped, battered, stripped, and raped me!" I attack him with my fists, "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"

His hands are squeezing my wrists strongly and he jams me against the wall bluntly. I grit my teeth to suppress the pain on my back, neck, and head. I was thrashed in the face and chest and kicked in the stomach repetitively; being fling across by the jerk of my necklace. Oh no! My necklace! The necklace Heidi gave me.

Snap!

"No," I find my necklace on the floor as I can't believe my eyes. Broken. Broken like me and this is what left of me.

"You may have beaten the shit out of me, but do they believe a twinky fairy like you and your words?! Look at you, it is a joke to see you crying and be a fucking victim! Now I am going to teach you bitch a lesson!" I turn around to see him laughing at me and grabbing my neck. The more I struggle to break myself free, the more pressure he exerts on my neck.

"Any last words, wretch?!" He hisses at me, "Where is your boyfriend?! Is he supposed to be here to save your faggot ass?!"

"I have my last words!" I strike him in his balls using my knee as I stretch to the pepper spray. Lunging myself to bite him in his shoulder, I open the cap to spatter it on his eyes. The emotions of everything I felt in the past weeks or months fuels me to pummel him to a bloody pulp. Just like when Wendy kick Cartman's ass! Fuck Cartman! Fuck my rapist! Fuck everybody else!

I am Tweek Tweak and I'm more than just Craig's boyfriend, "I can fight my own battles without my boyfriend! I'm more than just a significant other or victim! And you can't take my life away from me!"

"I am capable more than I think! I am capable more than what you and everybody have to say and think about me! I have reasons why!" Panting, I kick him in his stomach four times. One is for the first time he did at the woods! Two is for the second attempt at the carnival on my first date with someone who actually loves me no matter! Third and last is for today to me and my necklace that is a part of me thanks to my friend, Heidi!

Coughing and worn out, I take a glimpse at him on the floor. I did it. I stand for myself without anyone else. I am capable more than I think. One minute the weights of the past weeks or months on my shoulders are being lifted. Reaching over the broken necklace, I place it against my chest as tears are flooding out of my eyes.

And the next thing I knew is that I'm on the floor, still clenching on the broken necklace and trying to keep holding on for my life. Just like Heidi told me.

"Keep breathing. Keep holding on. Keep singing beautiful melodies. Spread your wings, my little Tweekie Bird," I whisper, lying down as I let my blood and tears spilling on the floor. Next to my rapist. The devil himself.

~ Flashback starts ~

"Nice ass, fag."

"You're so cute acting all feisty and shit. I love it when you're playing hard to get, kitten."

"Tight ass."

"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!"

"You're even sexier without clothes on."

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night."

In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out...

"You're a pussy-ass cunthole!"

"Oh baby, let me fuck you so good!"

"You know love, I've always wanted to jack you off. Do you enjoy the way I make you moan and cum?!"  
~ Flashback ends ~

I thought I was a goner. I thought my time is up. I guess this is the death of me. Tweek Tweak aka Tweekie Bird, age ten, death by the hands of my rapist.

Before I can submit myself to the dark, I sense someone's approaching me. Or maybe two or three. All I can make a description of these people are: A girl with a purple tank top and pink skirt and one with a purple hoodie on and a green question mark. The last person I witness that stands out the most is a boy with a blue hat and jacket and black pant. It's Craig.

All I can hear before closing my eyes are voices coming from them.

"Holy shit! Tweek! Tweek!"

"Oh my god, Tweek! You're bleeding, hang in there!"

"Tweek! Honey! Don't die on me! I need you! I love you! Can somebody call an ambulance right fucking now?!"

Huh, I guess this is how I end up at Craig's house.

I slowly turn around to see Craig. Asleep right next to me. Oh Craig, you're so cute when you're asleep. Giggling to myself at him, I give him a peck on his cheek and lips. Craig did care about me all after; this is why I love him more than ever. Even if we have arguments or breakups, I still care about him to never give up on him. On the other side, I don't know if I can face him. What if he hates me for keeping this a secret by not telling him and lying to him?! What if I drive him away again with my own personal conflict? What if this situation can break me and Craig up again?!

"Thank you for saving my life, Craig," I mutter out to him, "I love you." After I give him one last kiss, I rose up from his bed and exit out of his bedroom door. Limping downstairs to the living room and the kitchen, I open the backyard door to get some fresh air.

I sit down on the wooden deck to gather my own thoughts. The wind and the stars in the sky help me clear my mind out. But then again, oh god! Ahhhhhhhhh!

~ Flashback starts ~

"Tight ass, sweetheart."

"Check it out on the blonde cutie, bro!"

"Damn bro, he got this sweet juicy ass!"

"I want to grind and bang that peach of his!"

"I want to ride him until I make him moan and scream louder!"

"Ow, ow, baby got back!"  
"Bang bang, baby!"  
"Look at that peachy ass!"

"Nice legs, pretty boy!"  
"Woah, you have a nice ass, cutie!"

"My, my, Tweek, did you feel down from heaven because you look and smell like an angel."

"Nice ass, fag."

"You're so cute acting all feisty and shit. I love it when you're playing hard to get, kitten."

"Tight ass."

"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!"

"You're even sexier without clothes on."

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night."

In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out...

"You're a pussy-ass cunthole!"

"Oh baby, let me fuck you so good!"

"You know love, I've always wanted to jack you off. Do you enjoy the way I make you moan and cum?!"

~ Flashback ends ~

"Damnit!" I cover my mouth to muffle my sobbing. I lower my head down to deteriorate myself in tears silently, "Why me?! Why him?! Why them?! Why?!"

Craig's point of view

"Thank you for saving my life, Craig. I love you," I wake up to see Tweek's not here next to me. I open the door to search for him. He couldn't be in the bathroom because the bathroom light is off. I assume he went downstairs for a glass of water or a mug of coffee.

I climb down the stairs and walk through the living room and to the kitchen. No, he isn't here and the coffee machine is untouched.

"Damnit! Why me?! Why him?! Why them?! Why?!" I approach him to the backyard only to find him crying. I sigh at how much pain and suffering he went through because of me. If it wasn't for the Buddha box and Cartman, then none of this would've happen in the first place. Mainly the horrible scene at his coffee shop where my baby is nearly dying in my arms thanks to the devil. And how the devil puts his disgusting dick in my baby! How the devil touches my baby! How the devil lays a finger on my baby!

~Flashback starts ~

"Well, it all started when Tweek was pulling his socks up after getting stuff for David's restaurant and this older guy came up on him to groped and kissed him. Tweek claims that his breath reeked of alcohols and cigarettes," I cringe at the thoughts of him touching Tweek and putting his off-putting mouth on my baby. Especially he is a lot bigger than him and Tweek is only ten years old, "He even had the audacity to talk to Tweek lewdly."

"This older guy he mentioned wears black T-shirt, denim sagging jeans, Jordan shoes, black leather jacket, and chains and his black hair is in a mohawk. He has tattoos on his left arm," From what Wendy had described him, he must be some douchebag who thinks he's cool and shit coming from the street.

"Where did he raped Tweek in or at?" added Tricia.

"Tricia, you're too young for this," I tell her.

"You're not going to like this. He kidnapped Tweek to the wood where he assaulted him sexually and physically after he discovered him at a restaurant; he tried to evade him," My blood runs cold as Heidi explains the ordeal Tweek is in thanks to that jackass.

"That son of a bitch! That scumbag!" My veins are popping out as I want to kick his ass. He has it coming for raping and laying a finger on Tweek!

"This is not the first time he did it to Tweek. Remember you and Tweek went on your first date?" asked Wendy.

"Oh yeah. Me and Tweek goes on so many rides and ate funnel cakes. I even won a stuffed puppy for him. Though I wish they have stuffed guinea pigs," I tell them about my date with Tweek. Of course, I did leave out the part where I made out with Tweek at the Ferris wheel; I stared at Tweek's ass let alone grabbing his ass.

"I picked out an outfit for Craig, so he can look nice for Tweek," Tricia and Red high-fives to each other before Tricia eventually cuts to the chase, "So, let me get this straight! Mister Rapist just waltzed in on Tweek's first date with Craig to seduce him?!"

Wendy and Heidi turn to each other and then to Red, Tricia, and me. They nod at us as a 'yes' answer. No wonder why Tweek is acting this way recently.

"Attempted. According to Tweek, he kicked his ass and escapes from him to go look for you," I let out a sigh of relief to thanks to Wendy. Simultaneously, I am damned to see Tweek beating the shit out of that jackass. I love Tweek both as a cute and badass person! Regardless, I still have a question on Tweek's stitches.

"Wait, what about the stitches on his arms?" I asked Wendy and Heidi who wear concerning looks on their faces.

"Craig... Umm... Tweek did it himself. Because of his sexual assault, he... umm... he cuts himself. I am the first person to find out about it," My world is on the verge of collision at the words from Heidi.

"What?! Why the fuck did he do that?! Why the fuck he didn't tell me about it?! I'm his boyfriend!"

"Because Tweek is ashamed of himself and the situation he's in. He blames and hates himself for it. I remembered Tweek says that he swears he is not a whore or that 'person' who sleeps with every man or something," said Wendy, "Not to mention, he fears you and him will break up again over it."

"Even though that fucking bastard is the one to cause all of this! I swear to god to let me have it to him!" I can see anger written all over my cousin's face, "There is a difference between a whore and someone being raped!"

"Why the fuck is he here anyway?! He should be in jail! He is a fucking pedophile!" chimed Tricia, "He is fucking horrible to Tweek!"

"I forgot to tell you guys more about Tweek. Other than the assault, Tweek also dealt with past sexual harassments coming from men after Tweek broke up with you," "Combine with his anxiety and lack of support, these are the reasons why Tweek's currently diagnosed with PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

"What is PTSD?"  
"In Tweek's case and what him and I had discussed, Tweek experienced flashbacks and images of the trauma leading to a series of panic attacks and being extremely terrified. Because of them, Tweek can't eat, drink, nor sleep; going outside is a war zone for him. He even went through self-destruction by cutting himself, negativity, and he distance himself from us every time we make plans," Heidi clarify the things Tweek put up with in the past weeks or months.

"People with PTSD let out angry outbursts and mental breakdowns. For example, I remembered how Tweek heatedly called Cartman out. Tweek also deteriorate down in tears at my house," I gasp at the state my baby is in according to Wendy. Why didn't I notice the pain Tweek is in? How could I be so oblivious? I'm such a dumbass! Tweek will probably hate me for leaving him alone when he needs me the most as well as I did need him.

"Wait, I have my question. Who took Tweek to the hospital?"

~ Flashback ends ~

What's matters is I made it to the coffee shop along with Wendy (Call Girl) and Kenny (Mysterion) to come to Tweek's aid. Tweek is all I have and I don't want to lose him to the fucking demon laying besides him!

I kissed him as I hold him in my arms while Call Girl is dialing nine-one-one and Mysterion deals with that disgusting pig. I notice he's clinging on to something; I unpeel his fingers to discover a small gold chain with a pendant of a bird which I am perplexed at it.

Until when they took Tweek to the hospital.

~ Flashback starts ~

"Mysterion notified us about this incident before it's too late."

"Yeah. Otherwise, Tweek could've end up... dead. What's going to happen to that bastard?"

"Mysterion is dealing with him at the police station," I nod at her, my eyes peeled on the small gold chain and the bird pendant, "Is that Tweek's necklace?"

"Umm... Yes? I have no idea why Tweek have it in his hand," I tell her and gives her the necklace, "It's broken."

"Oh no, this necklace is from Heidi. She brought it for Tweek to cheer him up."

"Wait, what? She gave it to Tweek?"

"Heidi and Tweek are friends after his breakup with you and the start of the Buddha Box. Tweek forgave her for what she'd had done prior to her relationship with Cartman and Heidi is always there for him especially regarding on his heartache for you and his assault."

It makes senses why Tweek frequently hung out with her and the girls more than the guys. Other than the Buddha box and Cartman. I saw him with her every day at school.

"And I wasn't there for him in weeks or months. All because of me."

"Don't feel bad, Craig. If it wasn't for the Buddha box and Cartman, Tweek won't evolve into the person he is without depending on you all the times. He's more than just your boyfriend or a spaz or anyone else."

"Still, I feel responsible for Tweek's pain and suffering. I'm a terrible boyfriend."

"No, it is nobody's fault but Cartman and that fucking pig! They are the reasons why the town turns out to be a fuckery! The reasons why Tweek cried every day and night in scars and bruises! You did what you can do to get Tweek back!"

"It is because I love him! I love him! I care about him! I never meant to drive Tweek away!" My voice is fragmenting as my eyes are getting watery to let out a sob, "I love him! I love him! I love him! I fucking love him!"

"Craig, we all make mistakes. Just because you ignored Tweek for the past weeks or months with the Buddha box it doesn't mean Tweek will hate you forever. I know why you're giving him bouquets of flowers and poems in secret, winning the football game, and taking him to the carnival on your first date. I can understand why you're in his house."

"I love him so much. I wish I could hug Tweek and apologize to him thousands of times."

Wendy puts her hand on my shoulder and calmly said to me, "Relationship takes a lot of time, patience, and efforts. You got to do more than this in order for Tweek to love you back let alone trust you."

~ Flashback ends ~

I pull him close to me, giving him kisses on his forehead. I carry him upstairs to my bedroom and lay him down on my bed. Scooting over to him, I wrap my arm around Tweek to kiss him tenderly.

It feels amazing to have Tweek by my side after weeks or months of being in the Buddha box. Weeks or months without Tweek. My eyes may be in the Buddha box, but my heart comes home to the only person I love the most. The person who is the best thing to me. The person who stay by my side despite of my mistakes. The person who is right in front of me the whole time no matter what.

I know they say that I regret turning my back on Tweek for a Buddha box. I know they say that Tweek impulsively took me back without even thinking. Nevertheless, my relationship with Tweek will going to last longer than Heidi and Cartman. Because I love him! I love him more than anything else in this fucking world besides Stripes! I love him to have reasons why I should never give up on him! Reasons why I should never leave him!

~ Flashback starts ~

"Relationship takes a lot of time, patience, and efforts. You got to do more than this in order for Tweek to love you back let alone trust you."

~ Flashback ends ~

"I love you, Tweek."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I did throwbacks on the previous seasons and episodes of South Park and Thirteen Reasons Why.


	22. Not Your Fault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own South Park or anything else. South Park belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone. The song, "Thank You, Next", belongs to Ariana Grande. Disney's 2019 live-action remake movie, Aladdin, belongs to Guy Ritchie under Walt Disney production.
> 
> Warning: Profanities, mentions of sexual assault, PTSD, and other contents that are considered inappropriate.

Chapter 22: Not Your Fault

"Morning, honey," I hug Tweek from behind as I tilt down to pepper him in kisses. I look to see Tweek's staring down at his unfinished cup of coffee.

"Morning," Tweek softly replies to me.

"What's wrong, babe?" I ask him.

"Nothing," Tweek's watery green-hazel eyes say otherwise. I kiss him at the corner of his eye while listening to his sniffle, "On second thought, I am not in a mood for coffee right now."

Tweek walks to the sink to drain the brown liquid down the sink, "I'm going to bed."

"Tweek," I watch him striding out of the kitchen with his head low and tears streaking on his face.

"Craig, Tweek is never the same after the fucking prick deflowered him," Tricia appears in the kitchen, pouring some cereal and milk in a bowl.

"Look, he is at the police station right now. He is in jail and will be interrogated. What's important is that Tweek is going to be safe here at our house."

"Because I want him locked up forever. No, dead for life. Look what he did to him. Look at the bruises and scars on Tweek because of him."

"I'm going to my room to talk to Tweek," I go upstairs and enter my room to the sound of Tweek's crying.

"Babe? Honey?" I sit beside Tweek and wrap my arms around him.

"Craig, what are you doing here? Go away."

"Tweek, I know about what he does to you that completely upsets you."

"How?"

"Wendy, Heidi, and Red told me and Tricia about it. And how you cut yourself," I look down at Tweek's arms and wrists to notice the scars and marks from that fucking bastard's grips, "Why didn't you tell me about it? Why did you do it?"

Tweek takes a deep breath and wipes his tears away, "Because other than the fact you're in the Buddha box and I broke up with you, I am... am... I feel ashamed for this situation I put myself in. I feel dirty and impure from the atrocious thing he did to me! And now since we're back together, I just can't bring myself to come clean with you! I can't bear to lose you over it and my anxiety!"

"Tweek, I..."

"It is my fault."

"How is it your fault for something this dickhead had put you in?"

"You don't know what it is like to be drowned in my own demons, anxiety, and thoughts about the whole thing. I still feel his presence next to me or... on top of me. I still hear his voice. I still remember his face, hair, clothes, and tattoos. I still have these images of you know," He hits his fist against his palm repeatedly, "I foolishly lost more than my senses to him and this is the price I have to pay."

"Is that why you'd woke up early in the morning?"

"Yes, I couldn't sleep because of this incident. I'm always this person in the woods who let someone's so malicious ripped my heart, mind, and body up in pieces. His dick hurts me," His eyes are red, puffy, and dark from so much crying and not enough sleep, "Here I always imagine being groped on the ass is bad enough. It is my fault for it! It is my fault for everything! And I hate myself for it!"

"Tweek, it is never your fault. He hurt you. Please don't blame yourself for his doing, baby."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, no, no. I am not mad at you for it. Why would you think that?"

"I feel like I'm cheating on you with him or another guy or something," Tweek turns around away from me, "It is stupid and reckless of me to cut myself since the whole thing. It is a terrible idea to keep it a secret from you. I know you probably be bothered or disgusted by me. It is fine if you want to..."

I spontaneously tug him at me to capture him in a deep kiss. Tweek is wrong to take the blame for the things that bastard does to him. He is the reason for my baby's scars, bruises, and tears. It is magical and incredible to love someone like Tweek; lasts for seconds to a minute thanks to the urge for oxygen. Once we stopped the kiss, I can see Tweek's blissed look on his face.

"I love you no matter what. You're not cheating on me. There is a difference between cheating and rape. I understand where this is coming from. And I'm much to blame here for ignoring you and never be there for you through ups and downs."

"No hard feelings, Craig. I realize that after the whole thing, I can stand up for myself. I learn to never rely on you all the times. I love you, too, Craig."

"Still, I want to be there for you to protect you from all of the bad and bat-shit crazy things," I kiss his wrist and arm.

"I dealt with him before and I have beaten the shit out of him twice. Plus when I met him outside of the market."

"You're so badass and I like it," Me and Tweek both laugh at each other.

"One question."  
"What is it, sweetie?"

"What will happen to … him?"

"Oh, umm... he is someplace elsewhere he will leave you alone. Don't worry about him."

"Oh, right."

Grrrrrrrr!

"Is it your stomach?" I smirk at him.

"Yes."

"Stay here. I'll make something. In the meantime, you need to get some rest," Tweek smiles sadly at me as I lay him down on my bed.  
I exit out of my room to go downstairs. At a rush, I return to the kitchen table to find Tricia still eating her cereal.

"Tricia, can you watch Tweek for me? I need to go do something for Tweek," I ask her.

"Okay, Craig. I'm still going to kill that fuckwit for raping Tweek," I nod at her.

No one's point of view

Craig heads out of the door to scurry to the same 24/7 convenience store for blueberries, strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, whipped cream, and a box of pancake mix.

Tweek's point of view

Sleeping in Craig's bed, these flashbacks of him are haunting me. I start turning and tossing around the bed, arching my back, and shaking my head.

No! No! No! No!

~ Flashback starts ~

"Nice ass, fag."

"You're so cute acting all feisty and shit. I love it when you're playing hard to get, kitten."

"Tight ass."

"Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch!"

"You're even sexier without clothes on."

"There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night."

In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out... In...Out...

"You're a pussy-ass cunthole!"

"Oh baby, let me fuck you so good!"

"You know love, I've always wanted to jack you off. Do you enjoy the way I make you moan and cum?!"

"The more you resist, the more I get horny."

"Where the hell do you think you're going?!" Oh no, not the backroom!

"What's wrong, tight ass?! Can't handle my huge dick in your asshole?! You're just saying it because you want it!" Even in my flashback, I can still remember his dick thrusting inside me. This is more despicable than the first time he raped me! And I feel so fucking dirty for it!

"Light it up, dollface!"

~ Flashback ends ~

Before I can shout out "no" to him in my sleep, I manage to rose up from an aroma of pancakes and the sound of a song. It sounds very familiar; I heard it before. I gasp at the words going along the beat.

Thought I'd end up with Sean  
But he wasn't a match  
Wrote some songs about Ricky  
Now I listen and laugh  
Even almost got married  
And for Pete, I'm so thankful  
Wish I could say, "Thank you" to Malcolm  
'Cause he was an angel

Wait, I recognize this song. "Thank You, Next" by Ariana Grande. The song that I sang after my breakup with Craig. The song that brings me back the memories of a starting friendship with Heidi and my heartache for Craig. It also brings me back to the Tweek I used to be before the devil himself. The devil himself who is now in the police station, leaving me alone from now on. I hope he never comes back to haunt me or inflict the same pain to someone else as he does and did to me. I hope he just dies in hell and never as a ghost.

I could've done more to him such as confronting him in person about the pain he does to me in the past weeks or months. About how his actions of hurting me physically, sexually, and mentally are the reasons why I am broken. The reasons why I still have scars and bruises all over me. Not to mention the pain in my... Okay, I am not going to say it. About how he is a cold-hearted and twisted bastard who doesn't give a damn about anyone but himself and I hate him for everything! And the broken bird necklace given from Heidi is the solid proof of my stolen virtue by him!

He had gone way too far! First, he groped and kissed me! Second, he kidnapped and raped me in the woods! Third, he tried again on my first date! And now, he went above and beyond at the coffee shop!

I open my mouth to this glorious anthem by Ariana Grande. Such a blissful nostalgia at the audition for the talent show.

One taught me love  
One taught me patience  
And one taught me pain  
Now, I'm so amazing  
I've loved and I've lost  
But that's not what I see  
So, look what I got  
I stand up to go get some kitty ears from my duffel bag. Putting it on, I dance around the room. Throwing my hands in the air, swaying my hips, and goofing around.

Look what you taught me  
And for that, I say  
Thank you, next (next)  
Thank you, next (next)  
Thank you, next  
I'm so fucking grateful for my ex  
Thank you, next (next)  
Thank you, next (next)  
Thank you, next (next)  
I'm so fucking

Spend more time with my friends  
I ain't worry about nothing  
Plus, I met someone else  
We have a better discussion  
I know they say I move on too fast  
But this one gonna last  
Cause his name is Tweekie  
And I'm so good with that  
He taught me love

He taught me patience  
He handles pain  
He's so amazing

I've loved and I've lost  
But that's not what I see

Cause look what I've found (yeah, yeah)

Ain't no need for searching

And for that, I'll say  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next

I'm so fucking grateful for my ex  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Say thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Next)  
I'm so fucking grateful for my ex

Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
One day I will walk down the aisle  
Holding hands with Heidi  
I'll be thanking Cartman  
Cause she grew from the drama

Only wanna do it once, real bad  
Go on make that shit lasts  
God forbid something happens  
At least this song is a smash  
I got so much love  
Got so much patience  
I've learned from the pain

I turned out amazing  
I've loved and I've lost  
But that's not what I see  
Cause look what I've found (yeah, yeah)

Ain't no need for searching

And for that, I'll say

Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next  
I'm so fucking grateful for my ex  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Say thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Next)  
I'm so fucking grateful for my ex  
Thank you, next (Thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Say thank you, next)  
Thank you, next (Next)  
I'm so fucking grateful for my ex  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
Yeah, yee  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
Thank you, next  
"Thank you, next!" I did a split, "Yeah!"

"Oh my fucking god, I am liking what I am watching here," I turn to see Craig standing at the door, smirking at me.

"Gahh! Craig! How long have you been standing there, watching me?!"

"Hmm... when I get to 'I've loved and I've lost. But that's not what I see. Cause look what I've found. Ain't no need for searching. And for that, I'll say'."

"Oh," My face is flushed in embarrassment that I want to go hide under the rock and never come out until the end of the world.

"You are so cute," He pets and kisses me on the head, "I made you breakfast."

I look at a plate of pancakes topped with raspberries, blackberries, strawberries, and whipped cream served to me. The other plate of pancakes, glazed in maple syrup and has some butter on top, is Craig's breakfast considering how he likes everything plain and simple.

"Thank you for the breakfast and... thank you for saving my life."

Craig's point of view

"Hey, I'm your boyfriend and I just want to know it is not your fault for this. I want to protect you."

"Even though I did stand up for myself, really. Despite he's in jail, he is still in my mind."

"Don't worry babe, I'll deal with him."

"I appreciate you protecting me. I was wondering if I were to go to the police station and upfront him."

"No, Tweek. No, No, No, No. You went through too much hell and I don't want you hurt or worse. It's too risky! You hear me, baby?"

"I...I...I... Yes, it is true. Who knows what he might do if I did come to the police station and be confrontational to him?" Tweek shifts his mood from happy to something else, "Craig, there is also a reason why I didn't tell you about it. Remember our first date to the carnival?"  
"Oh, yes. Why so?" I raise my eyebrow at him in confusion.

"Because of him, I try to subdue the panic attack and flashbacks when we kissed or hooked up. I am petrified of being… intimate with you. Like having sex with you," I gulp at what he is insinuating; I hold it together to acknowledge what is he's feeling about it.  
"Oh..." I'm blushing intensely, letting my hormones building me up from the thought of being with Tweek on a new level. I swear my dick is tingling and swelling at it. My parents talked to me about 'the birds and the bees' and consent before.

"Tweek, I love you no matter what. I don't care about sex because sex isn't important in a relationship. I care about you and am here to listen or help you in any ways. I promise to never do something that makes you uncomfortable. I promise to never let someone hurt you. I promise myself to never hurt you. Please let start over together as a couple."

"I love you, Craig. I know you're a gentleman underneath the person who doesn't give a fuck and flips people off," Tweek kisses me on the cheek, "Hey, I was wondering if we can watch a movie."

"Sure. What about the new Aladdin movie?" The Aladdin movie is the only movie I can come up with Tweek's having PTSD and I don't want to freak him out. Additionally, I know that Tweek likes Disney.

"Oh, I haven't watched it, but I would love to."  
"Let's watch it on the TV. Stay put while I get my laptop to connect to Netflix," I get up to go grab my laptop. Clicking and typing on my laptop, I connect Netflix to my TV and start the movie.

"Lay back and enjoy the movie, babe," Tweek and I cuddle together on my bed.

~ Later ~

"Wow, this movie is spectacular. It's magical. It's surreal. I like the part where Princess Jasmine jumps off of the balcony after stealing the lamp from the creepy dickhead Jafar. Most of all, I love the song," Tweek bops his head and swings his body around as he hums to the song from the movie, "This is better than Frozen's "Let It Go" by Elsa."

"I'm glad you like it. I know how much you love Disney that you always blabber about going to Disneyland or Disneyworld."

"How did you know about it?"

"Well, I may have eavesdropped on you and Heidi during your cheer practice. By the way, you look so cute in your cheerleading uniform," I admitted to him.

"Craig, you're not supposed to eavesdrop on people!" I laugh at him as I can't forget the time Token scolded Clyde for eavesdropping on people at lunch.

~ Flashback starts ~

"Clyde, what do I tell about eavesdropping on others? You can't butt in people's businesses."

~ Flashback ends ~

"You're so cute when you're demanding and feisty on me. I love you."

"I love you even if you ditched me for a Buddha box," Tweek pouts his lips at me.

"Hey, hey, don't get all pouty on me. You're too precious," I cup his face to kiss his lips, "I love you even if you're "mad" at me."

"Kiss me, asshole," Tweek demands me both subtly and sultrily.

"At your command, precious," Me and Tweek go on kissing each other. With my body next to his body (not on top of him!), I caress his velvety golden blond hair.

"I love you."

"I love you, too Craig," We both smile at each other romantically like those cheesy ass teen movies.

I was too occupied smooching on the love of my life that I didn't bother to hear the creak of my bedroom door opening and the sound of Tricia's voices.

"Holy fuck! Craig Thomas Tucker!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I did a throwback to one of the previous chapters of this fanfiction


	23. Facing the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own South Park or anything else. South Park belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
> 
> Warning: PTSD, mentions of sexual assault, angst, mention of self-harm, profanities, and anything else considered as inappropriate.

Chapter 23: Facing the Devil

Tweek's point of view

This is it. This is the dress that started it all with the devil. The catalyst to the domino effect of it. A firm squeeze on my ass and the putrid kiss on my lips. Reeks of cigarettes and alcohol in his breath.

This is also the catalyst of who I am now. Just a broken bird. Tarnished of its innocence and strength. Living under the shadows and demons without a voice. Learning about the bad things in the world that nobody knows but me.

Damn, I wish I could burn it!

What's the cherry on top is the broken bird necklace given by my best friend (Yep, I found it on Craig's drawer). The person who is the first to save me from the shadows and demons when nobody is there for me. The person who never writes me off as a bad person for what I'd been through. The person who gives me the fire to fight through the pain.

Heidi Turner. The first person I tell about my sexual assault with my rapist.

And now look what he fucking did to me! He is going to get what's coming at him! He brings the worst in me! He thinks I am his little sex doll to do his dirty work and tell everybody about his sick pleasure on a ten-year-old! Or the ass naked whore boy in the woods! To tell him the truth, he's wrong! He is fucking wrong about me! I am more than this!

Watch out because I am coming at him for real!

I'm sorry, Craig, but I have to do it! I have to fucking do it! What choice do I have?! I want to face him in person! I want to remind him that he won't get away with it! He hurts me so many times! I can't forget how he stripped me ass naked in the woods or pulled my underwear down to fuck the shit out of me! Or how he assaulted me! Or how he attempts his sexual advances on me! Or he is the reason why I cut myself for his crime! Not mine!

I'm going to the fucking police station! I don't fucking care about everybody else have to say nor think about I'm going to do in there!

No one's point of view

Tweek, in a black dress and boots, heads out of Craig's house. Though it is pitch black and chilly outside, he relentlessly steps out to make his way through the neighborhoods and streets to the police station.

"I'm fucking coming at you!" muttered Tweek scornfully.

Unbeknownst him, someone is following and glimpsing at him afar.

Tweek's point of view

Here it is. The police station. Time to give the motherfucker a piece of my mind for everything he did to me! This is personal to me! I just want this to end! I want this to end! I want this to end!

As I was marching to the police station, I hear a voice in my head. Craig's voice, "No, Tweek. No, No, No, No. You went through too much hell and I don't want you hurt or worse. It's too risky! You hear me, baby?"

Hell no! I'm not backing down without a fight! I love you, Craig, but I want to deal with him myself as I did to him numerous times! I am infuriated and hurt because of him!

I learn to rely on me and myself when it comes to my battle. Only me and myself. Not Heidi. Not Wendy. Not Mysterion. Not anyone else. And certainly not Craig.

Entering the police station, I take a deep breath and approach fearlessly to the desk officer.

"I would like to visit him. The guy with black hair styled in a mohawk and wears a black T-shirt, denim sagging pants, Jordan shoes, black leather jacket, and chains. Tattoos on his left arm," I ask him.

"Umm… Yes. The name's Vinny Viper. I'll take you to the visitation room."

Yep, that's the name of my rapist. Vinny Viper. The guy who is the reason for my pain. And the reason for my anger and revived strength. Get ready, Vinny Viper! I am fucking coming at you!

"Oh, thanks," I follow him along to the visitation room. Yep, just like the one in TV shows and movies. A glass wall between two sides with two telephones. Brace myself for a war zone!

I sit down as I am waiting for him to arrive.

"Hey bub! You got a visitor here to see you!" Oh god, he's coming right now. Here comes the devil.

"Hey tight ass. Looking so precious as always when I met you."  
"Yeah, I met you. You grabbed my ass and kissed me," I gritted my teeth to keep my composure, "Funny how you said to me that I have a "nice ass"."

"No need to be hostile, tight ass. What are you doing here? Missed being fucked real hard by me?"

"No. I am here to tell you how you raped me and I hate you for it. You ruin my life," I can see the smirk on his face. That fucking dickbag! I can't believe him! Just like Bryce Walker when he raped Jessica, Hannah, Chloe, and other girls in 13 Reasons Why both season one and two, "Not only you raped me, but you assaulted me! You raped and assaulted me and I hate you for it!"

"Don't try to be overdramatic. You asked for it."  
"No, I don't! I say no to you, but you raped and assaulted me! I still remember you! I still remember how you're trying to get me in your pant!" I point my index finger at him, accusing him of all of the horrible things he did to me, "And I won't forgive you for it!"

"Again, you are crazy! You came onto me!"  
"Oh, I am crazy?! You fucking raped and assaulted me and I hate you! I fucking hate you!" Tears are dripping all over my face as I feel my heart shattering into pieces, "I fucking hate you so much that I still remember your weight on top of me as you stripped me ass naked to put your dick in me! What did you say to me when I am trying to say no to you or to back off?

"You complimented me how my ass is tight when you ram your dick in me! Kiss me! Moan like a slut, you bitch! You're even sexier without clothes on," I imitate what he said to me at the time he sexually assaulted me. They are still in my head like a tape recorder, "There, there baby boy. I am going to show you experience. I want my dick ramming in your ass and g-spot so hard. You'll be screaming out loud in this night.

"Oh baby, let me fuck you so good! You know love, I've always wanted to jack you off. Do you enjoy the way I make you moan and cum?! What's wrong, tight ass?! Can't handle my huge dick in your asshole?! You're just saying it because you want it! And you called dollface and told me to lighten up.

"You are the most disgusting, vile, twisted, lying, and cold-hearted snake who doesn't give a damn about anyone but yourself I ever met since you groped and kissed me! Since you raped me! You stole everything I have! You are the reason for my PTSD, scars, and bruises all over my body! I hate you!" I had been waiting to say these things to him for weeks or months, "And here I thought it is my fault for it."

"Tweek, it is never your fault," I feel an embrace around me of two people. Mysterion and Super Craig.

"So you're the one who raped my boyfriend?! I am going to beat the living shit out of you!" I look to see Super Craig with fire in his blue eyes.

"Mysterion, Super Craig, what are you doing? You heard it all?" I mutter to him.

"Everything."

"Listen here, dipshit! You leave my baby alone! I'll kill you, son of a bitch!" As much as I love it when Craig gets angry and protective of me, I would like it if I can fight my own battle here.  
"Craig, honey, please!" I turn around to my rapist one last time, "I have one thing to say to you! I want you locked away in jail and I want you out of my life! I am going to press charges against you for everything you did to me! Get ready because I am coming at you for real! I'll see you at court and in hell! By the way, my name is Tweek, not tight ass!"

"And fuck you!" I flip him off before walking away. I take deep breathes to calm myself from the outburst I blast at him.

**Author's Note:**

> My story for this work is on Fanfiction.net and Wattpad:  
> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13164869/1/Bittersweet-Ignorance  
> https://www.wattpad.com/674889100-bittersweet-ignorance-fuck-the-buddha-box


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